dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything is completely calm  and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me   and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision,  pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel  them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my  mind. it's like 
 language,  sentences i can't hide  from, 
 forcefully transcribed in my  mind,  and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i realize  i  can't hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl  on the floor searching 
 relief, such is my nature.  turning  the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but time  does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything of this  happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are  still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine  a prick on the  nose, that's 
 what these are.  like you do with a  cat 
 who comes  to close to your  sandwich...