RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.#......## »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ##...#...#
##.....#.. .#..##..##
.#....##.. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ##.#.#.#..
##...#.#.# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .#######..
.#..###### ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #......#.#
##.#...... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #.....####
.###...... #....#....
#..#...... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #...##....
#.##...... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #..#.#...#
##.#.....# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #.####..#.
.###....#. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ##...#.###
#..#...### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .#..###..#
#.##..#... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ##.#..#.#.
##.#.##... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .###.#####
.####.#..# #..##.....
#...###.## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #.#.#.....
#..#..##.# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #####....#
#.##.#.##. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ....#...#.
##.####.## WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ...##..###
.##...##.# OPERATION. ..#.#.#...
#.#..#.##. .######...
###.###.#. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #.....#..#
..##..#### NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: #....##.#.
.#.#.#.... #...#.###.
######.... »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» #..###..#.
.....#...# »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» #.#..#.###
....##..## ###.###..#
...#.#.#.. »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ..##..#.##
..######.# »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» .#.#.###.#
.#.....### »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» #####..###
##....#... »»# AND AT EASE #»» ....#.#..#
.#...##..# ...####.#.
##..#.#.#. »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ..#...###.
.#.####### »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» .##..#..##
###......# »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» #.#.##.#.#
..#.....## ####.####.
.##....#.. »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ...##...#.
#.#...##.. »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ..#.#..##.
###..#.#.. »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» .####.#.##
..#.####.# »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» #...####..
.###...##. »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» #..#...#..
#..#..#.#. #.##..##..
#.##.####. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ##.#.#.#.#
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.