RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&¨&¨¨&&& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨&¨&¨¨&&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ OPERATION. ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.