RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..####.... »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ...#..#..#
...##..### ##........
##......## THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #..#######
#..####..# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ....######
....##.... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ###..#####
.##....### CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ##....###.
....##..#. #..##..#..
###....... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .........#
##..###### THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .#######..
.....##### IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..#####...
####..#### THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM #..###..##
###....### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ....#....#
##..##..#. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .##...##..
.......... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ....#.....
#########. ###...####
########.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ##..#..###
#######... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ........##
######..## COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #######..#
#####....# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ######....
.###..##.. OPERATION. #####..##.
..#......# ####......
#...####.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .##..#####
..#..##... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ......####
........## #####..##.
#######..# »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ####......
.#####.... »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ###..####.
..###..##. ##....##..
#..#...... »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» #..##....#
.....##### »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ......##..
####..#### »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» #####....#
###....##. »»# AND AT EASE #»» ####..##..
.#..##.... ###.......
.......##. »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ##..######
.#####.... »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» .....####.
..###..##. »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ####..##..
#..#...... .##......#
.....##### »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ....####..
####..#### »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» .##..##..#
###....##. »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ..........
.#..##.... »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» .########.
.......### »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ..######..
######..## #..####..#
#####....# »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ....##....
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.