dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to  piece   together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me   and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches in my  mind. it's like 
 language,  sentences i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then i  realize i  can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless, but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to  crawl on the floor searching 
 relief, such  is my nature.  turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting... but  time  does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are  still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know   what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if you wander  too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a prick  on the  nose,  that's 
 what these are. like you do  with  a cat 
 who  comes to close  to your sandwich...