RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨¨&&¨¨&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &&&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& ¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& OPERATION. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# AND AT EASE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
,,,», , »», , », ,»
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¨ ¨ § ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.