RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&.&&&.&&.& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ...&.&&.&&
.&&..&&.&& ...&&&.&&.
.&.&.&.&&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &..&..&&.&
&&&&&&&&.& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&.&&.&.&&
........&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&.&&&&.
........&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &...&&...&
&.......&& &&..&.&..&
.&......&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &.&.&&&&.&
&&&.....&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&&&&...&&
...&....&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .&...&..&.
...&&...&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&&..&&.&&
&..&.&..&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&.&.&.&&.
&&.&&&&.&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..&&&&&&.&
..&&...&&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ..&.....&&
&.&.&..&.& &.&&....&.
&&&&&&.&&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&&.&...&&
......&&.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &..&&&..&.
......&.&. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&.&..&.&&
&.....&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&&.&&&.
&&....&... OPERATION. .....&&..&
..&...&&.. &....&.&.&
&.&&..&.&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&...&&&&&
.&&.&.&&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&&..&....
.&.&&&&... .&.&.&&...
.&&&...&.. »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» .&&&&&.&..
.&..&..&&. »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» .&....&&&.
.&&.&&.&.& .&&...&..&
&&.&&.&&&& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» .&.&..&&.&
..&&.&&... »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &&&&&.&.&&
&.&.&&.&.. »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» .....&&&&.
&&&&&.&&&. »»# AND AT EASE #»» &....&...&
.....&&..& &&...&&..&
&....&.&.& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ..&..&.&.&
.&...&&&&& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &.&&.&&&&&
&&&..&.... »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» .&&.&&....
&..&.&&... .&.&&.&...
&&.&&&.&.. »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» &&&&.&&&..
&.&&..&&&. »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &...&&..&.
&&&.&.&..& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &&..&.&.&&
...&&&&&.& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ..&.&&&&&.
...&....&& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &.&&&....&
&..&&...&. &&&..&...&
.&.&.&..&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ...&.&&..&
~~~»~ ~ »»~ ~ »~ ~»
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.