RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ======================================== @@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨@@@@@@@ ¨@¨¨@@@@@@
¨@¨¨@@@@@@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨@@@@¨
¨¨¨¨¨@@@@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨@@@¨¨@@¨¨
@@@@¨¨@@@@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨@
@@@¨¨¨¨@@@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @¨¨¨@@@@¨¨
¨@¨¨@@¨¨@@ ¨¨@¨¨@@¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@
¨@@@@@@@¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @@@@@@@¨¨¨
¨¨@@@@@¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @@@@@@¨¨@@
¨¨¨@@@¨¨@@ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @@@@@¨¨¨¨¨
@@¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @@@@¨¨@@@@
@¨¨¨¨¨@@@@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@@¨¨¨¨@@@
¨¨@@@¨¨@@¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨@¨¨@@¨¨@@
¨¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
@@¨¨¨@@@@¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨@@@@@@@@@
@¨¨@¨¨@@¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨@@@@@@@@
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨@@@@@@@
¨@@@@@@@@@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @@¨¨@@@@@¨
¨¨@@@@@@@¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨
@¨¨@@@@@¨¨ @@@@¨¨@¨¨@
¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
@@@¨¨@¨¨@@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @@¨¨@@@@@@
@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@ @¨¨¨¨@@@@@
@¨¨@@@@@¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨¨@@¨¨@@@@
¨¨¨¨@@@¨¨@ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@
¨@@¨¨@¨¨¨¨ @@@@@@¨¨@¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨@@@@¨¨¨¨¨
@@@@@@¨¨@@ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨¨@@¨¨@@@@
@@@@@¨¨¨¨¨ ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== @¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@
@@@@¨¨@@@@ ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨¨@@@@¨¨@@
@@@¨¨¨¨@@¨ ¨¨¨@@¨¨¨¨@
@@¨¨@@¨¨¨¨ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== @@¨¨¨¨@@¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@¨ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== ¨¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨
@@@@@@¨¨¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== @@¨¨¨¨@@@@
@@@@@¨¨@@¨ @¨¨@@¨¨@@@
@@@@¨¨¨¨¨¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@
@@@¨¨@@@@@ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== @@@@@@@¨¨@
@@¨¨¨¨@@@@ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== @@@@@@¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨@@¨¨@@@ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== @@@@@¨¨@@¨
@@¨¨¨¨¨¨@@ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== @@@@¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨@@@@¨¨@ @@@¨¨@@@@¨
@@¨¨@@¨¨¨¨ ======================================== @@¨¨¨¨@@¨¨
:::=: : ==: : =: :=
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.