RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.##...##.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .#.##.##..
.###..###. ...##.###.
.#.##.#.## THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ...##.#.##
...##...## THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ...##...##
#..###..#. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #..###..##
##.#.##... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .#.#.##.#.
##...###.. .....##...
###..#.##. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .....###..
#.##...### THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .....#.##.
..###..#.# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #......##.
..#.##...# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .#.....###
#...###..# WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..#....#.#
##..#.##.. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #..#.....#
.##...###. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ##..#....#
.###..#.## ###..#....
.#.##...## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #.##..#...
...###..#. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ..###..#..
...#.##... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..#.##..#.
.....###.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #...###..#
#....#.##. OPERATION. ##..#.##..
.#.....### ###...###.
..#....#.# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #.##..#.##
#..#.....# NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..###...##
##..#....# ..#.##..#.
###..#.... ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ....###...
#.##..#... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ....#.##..
..###..#.. ......###.
..#.##..#. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #.....#.##
#...###..# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ##......##
##..#.##.. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ###.....#.
###...###. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ #.##......
#.##..#.## ..###.....
..###...## ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ..#.##....
..#.##..#. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ....###...
....###... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ....#.##..
....#.##.. ......###.
......###. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #.....#.##
#.....#.## ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .#......##
##......## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ..#.....#.
###.....#. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ...#......
#.##...... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ #...#.....
..###..... .#...#....
..#.##.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..#...#...
:::~: : ~~: : ~: :~
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.