RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨#¨¨###¨# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ##¨#¨##¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨#¨#¨# ##¨¨¨###¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ###¨¨#¨##¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #¨##¨¨¨###
#¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨###¨¨#¨#
##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨#¨##¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨###¨¨#
¨###¨¨¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #¨¨¨#¨##¨¨
¨#¨##¨¨¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ##¨¨¨¨###¨
¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨##¨¨¨#¨##
#¨¨#¨##¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨###¨¨¨¨##
##¨¨¨###¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨#¨##¨¨¨#¨
###¨¨#¨##¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨
#¨##¨¨¨### COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨#¨##¨¨¨
¨¨###¨¨#¨# #¨¨¨¨###¨¨
¨¨#¨##¨¨¨# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ##¨¨¨#¨##¨
¨¨¨¨###¨¨# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ###¨¨¨¨###
#¨¨¨#¨##¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #¨##¨¨¨#¨#
##¨¨¨¨###¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨###¨¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨¨#¨## OPERATION. ¨¨#¨##¨¨¨#
¨###¨¨¨¨## #¨¨¨###¨¨¨
¨#¨##¨¨¨#¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨#¨¨#¨##¨¨
¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨#¨¨¨###¨
¨¨¨#¨##¨¨¨ ¨¨¨#¨¨#¨##
#¨¨¨¨###¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨##
##¨¨¨#¨##¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨#¨
###¨¨¨¨### #¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨
#¨##¨¨¨#¨# ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨
¨¨###¨¨¨¨# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨
¨¨#¨##¨¨¨# ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ #¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨#
#¨¨¨###¨¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨#¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨
¨#¨¨#¨##¨¨ ¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨¨
¨¨#¨¨¨###¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨## ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨
¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨## ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨#¨
¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨#¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨#
#¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨
¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨
¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ #¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#
#¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨# ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨#¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ###¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨¨ #¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨###¨¨¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.