RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨§§§§§¨¨
§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨ §§¨¨§§§¨¨§
¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN §¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨§§¨¨¨§§§
¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§§ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§§
¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. §§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨ §§§¨¨§§§§§
§§§¨¨§§§§§ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING §§¨¨¨¨§§§§
§§¨¨¨¨§§§¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH §¨¨§§¨¨§§§
§¨¨§§¨¨§¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM §§§§§§§¨¨§
¨§§§§§§§§§ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §§§§§§¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§§§§§§¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE §§§§§¨¨§§§
¨¨¨§§§§§¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §§§§¨¨¨¨§¨
§§¨¨§§§¨¨¨ ¨§§¨¨§§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§§ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨
§§§§¨¨¨¨¨§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨§§§§§§¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨§§§¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨§§§§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE §¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§¨¨¨§§ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§
§§§§¨¨§¨¨¨ §§§§§¨¨§§§
§§§¨¨¨¨¨§§ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY §§§§¨¨¨¨§§
§§¨¨§§§¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨§§¨¨§§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨§¨¨§§ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» §§§§§§§§§¨
§¨¨¨¨§§§§§ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» §§§§§§§§¨¨
¨¨§§¨¨§§§¨ §§§§§§§¨¨¨
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» §§§§§§¨¨§§
¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» §§§§§¨¨¨¨§
¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» §§§§¨¨§§¨¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ »»# AND AT EASE #»» §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨§§§§¨¨§ §§¨¨§§§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» §¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨
§§§¨¨¨¨§§§ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§§
§§¨¨§§¨¨§§ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» §¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§§§§§¨¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§¨
§¨¨§§§§¨¨§ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» §§§§¨¨§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§¨¨¨¨§§§ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» §§¨¨§§§§§§
§§¨¨§§¨¨§¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ §§§§¨¨§§§§
¨¨§§§§§§§§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨§§¨¨¨¨§§§
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.