FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH (THE  PLANET WHERE  I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF  US HAVE  ANTENNAS ON OUR  HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,  WE  HAVE   BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH, WE  HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
    SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM   
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT  LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH  A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION IN  THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE   GALAXY,  AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS  PLACEMENT IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR  LOCAL CLUSTERS PLACE  IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS  MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF THE GALAXY  AT  VELOCITY  AND 
 THE GALAXY IS  MOVING  TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE GALAXY. AND  WE AS A  SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE ALL  THIS, DESPITE  ALL OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES OUT  IN  FUCKING SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF LIGHT  (LIGHT IS  OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO      ONE        HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS TO  INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY  IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A CLASS ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR  AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY  FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY   ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE  NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE DOING (AND  IT  PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA GO  SMOKE  MY THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR AND TRY  TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING