FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH (THE PLANET  WHERE I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF  US  HAVE  ANTENNAS ON OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE   HAVE  BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER BANDWITH,  WE  HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT  LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA  WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE  LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     
 PLACEMENT  IN  THE   GALAXY,   AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN  THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR LOCAL CLUSTERS PLACE  IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND  THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE GALAXY  AT VELOCITY  AND 
 THE GALAXY  IS  MOVING TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
    AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE   
 AROUND  THE  GALAXY. AND WE AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE  ALL  THIS,  DESPITE ALL OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES  OUT IN  FUCKING SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT IS  OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT  LIFE IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY IT'S BECAUSE  YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER STAR  AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY  FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY   ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE  AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE DOING  (AND  IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA GO SMOKE  MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR AND  TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING