RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#.....#### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #.........
..###..##. ..#######.
#..#...... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #..#####..
.....##### THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ....###...
####..#### ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ###..#..##
###....##. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .#.......#
##..##.... ...#####..
.......##. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ##..###...
######.... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #....#..##
#####..##. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..##.....#
####...... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .....###..
.##..##### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ####..#...
......#### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ###.....##
.####..### COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ##..###...
..##....## #....#..##
.....##..# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..##......
####...... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .....#####
###..####. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ####..####
##....##.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ###....###
#..##..... OPERATION. ##..##..##
......#### #........#
.####..##. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..######..
..##...... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ...####..#
.....####. ##..##....
####..##.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ #......###
###....... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ..####..##
##..###### ...##....#
#....##### ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ##....##..
..##..#### ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ...##.....
#......##. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ##....####
..####.... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ...##..###
...##..##. ##......#.
##........ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #..####...
...####### ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ....##..#.
##..###### ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ###.......
.....##### ##..#####.
####..#### ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #....###..
.##....##. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..##..#...
....##.... ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ #.......##
.##....### ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..#####...
....##..## ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ #..###..##
.##......# ....#.....
....####.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ###...####
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.