§,§,,,,§§§                                          ,§,§§§§§§,
§§§§,,,§,,                                          §§§§,,,,,§
,,,,§,,§§,                                          §,,,§,,,,§
§,,,§§,§,§                                          §§,,§§,,,§
,§,,§,§§§§                                          ,,§,§,§,,§
§§§,§§§,,,             #,,,~~~~~~~~,,,#             §,§§§§§§,§
,,,§§,,§,,      ####,~~ FERMI'S PARADOX ~~,####     §§§,,,,,§§
§,,§,§,§§,             #,,,~~~~~~~~,,,#             ,,,§,,,,§,
§§,§§§§§,§                                          §,,§§,,,§§
,,§§,,,,§§ ON  EARTH  (THE  PLANET WHERE I  LIVE) A ,§,§,§,,§,
,,§,§,,,§, LOT OF US  HAVE  ANTENNAS ON OUR  HOUSES §§§§§§§,§§
§,§§§§,,§§ OR  BALCONIES,  WE   HAVE   BUILT  LARGE ,,,,,,,§§,
§§§,,,§,§, ANTENNAS  FOR LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE HAVE ,,,,,,,§,§
,,,§,,§§§§     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      §,,,,,,§§§
§,,§§,§,,,   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    §§,,,,,§,,
§§,§,§§§,, INTO ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT LARGE  AS  FUCK ,,§,,,,§§,
§,§§§§,,§,              ANTENNA ARRAYS              ,,§§,,,§,§
,§§,,,§,§§ WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN  ANTENNA WITH A §,§,§,,§§§
§§,§,,§§§,          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         §§§§§§,§,,
§,§§§,§,,§                                          §,,,,,§§§,
§§§,,§§§,§ WE'VE  LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE §§,,,,§,,§
,,,§,§,,§§      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     §,§,,,§§,§
§,,§§§§,§, PLACEMENT  IN  THE   GALAXY,   AND   OUR ,§§§,,§,§§
,§,§,,,§§§ GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN  THE LOCAL CLUSTER, §§,,§,§§§,
,§§§§,,§,, AND ~OUR~  LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE IN  THE ,,§,§§§,,§
§§,,,§,§§,          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          ,,§§§,,§,§
,,§,,§§§,§                                          ,,§,,§,§§§
§,§§,§,,§§ AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT ,,§§,§§§,,
§§§,§§§,§, VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING  AROUND THE ,,§,§§,,§,
§,,§§,,§§§ CENTER  OF THE  GALAXY AT  VELOCITY  AND ,,§§§,§,§§
,§,§,§,§,, THE  GALAXY  IS MOVING  TOWARD ANDROMEDA ,,§,,§§§§,
,§§§§§§§§,   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    ,,§§,§,,,§
§§,,,,,,,§ AROUND THE  GALAXY.  AND WE AS A SPECIES §,§,§§§,,§
,,§,,,,,,§ HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT ,§§§§,,§,§
§,§§,,,,,§                                          §§,,,§,§§§
,§§,§,,,,§ AND DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL  OUR §,§,,§§§,,
,§,§§§,,,§    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   ,§§§,§,,§,
,§§§,,§,,§ RADIO PROGRAMMES OUT  IN  FUCKING  SPACE §§,,§§§,§§
§§,,§,§§,§ AT  THE  SPEED  OF LIGHT  (LIGHT IS  OUR ,,§,§,,§§,
§,§,§§§,§§ MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  §,§§§§,§,§
,§§§§,,§§,      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      ,§§,,,§§§§
§§,,,§,§,§     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     ,§,§,,§,,,
§,§,,§§§§§   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    §§§§§,§§,,
§§§§,§,,,, BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN EVERY ,,,,,§§,§,
§,,,§§§,,,          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          §,,,,§,§§§
,§,,§,,§,,                                          ,§,,,§§§,,
,§§,§§,§§, NO    ,   ONE    ,    HAS   ,   ANSWERED §§§,,§,,§,
,§,§§,§§,§                                          §,,§,§§,§§
§§§§,§§,§§             #,,,~~~~~~~~,,,#             §§,§§§,§§,
§,,,§§,§§,      ####,~~ FERMI'S PARADOX ~~,####     ,,§§,,§§,§
,§,,§,§§,§             #,,,~~~~~~~~,,,#             ,,§,§,§,§§
§§§,§§§,§§                                          ,,§§§§§§§,
§,,§§,,§§,              SO WHY IS THAT?             ,,§,,,,,,§
,§,§,§,§,§                                          ,,§§,,,,,§
§§§§§§§§§§ MOST OPPONENTS  TO  INTELLIGENT  LIFE IN ,,§,§,,,,§
,,,,,,,,,, THE UNIVERSE  SAY IT'S  BECAUSE YOU NEED ,,§§§§,,,§
§,,,,,,,,, A  CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER STAR AND  THE ,,§,,,§,,§
,§,,,,,,,, PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO ,,§§,,§§,§
§§§,,,,,,, DISTANCE  AWAY FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE §,§,§,§,§§
,,,§,,,,,,           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           §§§§§§§§§,
,,,§§,,,,,                                          §,,,,,,,,§
§,,§,§,,,, BUT   REALLY   ISN'T  THAT  KEEPING  THE §§,,,,,,,§
,§,§§§§,,,      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      §,§,,,,,,§
§§§§,,,§,,                                          §§§§,,,,,§
,,,,§,,§§, I THINK EVERYONE  AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO §,,,§,,,,§
§,,,§§,§,§ IDEA WHAT WE'RE DOING  (AND  IT PROBABLY §§,,§§,,,§
,§,,§,§§§§                  SHOWS)                  ,,§,§,§,,§
§§§,§§§,,,                                          §,§§§§§§,§
,,,§§,,§,,             #,,,~~~~~~~~,,,#             §§§,,,,,§§
§,,§,§,§§,      ####,~~ FERMI'S PARADOX ~~,####     ,,,§,,,,§,
§§,§§§§§,§             #,,,~~~~~~~~,,,#             §,,§§,,,§§
,,§§,,,,§§                                          ,§,§,§,,§,
,,§,§,,,§, I'M GONNA GO SMOKE  MY  THIRD  CIGARETTE §§§§§§§,§§
§,§§§§,,§§ THIS YEAR  AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS ,,,,,,,§§,
§§§,,,§,§,        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING         ,,,,,,,§,§
,,,§,,§§§§                                          §,,,,,,§§§
§,,§§,§,,,                                          §§,,,,,§,,
§§,§,§§§,,                                          ,,§,,,,§§,
§,§§§§,,§,                                          ,,§§,,,§,§
,§§,,,§,§§                                          §,§,§,,§§§