RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨&¨&&¨&&&
&¨¨&&&&&&& &&&&&¨&&¨¨
&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨&¨&&¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨&&&&&¨&¨¨ &¨&¨¨&&¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨&&&&¨&
¨&&&¨¨&&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨&¨&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&&&&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨&¨&¨&&
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&&&&&¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&&¨¨¨¨&
&&&¨¨&&¨¨& &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨&&&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&&¨&&&&&
&&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. &&&¨&¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&&&&&¨¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&&¨&&&&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨&&¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨& ¨¨&&¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨¨&¨&&&¨&&
&¨¨¨&&&&¨& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &¨&&&¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨&¨¨¨&& ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨&¨&¨&&&&&
&¨&&&¨&¨&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&&&&&¨¨¨¨
&&&¨¨&&&&¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨& ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&&¨&&&&¨¨& &&&¨¨¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&¨& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨¨&¨¨&&&&
¨&&¨&¨¨&&& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨&&&¨&¨¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨¨¨&¨&&&¨¨
¨&&&¨¨&&&¨ &¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &&¨&¨¨&¨&&
&&&¨&&&&¨& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ¨¨&&&¨&&&¨
&¨¨&&¨¨¨&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &¨&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&&&¨&¨&¨&
&&&&&&&¨&& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ &¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.