RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION                     
                                                              
¨¨¨§§¨¨¨§§ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨§§¨§¨§§¨§
§¨¨§§§¨¨§¨                                          ¨§§¨¨¨§§¨¨
¨§¨§¨§§¨¨¨ THE  COMPUTER IS A  VERY COMMON TOOL  IN ¨§§§¨¨§§§¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN  NOW. ¨§¨§§¨§¨§§
§¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨ ITS JOB IS TO  DO VAST  AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨§§¨¨¨§§
§§¨¨¨¨¨§§§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF  TIME. ¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨
§§§¨¨¨¨§¨§                                          ¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨
§¨§§¨¨¨¨¨§ MOST  WORK ON  THE PRINCIPLES  OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨
¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨§ THE PROBLEM  ON A  HILBERT  PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨
¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨¨ IS  THEN  FOLDED  OUT OF  CAUSALITY,  SO §¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§
§¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨ THAT   DAEMONS  CAN  SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM §§¨¨¨¨¨§¨§
§§¨¨§¨§§¨¨   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨§§¨¨¨§§§¨ DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE §¨§§¨¨¨¨¨§
¨§§§¨¨§¨§§          COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)         ¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨¨
¨§¨§§¨¨¨§§                                          ¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   ¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨
¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨ CLERKS TO  PRAY TO  THE  "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨ COMPUTER,  OR TO THE DAEMONS  DOING  THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨ WORK,  FOR  A  QUICK  AND   FAULT   FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§                OPERATION.                ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
§§¨¨¨¨¨§¨§                                          ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§      SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY       §¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§¨§§¨¨¨¨¨§    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨¨                                          ¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨¨      ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #««      ¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨        ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #««        §¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨                                          ¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨     ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #««     ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§    ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #««    §¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§     ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #««     §§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨            ««# AND AT EASE #««           §§§¨¨§¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨                                          §¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨     ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #««     ¨¨§§§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨     ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #««     ¨¨§¨§§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨   ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #««   §¨¨¨§§§¨¨§
§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨                                          §§¨¨§¨§§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨   ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #««    ¨§§¨¨¨§§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨    ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #««     ¨§§§¨¨§¨§§
§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨     ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #««    ¨§¨§§¨¨¨§§
§§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨      ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #««     ¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨
§§§¨¨§¨¨¨§       ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #««        ¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨
§¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨                                          ¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨
¨¨§§§¨¨§¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« §¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨
           ^^^«^     ^   ««^   ^            «^   ^«           
           ^     ^^      ^     ^     ¨     ^¨     ¨           
           ¨            ¨                  *      ¨           
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           WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF           
           TO    BE    A     KIND     OF    PRAYER?           
           AS   IN,    YOU   MAKE   A   CONVOLUTED,           
           INTRICATE,    BEAUTIFUL,   AND   USELESS           
           ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,   YOU'RE  USING  YOUR           
           SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING,           
                                                              
           ...I'D   ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL  OF  BUGS?           
                                                              
           CODE   HAS    BUGS,    LOTS    OF    IT.