RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#¨¨####¨#¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨########
¨#¨#¨¨¨### ###¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨####¨¨#¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨#¨¨¨#¨##¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨#¨##¨¨¨¨¨
¨##¨¨###¨# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ####¨#¨¨¨¨
¨#¨#¨#¨¨## CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #¨¨¨###¨¨¨
¨######¨#¨ ¨#¨¨#¨¨#¨¨
¨#¨¨¨¨¨### MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨##¨##¨##¨
¨##¨¨¨¨#¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ##¨##¨##¨#
##¨#¨¨¨##¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #¨##¨##¨##
¨¨###¨¨#¨# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨##¨##¨##¨
¨¨#¨¨#¨### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ##¨##¨##¨#
#¨##¨###¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #¨##¨##¨##
¨##¨##¨¨#¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ###¨##¨##¨
¨#¨##¨#¨## #¨¨##¨##¨#
####¨####¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ##¨#¨##¨##
¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨####¨##¨
¨¨¨¨#¨#¨¨# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨#¨¨¨##¨#
#¨¨¨####¨# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨##¨¨#¨##
¨#¨¨#¨¨¨## OPERATION. ¨¨#¨#¨###¨
¨##¨##¨¨#¨ ¨¨#####¨¨#
##¨##¨#¨## SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #¨#¨¨¨¨#¨#
¨¨##¨####¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ####¨¨¨###
#¨#¨##¨¨¨# ¨¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨
#####¨#¨¨# ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨##¨##¨
#¨¨¨¨###¨# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ #¨¨¨#¨##¨#
¨#¨¨¨#¨¨## ¨#¨¨###¨##
###¨¨##¨#¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨##¨#¨¨##¨
#¨¨#¨#¨### ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ##¨###¨#¨#
¨#¨#####¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ #¨##¨¨####
####¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ###¨#¨#¨¨¨
#¨¨¨#¨¨¨## #¨¨#####¨¨
##¨¨##¨¨#¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨¨¨#¨
#¨#¨#¨#¨## ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #####¨¨¨##
¨########¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨#¨
¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# ¨¨¨¨¨##¨##
###¨¨¨¨¨¨# ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #¨¨¨¨#¨##¨
#¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨# ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ##¨¨¨###¨#
¨#¨##¨¨¨¨# ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ #¨#¨¨#¨¨##
####¨#¨¨¨# ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨###¨##¨#¨
#¨¨¨###¨¨# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ##¨¨##¨###
¨#¨¨#¨¨#¨# ¨¨#¨#¨##¨¨
¨##¨##¨### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨#####¨#¨
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ = ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.