RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨& ======================================== &¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨&&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨&¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨&& ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ OPERATION. &¨&&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨& &¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== &&¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨&&¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&&& ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨& ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&¨&& ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨&& ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&& ======================================== ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
,,,=, , ==, , =, ,=
, ,, , , ¨ ,¨ ¨
¨ ¨ ^ ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.