dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for   a  second 
 everything is  completely  calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then   the  fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my  mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't hide  from, 
 forcefully transcribed in  my  mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i realize i  can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl  on the floor searching 
 relief, such  is  my nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but  time  does - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still  tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you  wander too far, 
 i guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick  on the nose,  that's 
 what  these are. like you do  with a cat 
 who comes  to  close to your sandwich...