RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&&&&...& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &.&&&.&.&.
&....&..&. &&..&&&&&.
&...&&.&&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&.&....&&
&..&.&&.&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&&&...&..
&.&&&.&&&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ...&..&&.&
&&..&&..&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..&&.&.&&.
.&.&.&.&&& .&.&&&&.&&
&&&&&&&..& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&...&&.&
......&.&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..&..&.&&.
.....&&&.. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO .&&.&&&.&.
....&..&.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &.&&..&&&.
...&&.&&.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&.&.&..&.
..&.&&.&.& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&&&&&.&&.
.&&&.&&&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &....&&.&.
&..&&....& &...&.&&&.
&.&.&...&. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &..&&&..&&
&&&&&..&&. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &.&..&.&..
....&.&.&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&.&&&&.&
...&&&&&.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..&&...&&&
..&....&.. OPERATION. .&.&..&..&
.&&...&&.& &&&&.&&.&&
&.&..&.&&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...&&.&&.&
&&&.&&&.&. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..&.&&.&&.
..&&..&&&& .&&&.&&.&&
.&.&.&...& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &..&&.&&.&
&&&&&&..&. ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &.&.&&.&&&
.....&.&&. &&&&.&&...
....&&&.&. ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ...&&.&...
...&..&&&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« ..&.&&&...
..&&.&...& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« .&&&..&...
.&.&&&..&. ««# AND AT EASE #«« &..&.&&...
&&&..&.&&. &.&&&.&...
..&.&&&.&. ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &&..&&&..&
.&&&..&&&& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« .&.&..&.&&
&..&.&.... ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &&&&.&&&.&
&.&&&&...& ...&&..&&.
&&...&..&. ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ..&.&.&.&&
.&..&&.&&. ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« .&&&&&&&..
&&.&.&&.&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &......&..
.&&&&.&&.. ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &.....&&.&
&...&&.&.& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &....&.&&&
&..&.&&&&& &...&&&...
&.&&&....& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &..&..&..&
---«- - ««- - «- -«
- -- - - . -. .
. . * .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.