RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&&&&.&.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&.&&&&&.&
&&....&&&. &.&&....&&
..&...&..& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&&.&...&.
..&&..&&.& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&.&&&..&&
&.&.&.&.&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &.&&..&.&.
&&&&&&&&&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&.&.&&&&
.........& ...&&&&...
.........& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &..&...&..
.........& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&.&&..&&.
.........& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&&.&.&.&
&........& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &...&&&&&&
.&.......& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&..&.....
.&&......& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &.&.&&....
.&.&.....& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&&.&...
.&&&&....& &....&&&..
.&...&...& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&...&..&.
.&&..&&..& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&..&&.&&
&&.&.&.&.& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &..&.&.&&.
&.&&&&&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&.&&&&&.&
.&&....... OPERATION. ..&&....&&
&&.&...... &.&.&...&.
&.&&&..... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&&&&&..&&
.&&..&.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&....&.&.
.&.&.&&... &.&...&&&&
&&&&&&.&.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .&&&..&...
&.....&&&. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .&..&.&&..
&&....&..& .&&.&&&.&.
&.&...&&.& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&.&&..&&&
.&&&..&.&& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ..&&.&.&..
.&..&.&&&. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ..&.&&&&&.
.&&.&&&..& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ..&&&....&
&&.&&..&.& ..&..&...&
..&&.&.&&& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &.&&.&&..&
&.&.&&&&.. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&.&&.&.&
.&&&&...&. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ...&&.&&&&
&&...&..&& &..&.&&...
&.&..&&.&. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&.&&&.&..
&&&&.&.&&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &.&&..&&&.
&...&&&&.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&&.&.&..&
.&..&...&. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &..&&&&&.&
&&&.&&..&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&.&....&&
...&&.&.&. &.&&&...&.
...&.&&&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&..&..&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.