dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,   and  for  a  second 
 everything is completely  calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to  piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and   i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and  crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost hostile. i  can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my  mind. it's like 
 language,  sentences i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my  mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then i realize  i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody, almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to  crawl on the floor searching 
 relief, such  is my nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but  time  does - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything of  this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense  though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you wander too  far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick on the  nose,  that's 
 what these are. like you do  with a  cat 
 who comes to close  to your  sandwich...