RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&...&&.. «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« .&.....&.&
&.&..&.&.. &&....&&&&
&&&.&&&&.& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&...&....
..&&...&&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&..&&...&
.&.&..&.&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&.&.&..&&
&&&&.&&&.& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&&.&.&
...&&..&&. .....&&&&.
..&.&.&.&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ....&...&.
.&&&&&&&.& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...&&..&&.
&......&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..&.&.&.&.
&.....&..& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&&&&&&&&&
&....&&.&. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &.........
&...&.&&&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &........&
&..&&&...& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &.......&.
&.&..&..&. &......&&&
&&&.&&.&&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &.....&...
..&&.&&.&. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &....&&..&
.&.&&.&&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &...&.&.&&
&&&.&&...& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &..&&&&&.&
..&&.&..&& OPERATION. &.&....&&.
.&.&&&.&.. &&&...&.&.
&&&..&&&.& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..&..&&&&.
..&.&..&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .&&.&...&&
.&&&&.&..& &.&&&..&.&
&...&&&.&. ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&..&.&&&&
&..&..&&&. ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« .&.&&&....
&.&&.&..&. &&&..&...&
&&.&&&.&&& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ..&.&&..&.
.&&..&&..& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« .&&&.&.&&&
&.&.&.&.&& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &..&&&&..&
&&&&&&&&.& ««# AND AT EASE #«« &.&...&.&.
.......&&& &&&..&&&&&
......&..& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ..&.&....&
.....&&.&& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« .&&&&...&&
....&.&&.. ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &...&..&.&
...&&&.&.. &..&&.&&&&
..&..&&&.& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &.&.&&...&
.&&.&..&&. ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&&&.&..&&
&.&&&.&.&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ...&&&.&.&
&&..&&&&.& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ..&..&&&&.
.&.&...&&. ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« .&&.&...&&
&&&&..&.&. &.&&&..&.&
...&.&&&&. «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&..&.&&&.
:::«: : ««: : «: :«
: :: : : . :. .
. . $ .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.