RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&....&... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ....&&..&.
...&&...&& &&&.......
&&....&..& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&..&&&&&&
&..&&..... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .....&&&&&
......&&&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&..&&&&
.&&&&..&.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&....&&.
..&&.....& .&..&&....
&....&&&.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .......&&&
..&&..&..& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&&&..&&
.......... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&&&.....
&&&&&&&&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&&&..&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..&....&&&
&&&&&&&&&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &...&&..&&
&&&&&&&&.. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..&......&
&&&&&&&... ....&&&&..
.&&&&&..&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&&..&&...
..&&&..... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&......&&
...&..&&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &..&&&&...
&&.....&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ....&&..&&
&..&&&..&& OPERATION. .&&......&
....&..... ....&&&&..
&&&...&&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&&..&&..&
&&..&..&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..........
........&& &&&&&&&&&.
&&&&&&&..& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &&&&&&&&..
.&&&&&.... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .&&&&&&...
..&&&..&&. ..&&&&..&&
...&...... ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &..&&.....
&&...&&&&& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ......&&&&
&..&..&&&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&&&&..&&&
.......&&. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&&&....&&
.&&&&&.... &&&..&&...
..&&&..&&. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &&......&&
...&...... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ...&&&&...
&&...&&&&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&..&&..&&
&..&..&&&& &........&
.......&&. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ..&&&&&&..
&&&&&&.... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ...&&&&..&
&&&&&..&&. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&..&&....
.&&&...... ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .......&&.
..&..&&&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&&&&&....
&.....&&&& &&&&&..&&&
..&&&..&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&&....&&
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
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.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.