RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨##¨¨# »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨###¨
####¨¨¨¨¨¨ #####¨¨#¨¨
¨##¨¨##### THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ####¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨###¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ###¨¨#####
¨####¨¨#¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ##¨¨¨¨###¨
¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #¨¨##¨¨#¨¨
#¨¨¨¨##### ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#
¨¨##¨¨###¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨#######¨¨
#¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨#####¨¨#
¨¨####¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨
#¨¨##¨¨### THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ##¨¨#¨¨###
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨## WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨##
¨######¨¨# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #######¨¨¨
¨¨####¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨#####¨¨##
¨¨¨##¨¨### ¨¨###¨¨¨¨¨
##¨¨¨¨¨¨## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #¨¨#¨¨####
#¨¨####¨¨# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨###
¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨#####¨¨##
¨##¨¨¨¨### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨###¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨##¨¨## OPERATION. #¨¨#¨¨####
¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨# ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨##¨
¨¨¨¨####¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ######¨¨¨¨
###¨¨##¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: #####¨¨###
##¨¨¨¨¨¨## ####¨¨¨¨##
#¨¨####¨¨# »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ###¨¨##¨¨#
¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
###¨¨¨¨##¨ ¨¨¨#######
##¨¨##¨¨¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨#¨¨######
#¨¨¨¨¨¨### »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨¨¨¨¨#####
¨¨####¨¨## »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ####¨¨####
¨¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ###¨¨¨¨##¨
##¨¨¨¨#### ##¨¨##¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨##¨¨##¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» #¨¨¨¨¨¨##¨
##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨¨####¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨######¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» #¨¨##¨¨##¨
##¨¨####¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨##¨¨# »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» #########¨
####¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨#######¨¨
¨##¨¨####¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨¨#####¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨##¨¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨¨¨###¨¨##
¨####¨¨¨¨¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ##¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨##¨¨#### ¨¨¨¨¨¨####
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨### »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» #####¨¨##¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.