RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§§¨¨¨ §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§¨¨§§ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨§§§§§§§§§
§§§§¨¨§§§§ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨§§§§§§§§
§§§¨¨¨¨§§§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨§§§§§§§
§§¨¨§§¨¨§§ §§¨¨§§§§§§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§
¨¨§§§§§§§§ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH §§§§¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨§§§§§§§ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO §§§¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨§§§§§§ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM §§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§§§¨¨§§§§ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨¨¨§§§ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §¨¨§§¨¨§§¨
¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨§§§§§§§§§
§§¨¨§§§§§§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨§§§§§§§§
§¨¨¨¨§§§§§ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨§§§§§§§
¨¨§§¨¨§§§§ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE §§¨¨§§§§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§¨
§§§§§§¨¨§§ §§§§¨¨§§¨¨
¨§§§§¨¨¨¨§ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§¨¨§§¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨§§§§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ §§§¨¨§§§§¨
§§§§§§§§¨¨ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» §§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨
¨§§§§§§¨¨§ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» §¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨§§§§¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§§§¨¨¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» §¨¨¨¨§§§§¨
§§¨¨§§¨¨§§ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨¨§§¨¨§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ §§§§§§§§§§
§§§§§§§§§§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» §§§§§§§§§§
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.