RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.......... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #.........
########## ..########
########## THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #..#######
#########. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ....######
########.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ###..#####
#######..# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ##....####
######.... #..##..###
#####..### MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ........##
####....## THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #######..#
###..##..# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ######....
.#........ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM #####..##.
...####### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .###......
##..###### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..#..#####
#....####. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) #.....####
..##..##.. ..###..###
.........# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #..#....#.
########.. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .....##...
.######..# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .###....#.
..####.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..#..##...
#..##..### OPERATION. #.......##
........## ..#####..#
.######..# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...###....
..####.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ##..#..###
...##..##. ........#.
##........ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ #######...
...######. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .#####..#.
##..####.. ..###.....
.....##..# ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #..#..###.
####...... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .......#..
.##..####. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ######....
......##.. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ #####..###
.####..... ####....#.
..##..#### ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ###..##...
#......### ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .#......##
..####..#. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ...####..#
...##..... ##..##....
##....###. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #......###
#..##..#.. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..####..##
.........# ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ...##....#
.#######.. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ##....##..
..#####... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ #..##....#
...###..## ......##..
##..#..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .####....#
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.