dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for  a   second 
 everything is completely calm  and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and   i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and  crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile.  i can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my mind.  it's like 
 language, sentences  i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in  my mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't  hear anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief, such is my nature.  turning  the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but time does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still  tense though, scared. 
 i    don't   know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can happen if you wander too  far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine  a  prick  on the nose, that's 
 what  these are. like you  do with a cat 
 who comes to  close to your  sandwich...