FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH  (THE PLANET  WHERE I LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF US  HAVE  ANTENNAS ON OUR  HOUSES 
 OR   BALCONIES,  WE   HAVE  BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS  FOR LARGER  BANDWITH, WE  HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT  LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY  BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION  IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE   GALAXY,  AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN THE LOCAL  CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR LOCAL  CLUSTERS PLACE  IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND  THE 
 CENTER  OF THE  GALAXY  AT VELOCITY  AND 
 THE  GALAXY IS  MOVING TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE  GALAXY. AND WE AS  A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES OUT IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED OF LIGHT  (LIGHT  IS  OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO      ONE       HAS        ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS TO  INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY  IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR  AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY  FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY   ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK  EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE  DOING (AND IT  PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA GO SMOKE  MY  THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR  AND TRY TO SNATCH SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING