RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&&.&&&... «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« .&..&&..&&
...&&..&.. .&&.&.&.&.
...&.&.&&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&.&&&&&&&
&..&&&&&.& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&&&......
&&.&....&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&..&.....
&.&&&...&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .&&.&&....
&&&..&..&& .&.&&.&...
&..&.&&.&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .&&&.&&&..
&&.&&&.&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&..&&..&.
&.&&..&&.. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &.&.&.&.&&
.&&.&.&.&. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&&&&&&&&.
.&.&&&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&.......&
&&&&...... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&&......&
....&..... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&.&.....&
&...&&.... &&&&&....&
.&..&.&... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .....&...&
&&&.&&&&.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &....&&..&
...&&...&. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&...&.&.&
&..&.&..&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&&..&&&&&
.&.&&&&.&. OPERATION. .&.&.&....
.&&&...&&& .&&&&&&...
.&..&..&.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&.....&..
.&&.&&.&&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&....&&.
.&.&&.&&.& ...&...&.&
&&&&.&&.&& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &..&&..&&&
....&&.&&. ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« .&.&.&.&..
....&.&&.& &&&&&&&&&.
....&&&.&& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &........&
&...&..&&. ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&.......&
.&..&&.&.& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ..&......&
&&&.&.&&&& ««# AND AT EASE #«« &.&&.....&
...&&&&... &&&.&....&
&..&...&.. ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &..&&&...&
.&.&&..&&. ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« .&.&..&..&
&&&&.&.&.& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« .&&&&.&&.&
....&&&&&& .&...&&.&&
&...&..... ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &&&..&.&&.
&&..&&.... ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ...&.&&&.&
..&.&.&... ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &..&&&..&&
&.&&&&&&.. ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&.&..&.&.
&&&.....&. ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &.&&&.&&&&
...&....&& &&&..&&...
...&&...&. «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ...&.&.&..
,,,«, , ««, , «, ,«
, ,, , , . ,. .
. . $ .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.