dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,   and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to  piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me   and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over my  vision,  pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel  them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my mind.  it's like 
 language, sentences i  can't hide  from, 
 forcefully transcribed in my  mind,  and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i realize i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief,  such is my  nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of this  happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know   what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a prick  on the nose,  that's 
 what  these are. like you do with  a cat 
 who comes  to  close to your sandwich...