party,  bathroom,  door  locked,  lights 
 off, shower curtains  drawn.  floor full 
 of dirty clothes, of garbage,  and  as i 
 start to unzip my  pants,  she steps out 
 of   the   shower  and   pushes  me   to 
 theground. 
  
 i   wish  to   be   contacted  by   some 
 [god,  alien] who would bestow  upon  me 
 some  incredible  power  that  will  set 
 everything right forever.  what  i don't 
 know  is  that  this   happens  multiple 
 times per  second - they ask  me:  "when 
 you said  the  world egg was your  ideal 
 body type,  did you  mean it"?  i answer 
 "not  really, but i can act like it  for 
 you,  if  you'd  like".  at  this  point 
 however  they  have  already  erased  my 
 memory of  the encounter  and  moved on. 
 subconsciously,   this   is   where   my 
 sadnesscomesfrom