RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ---------------------------------------- &&¨¨&&¨¨&¨
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&¨&¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&&&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&&&&¨¨¨¨
&¨&&&¨&¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨&&&&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&¨&¨¨¨&&¨ ¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&&&¨¨&¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&&&&¨&&¨
¨¨¨&¨&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨¨¨&&¨&&
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&&&¨&&&
&&¨&&¨¨¨¨& OPERATION. &&&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨¨&& ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&&¨¨&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&&&&&&&¨
&&¨¨&¨&&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨&¨&&&¨&&¨ &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
&&&¨¨&&¨&¨ --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨&¨&&&¨ --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&&&&¨¨&& &¨¨¨&&&&&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&¨& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- &¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&&&&&& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &&¨&¨¨¨&&&
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&& --# AND AT EASE #-- ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨
&&¨&¨¨¨&¨& &¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&&&& --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &¨&&&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &&¨¨&&&&&¨
&¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨& &&&&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨&
&&¨&¨&¨&&& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ¨¨&&¨&¨&&&
¨&&&&&&¨¨¨ --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ¨&¨&&&&¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨ --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨&¨&&&¨ ¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&&&¨¨&& ---------------------------------------- &¨&&&&&&&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.