RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&¨¨¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& OPERATION. &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&&
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.