RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨&&¨&&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨&&¨&¨¨&¨&
¨¨¨&¨&&¨&& &¨&&&¨&&&&
¨¨&&&¨&&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&¨¨&&¨&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨&¨¨&&
&&¨&¨&&¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&&&¨&¨&
¨&&&&¨&&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&&¨¨&&&
&¨&&&&¨¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&&&&&&¨¨&
¨&¨¨&&&&&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨
&&¨&¨¨¨¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
¨&&&¨¨¨&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&
&¨¨&¨¨&&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨&&¨¨&¨&
&¨&&¨&¨&&& &¨&¨&¨&&&¨
&&¨&&&&¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&&&&&¨¨&&
¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨¨&&¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨
&&&¨&¨&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨&&¨¨&&&¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨& ¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&&¨¨&&¨¨&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&&&¨&&¨
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨¨¨&&&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨¨&¨¨&&¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& ¨&&¨&¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &¨&&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨&¨&&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&&&&&¨¨¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨&¨¨&&&¨&¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ««# AND AT EASE #«« &&¨&¨¨&&&¨
&&¨¨¨&&¨&& ¨&&&¨&¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &¨¨&&&¨&&&
&&¨&&&¨&&& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &¨&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &&&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨ ¨¨&&&&&&&¨
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨&¨¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ¨&¨¨&&&&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&&&¨& &&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&&¨&¨¨&&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.