RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨& OPERATION. &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨& &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
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: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.