RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&....&.. «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&....&...
....&&...& ...&&...&&
.&&....&.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&....&...
....&&.... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &..&&...&&
.&&....&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ......&...
....&&..&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&...&&
.&&......& &&&&..&...
....&&&&.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&.....&&
.&&..&&... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&..&&&...
........&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &....&..&&
.&&&&&&..& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&&......
..&&&&.... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .....&&&&&
...&&..&&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&..&&&.
&&........ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&....&..
...&&&&&&& .&..&&....
&&..&&&&&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .......&&&
&....&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&&&&..&&
..&&..&&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&&....&
.......&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&&&..&&..
&&&&&&..&& OPERATION. ..&......&
&&&&&....& &...&&&&..
.&&&..&&.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..&..&&...
..&....... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &.......&&
....&&&&&& ..&&&&&...
&&&..&&&&& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &..&&&..&&
&&....&&&& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ....&....&
&..&&..&&& .&&...&&..
........&& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ....&.....
&&&&&&&..& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&&...&&&&
&&&&&&.... ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &&..&..&&&
&&&&&..&&. ««# AND AT EASE #«« ........&&
&&&&...... &&&&&&&..&
&&&..&&&&. ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &&&&&&....
.&....&&.. ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &&&&&..&&.
...&&....& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &&&&......
&&....&&.. &&&..&&&&&
&..&&..... ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« .&....&&&&
......&&&& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ...&&..&&&
.&&&&..&&. ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &&......&.
..&&...... ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &..&&&&...
&....&&&&& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ....&&..&&
..&&..&&&& &&&......&
.......&&. «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&..&&&&..
,,,«, , ««, , «, ,«
, ,, , , . ,. .
. . * .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.