dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely  calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to  piece   together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and   i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over my vision,  pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can  feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language,  sentences i can't hide  from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i realize  i  can't hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic  in it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my  surroundings are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief, such  is my  nature. turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but  time  does - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything of  this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you wander  too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a prick  on  the nose,  that's 
 what these are. like you  do with a  cat 
 who comes  to  close to your sandwich...