RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨¨&¨&&¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&&¨&&&¨&
&¨&&&¨&&&¨ ¨¨¨&&¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨&&¨¨&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&&&&&&¨¨
&&&&&&&&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨&¨&&&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨&¨¨&¨&&
¨¨¨&&&&&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&&¨&&&¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨&&¨¨&&&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&¨&¨&¨¨&
&¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&&&&&¨&&
&&&¨¨¨&¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&&&¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨¨&&&&&&
&¨&&&¨&&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨&&¨&¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨&¨&¨&&&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&&
&&&&&¨¨&&& OPERATION. ¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
¨¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&&¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&¨&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨&&&&&¨&¨
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨&¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& &&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨&&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨&¨¨& &¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&¨&&&&&¨&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &¨&&&&¨¨¨&
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨¨&&¨&&& ¨&¨¨&&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&&¨¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&¨&¨&&¨&&
&&&&&¨&¨&¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&&&&¨&&¨&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨¨¨&&¨&&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &¨¨&¨&&¨&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &¨&&&¨&&&¨
¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ &&¨¨&&¨¨&¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.