RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨####¨### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨#¨¨#¨#¨¨
¨¨#¨¨¨##¨¨ ####¨####¨
¨¨##¨¨#¨#¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨#
#¨#¨#¨#### THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #¨¨¨#¨#¨¨#
¨######¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨#¨¨####¨#
##¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨##¨#¨¨¨##
¨¨#¨¨¨¨##¨ ¨#¨###¨¨#¨
¨¨##¨¨¨#¨# MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨###¨¨#¨##
#¨#¨#¨¨### THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨#¨¨#¨###¨
######¨#¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ###¨###¨¨#
¨¨¨¨¨¨###¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨##¨¨#¨#
#¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨# WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE #¨¨#¨#¨###
¨#¨¨¨¨##¨# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨#¨#####¨¨
¨##¨¨¨#¨## COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨###¨¨¨¨#¨
¨#¨#¨¨###¨ ¨#¨¨#¨¨¨##
#####¨#¨¨# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ###¨##¨¨#¨
#¨¨¨¨###¨# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨##¨#¨##
¨#¨¨¨#¨¨## COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨#¨####¨
¨##¨¨##¨#¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨###¨¨¨#
##¨#¨#¨### OPERATION. #¨¨#¨¨#¨¨#
¨¨######¨¨ ¨#¨##¨##¨#
#¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ####¨##¨##
¨###¨¨¨¨## NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: #¨¨¨##¨##¨
¨#¨¨#¨¨¨#¨ ##¨¨#¨##¨#
###¨##¨¨## ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ #¨#¨###¨##
¨¨¨##¨#¨#¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨####¨¨##¨
¨¨¨#¨##### ¨#¨¨¨#¨#¨#
#¨¨###¨¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨##¨¨#####
¨#¨#¨¨#¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨#¨#¨#¨¨¨¨
¨####¨##¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨######¨¨¨
¨#¨¨¨##¨#¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨
¨##¨¨#¨### ¨##¨¨¨¨##¨
¨#¨#¨###¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ##¨#¨¨¨#¨#
######¨¨#¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #¨###¨¨###
¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨## ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨##¨¨#¨#¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨###¨ ##¨#¨####¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨# ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #¨####¨¨¨#
#¨¨¨¨¨##¨# ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ###¨¨¨#¨¨#
¨#¨¨¨¨#¨## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨¨#¨¨##¨#
###¨¨¨###¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ #¨¨##¨#¨##
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ##¨#¨####¨
¨¨¨##¨##¨# ¨¨####¨¨¨#
#¨¨#¨##¨## ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨#¨¨¨#¨¨#
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.