RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&&&& ¨&&&&&&&&&
¨&¨¨&&&&&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&&&&&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨&&&&&¨¨
&&&&¨¨&¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨¨&&&¨¨&
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ¨¨&&¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&&¨¨¨&&&
&&&¨¨&&&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&&¨¨¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&&&&&¨¨¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&&&¨¨&¨¨& &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&&&&&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&&¨¨&¨¨
&&&&¨¨&¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&& OPERATION. ¨&&¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨&&&¨¨& ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&&&¨¨¨&&
¨&&&¨¨¨&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&& &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&&
&&&&&&&&&& &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&&&&&&&&&& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨&&&&&&&&¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &&&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&&&&¨¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &&&&¨¨&&&&
¨¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» &&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨&&¨¨&& ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
&&&&&&&&&& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&&&&&¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &&&&&¨¨&&¨
¨¨&&&&&&¨¨ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨¨&¨¨&&&&&
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨¨&&&¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&¨¨&&¨¨¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &&¨¨¨&&&&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& &¨¨&¨¨&&&&
&¨¨&&&&¨¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
,,,», , »», , », ,»
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¨ ¨ = ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.