FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH  (THE PLANET WHERE  I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT  OF  US HAVE ANTENNAS  ON OUR HOUSES 
 OR   BALCONIES,  WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER BANDWITH,  WE  HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT),  WE'VE BUILT  LARGE AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY  BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION  IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT   IN  THE   GALAXY,   AND  OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT  IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR  LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING  AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF THE  GALAXY  AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE  GALAXY  IS  MOVING TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE GALAXY.  AND WE AS A  SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE  ALL  THIS, DESPITE  ALL OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO PROGRAMMES OUT  IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT THE  SPEED  OF  LIGHT (LIGHT  IS  OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO        ONE       HAS      ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS  TO  INTELLIGENT  LIFE IN 
 THE UNIVERSE SAY  IT'S BECAUSE YOU  NEED 
 A CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE STAR  (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY   ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I  THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE  DOING (AND  IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO SMOKE  MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR AND TRY TO SNATCH SOME  BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING