RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&&¨&¨¨&¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
&&¨&¨&&&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨&¨¨¨&&¨
&¨¨&&¨¨¨&& &&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&¨&&&¨¨
&&&&&¨&&&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨¨&¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨&&&&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&&&¨&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&¨¨&&&¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&&&&¨&¨&
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨¨¨&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨&&¨¨&&&
&&¨¨&&&¨¨¨ OPERATION. &&&¨&¨&¨¨&
¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨¨&&&&&¨&¨
&&&&¨&&¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨¨¨&¨¨&&
¨¨&¨&&&¨¨¨ ¨&¨¨&&¨&¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&¨&¨&&&&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨&&&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨&&&¨&¨&& &¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
&&¨¨&&&&¨¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &¨¨&&¨¨&&&
¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨&&&¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &&&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&¨¨&& ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨&&&&¨&¨& ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&&
¨&¨¨¨&&&&& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨¨¨&&&¨&&&
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨
&&&¨&¨¨&&& ¨&&¨&¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨&¨¨& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &¨&&&&&¨¨&
¨&¨¨&&&¨&¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&&¨&¨¨&&&¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨&
¨&&&¨&¨¨&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&¨¨&¨¨&&¨
&¨¨&&&¨&¨& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ¨&¨&&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&&&&¨ &&&¨&&&&&&
&&&¨&¨¨¨&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.