RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ======================================== ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨& ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨ ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨&& ==# AND AT EASE #== &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&& &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨& ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ======================================== ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
:::=: : ==: : =: :=
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.