RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&...&..... ---------------------------------------- ..........
..&...&&&& .&&&&&&&&.
&...&..&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..&&&&&&..
..&.....&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ...&&&&...
&...&&&..& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&..&&..&&
..&..&.... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &........&
.......&&. ..&&&&&&..
&&&&&&.... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &..&&&&..&
&&&&&..&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ....&&....
.&&&....&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&....&&.
..&..&&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&..&&....
&.......&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .......&&&
..&&&&&..& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&&..&&
...&&&.... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&&.....
&&..&..&&. .&&&..&&&&
&......... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..&....&&&
..&&&&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....&&..&&
...&&&&&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&.......
&&..&&&&&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&..&&&&&&
&....&&&.. OPERATION. &....&&&&&
..&&..&..& ..&&..&&&&
.......... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &......&&.
&&&&&&&&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..&&&&....
.&&&&&&&&& &..&&..&&.
..&&&&&&&& --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ..........
&..&&&&&&& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &&&&&&&&&&
....&&&&&. &&&&&&&&&&
.&&..&&&.. --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- &&&&&&&&&.
......&... --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &&&&&&&&..
&&&&&...&& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &&&&&&&..&
&&&&..&... --# AND AT EASE #-- &&&&&&....
.&&.....&& &&&&&..&&.
....&&&... --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &&&&......
&&&..&..&& --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &&&..&&&&&
&&.......& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- .&....&&&&
&..&&&&&.. ...&&..&&&
....&&&..& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- &&......&&
.&&..&.... --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- &..&&&&...
.......&&& --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ....&&..&&
.&&&&&..&& --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &&&.......
..&&&....& --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &&..&&&&&&
...&..&&.. &....&&&&.
&&.......& ---------------------------------------- ..&&..&&..
:::-: : --: : -: :-
: :: : : . :. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.