RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&&¨&&&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨
¨&&¨&¨&¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&&¨¨
¨&¨&&&&&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ &¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
¨&&&&¨&¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&¨&¨¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨¨&&&&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&&
&&&¨¨&¨¨¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨&&¨&&&&
¨&¨&&&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨&&&¨¨&&&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨&&&¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&&&¨¨&&&¨
¨&&¨&&&&¨¨ ¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨&
&&¨&&¨¨¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨&&&&¨&
¨¨&&¨&¨¨&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&¨&¨&&&¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&¨&¨¨&¨
&&&&&¨¨&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨&&&¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨ &¨¨¨&&¨&¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨¨&¨&&&&
¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&&¨¨&¨&¨& &&&&&¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&¨&&&&& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨¨¨¨&&&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&&
¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&&¨¨&&¨&¨
¨¨&&¨¨&¨&¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&&&
&¨&¨&¨&&&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨&¨&&&&&¨¨
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ &&¨¨&¨¨¨&&
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨&&&¨&¨&&
&&¨&¨¨¨&&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨&¨¨&&&&¨
&¨&&&¨¨&¨¨ ¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨&&¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &¨&¨&&&¨¨&
&&¨&¨&&&¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&&&&¨¨&¨&
¨¨&&&&¨¨&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨¨¨¨&¨&&&
&¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
&&&&¨¨&&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨
&¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ ¨¨&&¨&&¨&&
¨&¨¨&&&&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&¨&&¨&&¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.