RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&&&&&¨¨&¨
&&&&&&¨¨¨& ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨&¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&&&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&&&¨¨¨&
¨¨&&¨¨&&&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨&¨¨&&&¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨&¨¨&&&&
&&&&&&¨¨&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&&¨¨&&
&&&&¨¨&&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&&¨¨¨¨&
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& ¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨¨&&&&&&
¨&&&&&&&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨&¨¨&&&&¨
¨¨&&&&&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&& &¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨&&&&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&&&&&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&& ¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨&&&& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&&
&&&¨¨¨¨&&¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨&&&&
&&&&&¨¨&&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&&&&¨¨¨¨&& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&&
&&&¨¨&&¨¨& &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&&&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨&&&&&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨&&&&
&¨¨¨¨&&&&¨ &&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&&&&¨¨&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&&&&&&&&¨ ¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.