FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH (THE  PLANET  WHERE I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF US  HAVE ANTENNAS  ON OUR  HOUSES 
 OR   BALCONIES,  WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS  FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH, WE HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT),  WE'VE BUILT LARGE AS  FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT  AN ANTENNA WITH A 
          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED  ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN  THE   GALAXY,   AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN  THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR  LOCAL CLUSTERS PLACE  IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY  AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE GALAXY AT  VELOCITY  AND 
 THE  GALAXY  IS MOVING  TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND  THE GALAXY. AND  WE AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL  OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES OUT IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF LIGHT (LIGHT  IS  OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
    FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS   
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO      ONE        HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS TO  INTELLIGENT  LIFE  IN 
 THE UNIVERSE SAY  IT'S  BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR  AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY  FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT   REALLY  ISN'T  THAT   KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE  HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT  WE'RE DOING  (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA  GO SMOKE MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING