party,  bathroom,  door  locked,  lights 
 off,  shower curtains  drawn. floor full 
 of dirty  clothes, of garbage,  and as i 
 start to unzip my  pants,  she steps out 
 of   the   shower   and   pushes  me  to 
 theground. 
  
 i   wish   to   be   contacted  by  some 
 [god,  alien] who would  bestow upon  me 
 some  incredible  power  that  will  set 
 everything  right forever. what  i don't 
 know  is  that  this  happens   multiple 
 times per second -  they ask  me:  "when 
 you  said the  world egg was your  ideal 
 body  type, did you  mean it"?  i answer 
 "not really,  but i can act like  it for 
 you,  if  you'd  like".  at  this  point 
 however  they  have  already  erased  my 
 memory of  the  encounter and moved  on. 
 subconsciously,   this   is   where   my 
 sadnesscomesfrom