RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ ¨¨&&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ OPERATION. &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.