dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,   and  for  a  second 
 everything is  completely  calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to  piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear   hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my  vision, pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my mind.  it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in  my mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't  hear anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to crawl on  the floor searching 
 relief,  such is my nature. turning  the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but time  does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my  eyes are still tense though, scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if you wander  too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine  a prick on the nose,  that's 
 what these are. like  you do with a  cat 
 who comes to close to  your  sandwich...