dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for   a  second 
 everything is completely  calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the   fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are  circles and crosses inscribed 
 all  over my vision,  pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding  trenches in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in my  mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't  hear anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to crawl on the  floor searching 
 relief, such  is my  nature. turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting... but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still  tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can happen if you wander too  far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a  prick  on the nose, that's 
 what these are.  like  you do with a cat 
 who comes  to  close to your sandwich...