RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨&&&¨¨&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& &¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨¨& ¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ OPERATION. &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&& &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ ¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &¨¨&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨¨&¨&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
^^^«^ ^ ««^ ^ «^ ^«
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.