RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& OPERATION. ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&& &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.