FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH (THE  PLANET  WHERE I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT  OF  US  HAVE ANTENNAS ON OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE   BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE  HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
    SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM   
 INTO  ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT LARGE AS  FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH  A 
          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION  IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE   GALAXY,  AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN THE  LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR LOCAL  CLUSTERS  PLACE IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE  SUNS MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF THE  GALAXY  AT VELOCITY  AND 
 THE  GALAXY IS MOVING  TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
    AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE   
 AROUND THE GALAXY.  AND WE AS  A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE ALL THIS,  DESPITE ALL  OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO PROGRAMMES OUT  IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT  IS OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
    FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS   
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE      HAS        ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS  TO  INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE UNIVERSE  SAY IT'S  BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE STAR (LIKE  THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT   REALLY  ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT  WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE DOING  (AND IT  PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO  SMOKE MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR  AND TRY  TO SNATCH SOME BEERS 
         FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING