dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything is completely  calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece   together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then   the  fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are  circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my  vision, pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i can  feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding  trenches in my mind. it's like 
 language,  sentences  i can't hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in my mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize i can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless, but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief,  such is my  nature. turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting... but  time  does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of  this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen if  you  wander too far, 
 i guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine  a prick on  the nose,  that's 
 what  these are. like you do with a  cat 
 who comes  to close  to your sandwich...