RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨@¨¨¨¨@@¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨@¨¨¨@¨¨¨@
¨¨@¨¨¨@@@¨ ¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨¨
¨¨¨@¨¨@¨@@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨
¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@¨
¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨@¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@
@¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @@¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨
¨@¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨ ¨@@¨¨¨¨@¨¨
¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨@@@¨¨¨¨@¨
¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨@¨@@¨¨¨¨@
@¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨¨
¨@¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨¨
¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨
¨¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @¨¨¨¨@¨@@¨
¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨@¨¨¨¨¨@@@
@¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨@ ¨¨@¨¨¨¨@¨@
@@¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@
¨@@¨¨¨¨@¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨@
¨@@@¨¨¨¨@¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨
¨@¨@@¨¨¨¨@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨
¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨@¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨
¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨¨ ¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@¨
¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@
@¨¨¨¨@¨@@¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨
¨@¨¨¨¨¨@@@ @@¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨
¨¨@¨¨¨¨@¨@ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @@@¨¨¨@¨¨¨
¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ @¨@@¨¨¨@¨¨
¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨@ ¨¨@@@¨¨¨@¨
¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨@¨@@¨¨¨@
@¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨
¨@¨¨¨¨¨@¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨
¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨
¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@ ¨@¨¨¨¨@¨@@
@¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@@
@@¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ @¨¨@¨¨¨¨@¨
@@@¨¨¨@¨¨¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ @@¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨
@¨@@¨¨¨@¨¨ ¨@@¨¨@¨¨¨¨
¨¨@@@¨¨¨@¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨@@@¨¨@¨¨¨
¨¨@¨@@¨¨¨@ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨@¨@@¨¨@¨¨
¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨¨@@@¨¨@¨
¨¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ @¨¨@¨@@¨¨@
@¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ @@¨¨¨@@@¨¨
¨@¨¨¨¨@¨@@ ¨@@¨¨@¨@@¨
¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨@@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨@@@¨¨¨@@@
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.