RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..@.@..@.. ======================================== .@@.@@@..@
@....@..@. .@@.@.@@..
.@....@..@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .@@...@@@.
..@....@.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .@@@..@.@@
@..@....@. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .@.@@...@@
@@..@....@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ...@@@..@.
@@@..@.... ...@.@@...
@.@@..@... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .....@@@..
..@@@..@.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .....@.@@.
..@.@@..@. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .......@@@
@...@@@..@ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @......@.@
@@..@.@@.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @@.......@
.@@...@@@. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .@@......@
.@@@..@.@@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .@@@......
.@.@@...@@ .@.@@.....
...@@@..@. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ...@@@....
...@.@@... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...@.@@...
.....@@@.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .....@@@..
.....@.@@. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @....@.@@.
.......@@@ OPERATION. .@.....@@@
@......@.@ ..@....@.@
@@.......@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...@.....@
.@@......@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ....@....@
.@@@...... .....@....
.@.@@..... ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ......@...
...@@@.... ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== .......@..
...@.@@... @.......@.
.....@@@.. ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== @@.......@
@....@.@@. ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== .@@.......
.@.....@@@ ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== .@@@......
..@....@.@ ==# AND AT EASE #== .@.@@.....
...@.....@ ...@@@....
....@....@ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== @..@.@@...
.....@.... ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== @@...@@@..
......@... ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== @@@..@.@@.
.......@.. @.@@...@@@
@.......@. ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ..@@@..@.@
@@.......@ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ..@.@@...@
.@@....... ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ....@@@..@
.@@@...... ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ....@.@@..
.@.@@..... ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ......@@@.
...@@@.... ......@.@@
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.