RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
......#... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..#..#....
#####...#. .......###
####..#... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ######..##
###.....## THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #####....#
##..###..# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .###..##..
.....#.... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..#.......
####...##. #...######
###..#.... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ..#..#####
##.....### THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #.....####
#..###..## IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..###..###
....#....# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ...#....##
.##...##.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ##...##...
....#..... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ...#....##
.##...#### COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ##...##...
....#..##. #..#....##
.##....... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .....##...
....###### CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ####....##
.##..##### COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ###..##...
......#### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .#......##
.####..### OPERATION. ...####...
..##....#. .#..##..##
.....##... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..........
####....#. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##########
###..##... ##########
##......## ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ##########
#..####..# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ##########
....##.... .#########
.##....##. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ..#######.
....##.... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ...#####..
###....### ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ##..###..#
##..##..## ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ #....#....
.......... ..##...##.
########## ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #....#....
.########. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ..##...##.
..######.. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ #....#....
#..####..# ..##...###
....##.... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #....#..##
.##....##. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..##......
....##.... ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ #....#####
.##....##. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..##..###.
....##.... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ #......#..
###....### ..####...#
##..##..## ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #..##..#..
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.