FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH  (THE PLANET WHERE  I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF  US  HAVE ANTENNAS ON OUR  HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH, WE  HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
    SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM   
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT  LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT  AN ANTENNA WITH A 
          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT  OUR POSITION IN THE 
      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE  GALAXY,   AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN THE  LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE  IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING  AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE GALAXY  AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE  GALAXY IS  MOVING TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND  THE GALAXY. AND WE  AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE  ALL  THIS, DESPITE ALL  OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO PROGRAMMES OUT  IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF LIGHT  (LIGHT  IS OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT  LIFE  IN 
 THE UNIVERSE SAY  IT'S BECAUSE  YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE  AWAY FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT   REALLY   ISN'T  THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES  THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT  WE'RE  DOING (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA GO  SMOKE MY  THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR AND TRY  TO SNATCH SOME  BEERS 
         FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING