RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&&&¨&¨&¨&
&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ &&¨¨&&&&&&
¨&¨&&¨&&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&&¨&&¨&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&&¨&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨&&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&&&¨&¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨
¨&&&¨¨¨&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&&¨&&&&
&&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨&&&¨&¨¨
&&&&&¨&&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&¨¨&&&¨
&¨¨¨¨&&¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&&&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨¨¨&¨&&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨&
&&&¨¨&&&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&¨¨&¨¨&&
¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&& &¨¨&¨&&¨&¨
¨¨¨&&&&¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&&&¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&&¨¨&&¨¨
&&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
¨&&¨&&&&¨& OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&& &¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&&¨&¨¨&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&&&¨&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&¨&&&&¨¨
¨&&¨&¨¨&&¨ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨
¨&¨&&&¨&¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨&¨¨&¨¨&&
&&&&¨¨&&&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&&&¨&&¨&¨
&¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ &¨¨¨&&¨&&&
¨&¨¨&&&&¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&&¨&¨¨¨&¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&&¨&&&¨&¨
¨&¨&&&¨¨&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨&&¨¨&&&
&&&&¨¨&¨&¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨&¨&&&& ¨&¨&&&&&&¨
&&¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨&&&&¨&&¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&¨& ¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨&
&&¨&¨¨&¨&& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨&¨&&&¨&
¨¨&&&¨&&&¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &¨¨&&&¨¨&&
&¨&¨¨&&¨¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&&&&¨&¨&¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨&&&¨&&&&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨&&&¨&¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&¨¨&&&&&¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.