RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨¨¨&&¨¨¨&
&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨& ¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨&
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&¨&&&&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨¨¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨&&¨¨¨&&
¨&&&¨&&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨&&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&&&&&&¨&&
&&&¨&¨&&&& ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
&¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&¨&¨¨¨&&&
&&&&&¨¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&&&¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
&&¨¨¨&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨¨¨&&&¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨¨&¨¨&&
&¨&&¨&&¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&¨¨&&¨&¨
&&&¨&&¨&¨¨ ¨¨&&¨&¨&&&
¨¨¨&&¨&&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&¨&&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&&&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&¨¨&¨¨&&
&¨¨&¨¨&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&&¨&&¨&¨¨¨ OPERATION. &&&&&&¨&&&
¨¨&&¨&&&¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨¨¨¨&¨&¨
¨¨&&&¨&¨&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨¨¨&&&&
&¨&¨¨&&&&¨ ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨
&&&&¨&¨¨¨& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨¨&¨&&&¨&¨
&&¨¨&¨¨&¨& &¨&&&¨¨&&&
¨¨&¨&&¨&&& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &&&¨¨&¨&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨&&¨¨ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« ¨¨¨&¨&&&&¨
¨¨&¨¨&&¨&¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &¨¨&&&¨¨¨&
&¨&&¨&¨&&& ««# AND AT EASE #«« &&¨&¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&¨&&&&¨¨ ¨¨&&&¨&&¨&
&&¨&&¨¨¨&¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &¨&¨¨&&¨&&
¨¨&&¨&¨¨&& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨&&&¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&&¨&¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨&¨¨&&&&¨&
&¨&&&¨¨&&& ¨&&¨&¨¨¨&&
¨&&¨¨&¨&¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &&¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&&&&¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ¨¨&&¨¨&¨&&
&&&&&&¨¨¨& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &¨&¨&¨&&&¨
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ¨&&&&&&¨¨&
¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&&¨¨¨&¨&& ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨¨&¨¨&&&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨
~~~«~ ~ ««~ ~ «~ ~«
~ ~~ ~ ~ ¨ ~¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.