RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
....#.##.# »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» #...#.....
......##.# .#...#....
......##.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..#...#...
......###. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ...#...#..
......#.## ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ....#...#.
........## CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #....#...#
#.......#. .#....#...
.#........ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ..#....#..
..#....... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...#....#.
...#...... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ....#....#
#...#..... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .....#....
.#...#.... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ......#...
..#...#... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .......#..
...#...#.. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ........#.
....#...#. .........#
#....#...# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..........
.#....#... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #.........
..#....#.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .#........
...#....#. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..#.......
....#....# OPERATION. ...#......
.....#.... #...#.....
......#... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .#...#....
.......#.. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..#...#...
........#. #..#...#..
.........# »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ##..#...#.
.......... »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» .##..#...#
#......... .###..#...
.#........ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» .#.##..#..
..#....... »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ...###..#.
...#...... »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» #..#.##..#
#...#..... »»# AND AT EASE #»» ##...###..
.#...#.... ###..#.##.
..#...#... »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» #.##...###
#..#...#.. »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ..###..#.#
##..#...#. »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ..#.##...#
.##..#...# ....###..#
.###..#... »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ....#.##..
.#.##..#.. »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ......###.
...###..#. »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ......#.##
#..#.##..# »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ........##
##...###.. »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ........#.
###..#.##. #.........
#.##...### »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ##........
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.