RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..###..##. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ##########
...#...... .########.
##...####. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..######..
...#..##.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #..####...
##.......# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ....##..##
#..#####.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ###......#
....###... ##..####..
###..#..## MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #....##..#
##.......# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..##......
...#####.. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .....####.
##..###..# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ####..##..
.....#.... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ###.......
####...### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .#..######
###..#..## COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .....#####
##.......# ####..####
#..#####.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ###....###
....###... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .#..##..##
.##..#..## COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..........
.........# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .#########
.#######.. OPERATION. ..#######.
..#####... ...#####..
#..###..## SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ##..###..#
....#....# NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .....#....
###...##.. ####...###
##..#..... ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ###..#..##
#.....#### ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ##.......#
..###..### ...#####..
#..#....## ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ##..###..#
.....##... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .....#....
####....## ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ####...###
###..##..# ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ###..#..##
##........ ##.......#
#..####### ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #..#####..
....###### ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ....###...
###..####. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ .##..#..##
##....##.. .........#
#..##....# ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ .#######..
......##.. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..#####...
#####....# ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ #..###..##
####..##.. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ....#....#
###....... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ###...##..
.#..###### ##..#.....
.....####. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ......####
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.