4B FUB1NACA          
                                    
                                          
                       
           4 C4NNAB1NOID            
                       
                                          
 1ND3ED  4 C4NNAB1NOID,  4B FUB1NACA 1S 4 
 L4ST  R3SORT  FOR  FORS4K3N  P3OPLE.  1T 
   4LT3RS YOUR M3T4PHYS1CAL TR4J3CTORY,   
 WH1CH 4BOLUT3LY  DOOMS  YOU  SHOULD  YOU 
 NOT  4LR3ADY  B3   SO.  1T  4LT3RS  YOUR 
 SL3EP,  M4K3S 1T  DUSTY 4ND  FR4GM3NTED, 
 V4POUROUS.. UNT1L,  W1TH 4  H1GH  3NOUGH 
    DOS4G3, 1T 1S COMPL3TELY C4UT3R1ZED   
            FROM YOUR BODY...             
                                          
 1T'S  4N 3V1L, 4L13N  W3ED H1GH, TR4D1NG 
 YOUR  T1M3  FOR  4  SH4RP3R  V1SION,  SO 
 SH4RP  1T  CUTS R1GHT  THROUGH YOUR 3YES 
           4ND 1NTO YOUR BR41N.           
                                          
  YOUR MUSCL3S 4R3 RYTHM1C4LLY S3VERED,   
  MOM3NT4R1LY LOS1NG 4LL CONN3CT1ON W1TH  
 TH3 N3RVOUS  SYST3M, 4ND WH3N TH3 STR1NG 
    SN4PS TH3Y K3EP TH31R TR4J3CTORY,     
 MOV1NG UNTH1NKINGLY 1N  4 STR41GHT L1N3. 
 YOU  M4Y  4DJUST  TH31R D1R3CTION  M4YB3 
 ONC3  4 S3COND.  3VERYTH1NG  H4PP3NS  1N 
 CHUNKS,  D3L1VERED TO  YOUR S3NSES 4FT3R 
 TH3  F4CT.   (1T'S  SOM3WH4T   H4RD   TO 
            BR34THE L1K3 TH1S)            
                                          
                                    
               T1NY R3PORT                
                                    
                                          
  L4T3R 1'LL B3 F1N3, BUT 1'M SO D4MN    
   H1GH ON TH3 FUUB SH1T. SP4C3 FL1GHT    
  NOW B4CK L4T3R, DW3LL1NG. 1'M SO       
   H1GH TH4T 1T SOM3HOW HURTS. 4LSO F3ELS 
   4S L1K3 TH3 3YES 4R3 COMPL3TELY DRY    
  SOM3 SH1T, NOW NOT SO H1GH.            
                  W3LL, W3 FUCK3D SH1T UP 
  NOW 3VEN MOR3 SOB3R. 1 W4S SC4R3D      
   B3FORE. 4B-FUCK 1S 3V1L 4ND TOX1C      
   WH3N YOU'R3 R34LLY US1NG 1T. 1T ONLY   
   L4STS FOR L1K3 FOURTY M1NUT3S THOUGH.  
  1T S3EMS SO ... R34LLY W31RD STUFF!    
  4 L1TTL3 MOR3 SOB3R NOW 4ND 1'M SO     
   D4MN T1R3D. F3ELS L1K3 TWO, THR3E      
   Y34RS 4GO TH4T 1 GOT STUCK 1N TH1S     
   FUB1N4CA H1GH, STUCK 1N ON3 4ND STUCK  
   TH3RE B3C4USE ... F3ELS TH4T W4Y. 1N   
   MY BR41N.                              
  SO D4MN QU13T OUT TH3RE. 4ND           
   B34UT1FUL, 4ND CUT3, 4ND. 4AAAHHHH.    
   ROBOT1C SO4R1NG. BODY R3MODEL. T41L    
  MY 3YES H4V3 CR13D OUT TH3 4L13N       
   SUBST4NC3 4ND 1'M SOM3HOW B4CK 4T MY   
   B4S3L1NE..? 1 NO LONG3R B3L1EVE 1      
   H4V3 B3EN D4MAG3D, 4T 4LL