RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
....#.##.# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .#..##...#
#...###.## ###.#.#..#
.#..#..##. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #..#####.#
###.##.#.# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .#.#....##
...##.#### ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #####...#.
...#.##... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #....#..##
#..###.#.. .#...##.#.
##.#..###. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .##..#.###
..###.#..# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .#.#.###..
..#..###.# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .#####..#.
..##.#..## THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ##....#.##
#.#.###.#. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE #.#...###.
#####..### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .###..#..#
.....#.#.. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .#..#.##.#
#....####. ###.###.##
.#...#...# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ...##..##.
.##..##..# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...#.#.#.#
##.#.#.#.# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #..#######
..######## WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .#.#......
..#....... OPERATION. #####.....
..##...... #....#....
..#.#..... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ##...##...
..####.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..#..#.#..
..#...#... #.##.####.
..##..##.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .##.##...#
#.#.#.#.#. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .#.##.#..#
.######### .###.###.#
##........ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .#..##..##
..#....... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .##.#.#.#.
..##...... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ##.#######
#.#.#..... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ..##......
######.... #.#.#.....
#.....#... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ######....
##....##.. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ......#...
#.#...#.#. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ......##..
####..#### ......#.#.
#...#.#... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #.....####
.#..####.. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .#....#...
.##.#...#. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ###...##..
.#.###..## ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ...#..#.#.
.###..#.#. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ...##.####
##..#.#### #..#.##...
#.#.###... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .#.###.#..
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
. . ยง .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.