FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH  (THE PLANET  WHERE  I LIVE) A 
 LOT  OF  US HAVE  ANTENNAS ON OUR HOUSES 
 OR   BALCONIES,  WE  HAVE   BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH, WE  HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT),  WE'VE BUILT LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE  VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION IN  THE 
      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     
 PLACEMENT   IN   THE  GALAXY,   AND  OUR 
 GALAXYS  PLACEMENT IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR  LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND  THE SUNS MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE  GALAXY AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE GALAXY  IS  MOVING TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
    AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE   
 AROUND THE GALAXY.  AND WE AS A  SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE ALL THIS,  DESPITE  ALL  OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO PROGRAMMES OUT  IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF LIGHT  (LIGHT IS  OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO        ONE      HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS TO INTELLIGENT  LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY IT'S BECAUSE YOU  NEED 
 A  CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE  AWAY FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY  ISN'T  THAT   KEEPING   THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I  THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE DOING (AND  IT  PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO SMOKE MY  THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR  AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING