dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,   and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece  together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits   me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and  crosses inscribed 
 all  over  my vision, pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i can  feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my mind. it's  like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in my mind,  and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then i realize  i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless, but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the  floor searching 
 relief,  such  is my nature. turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but time  does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense  though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what   to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you wander  too far, 
 i  guess?  i shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a  prick on the  nose, that's 
 what these are. like you do  with  a cat 
 who comes to  close to  your sandwich...