RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&&&.&&.. «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ...&&&.&&&
&&...&&.&. ...&..&&..
&.&..&.&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &..&&.&.&.
&&&&.&&&.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&.&.&&&&&
....&&..&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..&&&&....
....&.&.&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..&...&...
....&&&&&. &.&&..&&..
....&....& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&.&.&.&.
....&&...& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &..&&&&&&&
&...&.&..& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&.&......
&&..&&&&.& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &.&&&.....
&.&.&...&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&&..&....
&&&&&&..&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&.&.&&...
&.....&.&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&&&&&.&..
&&....&&&. &&....&&&.
&.&...&..& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..&...&..&
.&&&..&&.& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &.&&..&&.&
&&..&.&.&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&.&.&.&&
..&.&&&&&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ...&&&&&&.
..&&&....& OPERATION. ...&.....&
&.&..&...& &..&&....&
.&&&.&&..& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&.&.&...&
&&..&&.&.& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&&&&&..&
..&.&.&&&& &......&.&
&.&&&&&... ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&.....&&&
.&&....&.. ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ..&....&..
.&.&...&&. &.&&...&&.
.&&&&..&.& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« .&&.&..&.&
&&...&.&&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&.&&&.&&&
..&..&&&.. ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &.&&..&&..
..&&.&..&. ««# AND AT EASE #«« .&&.&.&.&.
..&.&&&.&& .&.&&&&&&&
&.&&&..&&. ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &&&&......
&&&..&.&.& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ....&.....
&..&.&&&&& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ....&&....
&&.&&&.... &...&.&...
&.&&..&... ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« .&..&&&&..
&&&.&.&&.. ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&&.&...&.
&..&&&&.&. ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ...&&&..&&
.&.&...&&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &..&..&.&.
.&&&&..&.. ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« .&.&&.&&&&
&&...&.&&. &&&&.&&...
&.&..&&&.& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ....&&.&..
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, ,, , , . ,. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.