RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& OPERATION. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# AND AT EASE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨&¨&¨& »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
...». . »». . ». .»
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.