RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&&¨¨¨&&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ¨¨¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ OPERATION. ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
---«- - ««- - «- -«
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.