RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&.&&&&..& ---------------------------------------- &&....&&..
&.&&...&.& ..&...&.&.
&&&.&..&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &.&&..&&&&
...&&&.&.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&&.&.&...
...&..&&&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&.&&&&&..
...&&.&..& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .&&&....&.
...&.&&&.& .&..&...&&
&..&&&..&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .&&.&&..&.
&&.&..&.&. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&.&&.&.&&
..&&&.&&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &.&&.&&&&.
..&..&&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&.&&...&
&.&&.&.&.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ...&&.&..&
.&&.&&&&&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &..&.&&&.&
&&.&&....& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&.&&&..&&
..&&.&...& &&&&..&.&.
..&.&&&..& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &...&.&&&&
&.&&&..&.& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&..&&&...
&&&..&.&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &.&.&..&..
&..&.&&&.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&&&.&&.
&&.&&&..&. OPERATION. ......&&.&
..&&..&.&& &.....&.&&
&.&.&.&&&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&....&&&.
&&&&&&&..& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&...&..&
.......&.& &..&..&&.&
&......&&& --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- .&.&&.&.&&
.&.....&.. --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- .&&&.&&&&.
.&&....&&. .&..&&...&
&&.&...&.& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- &&&.&.&..&
..&&&..&&& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &..&&&&&.&
&.&..&.&.. --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- .&.&....&&
.&&&.&&&&. --# AND AT EASE #-- &&&&&...&.
.&..&&...& &....&..&&
&&&.&.&..& --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- .&...&&.&.
&..&&&&&.& --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- .&&..&.&&&
.&.&....&& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- .&.&.&&&..
.&&&&...&. .&&&&&..&.
.&...&..&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- &&....&.&&
&&&..&&.&. --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ..&...&&&.
&..&.&.&&& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- &.&&..&..&
.&.&&&&&.. --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &&&.&.&&.&
&&&&....&. --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &..&&&&.&&
....&...&& &&.&...&&.
....&&..&. ---------------------------------------- &.&&&..&.&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.