FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH (THE  PLANET  WHERE I LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF  US HAVE  ANTENNAS ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR   BALCONIES,  WE  HAVE   BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE  BUILT LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY  BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED  ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE  GALAXY,   AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN THE LOCAL  CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR LOCAL  CLUSTERS PLACE  IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND  THE 
 CENTER  OF THE  GALAXY  AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE  GALAXY  IS MOVING  TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE GALAXY. AND  WE  AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES OUT IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF LIGHT  (LIGHT IS  OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
    FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS   
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO      ONE        HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT  LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY IT'S  BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE  STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY  ISN'T  THAT   KEEPING   THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT  WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE DOING (AND  IT  PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA GO  SMOKE  MY THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
         FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING