RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&&¨&&¨¨¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &&¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨&¨¨&& ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&¨&&&¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
&&&¨¨&&&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&&¨¨¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨¨&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨&¨¨&&&¨
¨&&&&¨&¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&&&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨¨¨&&&¨&& &¨¨&&&¨&&¨
&¨¨&¨¨&&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨¨&&¨&&
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&¨&¨&&¨¨
&&¨&&&&¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨&&&&¨&¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨¨¨&&&&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨¨¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨&&¨¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨&&¨¨&&&
¨¨&&¨&¨&¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&¨&¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨&&&&&¨& ¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨¨&¨&¨&&
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨&&&&&¨&
&&&&&&&¨&& OPERATION. ¨&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨& &¨&¨¨¨&¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&¨¨&&&¨&
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&¨&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&& ¨&&&&¨&¨¨&
¨¨&&¨&&&¨& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &¨¨¨&&&¨&&
¨&¨&&¨¨&&¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &¨¨&¨¨&&¨&
&&&¨&¨&¨&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&&&
¨¨&&&&&&&¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &&¨&&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨&&& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» &&&¨&¨&¨¨&
&&¨¨¨&&¨¨& ¨¨&&&&&¨&&
¨&¨¨&¨&¨&& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&&¨&&&&&¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &&¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨&¨¨&&&&¨&
&¨&¨¨¨&&&& &&¨&¨¨¨&&&
&&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨&¨¨¨¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &¨&&&¨&¨&&
&¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &&¨¨&&&&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨¨¨& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨&¨&¨¨¨&&¨
&&&¨&&¨¨&¨ &&&&¨¨&¨&&
¨¨&&¨&¨&&¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨&¨&&&¨¨
,,,», , »», , », ,»
, ,, , , ¨ ,¨ ¨
¨ ¨ $ ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.