RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&....&&.. ---------------------------------------- .&&&......
&&...&.&.. &..&......
.&..&&&&.& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &.&&.....&
&&.&...&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&.&....&&
.&&&..&..& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&&&...&..
&..&.&&.&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &..&..&&..
&.&&&.&&&. &.&&.&.&.&
&&..&&..&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&.&&&&&&.
.&.&.&.&.& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&&.....&&
&&&&&&&&&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &.&....&.&
........&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&...&&&.
.......&.& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..&..&..&.
......&&&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&&.&&.&&.
.....&.... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &.&&.&&.&.
....&&...& &&.&&.&&&.
...&.&..&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&.&&..&.
..&&&&.&.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &.&&.&.&&.
.&...&&&.& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&.&&&&.&.
&&..&..&&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&&...&&&.
.&.&&.&.&. OPERATION. &.&..&..&&
&&&.&&&&&. &&&.&&.&.&
..&&....&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..&&.&&&&.
.&.&...&&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&.&&...&.
&&&&..&.&. &&&.&..&&.
...&.&&&&. --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ..&&&.&.&&
..&&&...&& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- .&..&&&&.&
.&..&..&.& &&.&...&&&
&&.&&.&&&. --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- .&&&..&..&
.&&.&&..&& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &..&.&&.&.
&.&&.&.&.. --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &.&&&.&&&.
&&.&&&&&.& --# AND AT EASE #-- &&..&&..&&
.&&....&&& .&.&.&.&..
&.&...&... --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &&&&&&&&..
&&&..&&... --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- .......&.&
..&.&.&..& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ......&&&.
.&&&&&&.&. .....&..&.
&.....&&&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ....&&.&&.
&....&...& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ...&.&&.&&
&...&&..&& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ..&&&.&&..
&..&.&.&.. --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- .&..&&.&.&
&.&&&&&&.& --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &&.&.&&&&.
&&.....&&& .&&&&...&&
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:::-: : --: : -: :-
: :: : : . :. .
. . † .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.