RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨ ======================================== &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨& ¨¨&&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨& ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== &&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== &¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&& ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨& ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== &¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== &&¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨&&¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨& ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ======================================== ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.