RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..@...@... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .@.@@..@..
...@...@.. ...@@@..@.
....@...@. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ...@.@@..@
@....@...@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .....@@@..
.@....@... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @....@.@@.
..@....@.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .@.....@@@
@..@....@. ..@....@.@
@@..@....@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @..@.....@
.@@..@.... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @@..@....@
.@@@..@... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @@@..@....
.@.@@..@.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @.@@..@...
...@@@..@. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..@@@..@..
...@.@@..@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..@.@@..@.
.....@@@.. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ....@@@..@
@....@.@@. ....@.@@..
.@.....@@@ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ......@@@.
..@....@.@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @.....@.@@
@..@.....@ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .@......@@
@@..@....@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..@.....@.
@@@..@.... OPERATION. ...@......
@.@@..@... ....@.....
..@@@..@.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .....@....
..@.@@..@. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ......@...
....@@@..@ .......@..
....@.@@.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @.......@.
......@@@. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ @@.......@
@.....@.@@ .@@.......
.@......@@ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .@@@......
..@.....@. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .@.@@.....
...@...... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ...@@@....
....@..... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @..@.@@...
.....@.... @@...@@@..
......@... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ @@@..@.@@.
.......@.. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ @.@@...@@@
@.......@. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..@@@..@.@
@@.......@ ..@.@@...@
.@@....... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ....@@@..@
.@@@...... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ....@.@@..
.@.@@..... ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ......@@@.
...@@@.... ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ......@.@@
@..@.@@... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ........@@
@@...@@@.. ........@.
@@@..@.@@. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @.........
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.