dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and   for  a  second 
 everything  is  completely calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and  i   feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over my  vision,  pressing in, being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my  mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in  my mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize i  can't hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely calm.  it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on  the floor searching 
 relief, such is  my nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of  this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still  tense though, scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen if you  wander  too far, 
 i  guess?  i shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine  a  prick on  the nose, that's 
 what these  are. like you do with a  cat 
 who comes to  close to your  sandwich...