RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&...&&..& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..&..&.&.&
..&..&&&.& ...&......
...&.&.&.& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ....&.....
.......... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &....&....
.......... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&....&...
.......... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..&....&..
.......... &..&....&.
.......... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .&..&....&
&......... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..&..&....
.&........ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &..&..&...
..&....... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&..&..&..
...&...... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..&..&..&.
....&..... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &..&..&..&
&....&.... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&..&..&..
.&....&... ..&..&..&.
..&....&.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ...&..&..&
&..&....&. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....&..&..
.&..&....& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .....&..&.
..&..&.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ......&..&
&..&..&... OPERATION. .......&..
.&..&..&.. ........&.
..&..&..&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .........&
&..&..&..& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &.........
.&..&..&.. .&........
..&..&..&. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ..&.......
...&..&..& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ...&......
....&..&.. ....&.....
.....&..&. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &....&....
......&..& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&....&...
.......&.. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ .&&....&..
........&. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ .&&&....&.
.........& .&.&&....&
&......... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ...&&&....
.&........ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ...&.&&...
..&....... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ .....&&&..
...&...... .....&.&&.
....&..... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ .......&&&
&....&.... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .......&.&
&&....&... ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .........&
.&&....&.. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &........&
.&&&....&. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ .&........
.&.&&....& ..&.......
...&&&.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &..&......
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.