RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.....&.... «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &....&....
&&&&...&&& ..&&...&&&
&&&..&..&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .....&..&&
&&.......& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&&.....&
&..&&&&&.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&..&&&..
....&&&..& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&....&...
&&&..&.... &..&&...&&
&&.....&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ......&..&
&..&&&..&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&&.....
....&....& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .&&&..&&&.
&&&...&&.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&....&..
.&..&..... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ....&&....
......&&&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&....&&&
.&&&&..&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&..&&..&.
..&&....&. &.........
&....&&... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..&&&&&&&&
..&&....&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &..&&&&&&&
.....&&..& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ....&&&&&.
&&&&...... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&..&&&..
.&&..&&&&. OPERATION. .&....&...
......&&.. ...&&...&&
.&&&&....& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&....&...
..&&..&&.. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &..&&...&&
.........& ......&...
&&&&&&&&.. ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&&&&...&&
&&&&&&&... ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« .&&&..&..&
&&&&&&..&& ..&.......
.&&&&..... ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ....&&&&&.
..&&..&&&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&&..&&&..
&......&&. ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« .&....&..&
..&&&&.... ««# AND AT EASE #«« ...&&.....
&..&&..&&& .&....&&&&
........&& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ...&&..&&&
.&&&&&&..& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &&......&.
..&&&&.... ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &..&&&&...
&..&&..&&& ....&&..&&
........&& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« .&&......&
.&&&&&&... ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ....&&&&..
..&&&&..&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« .&&..&&..&
...&&..... ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ..........
&&....&&&& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« .&&&&&&&&&
&..&&..&&& ..&&&&&&&&
........&& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ...&&&&&&&
...«. . ««. . «. .«
. .. . . . .. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.