RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
####.#..#. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..#.#.###.
...###.##. .#####..##
..#..##.#. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #....#.#.#
.##.#.###. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #...######
#.####..## ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #..#.....#
##...#.#.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #.##....#.
.#..####.. ##.#...###
##.#...#.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .###..#..#
.###..##.# THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #..#.##.#.
#..#.#.##. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #.###.###.
#.#####.#. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ##..##..##
##....#### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .#.#.#.#..
.#...#...# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ########.#
##..##..#. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .......###
.#.#.#.### ......#...
#######... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .....##...
......#... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....#.#..#
.....##..# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ...####.##
....#.#.## WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..#...##.#
...#####.. OPERATION. .##..#.###
..#....#.# #.#.###..#
.##...#### SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ####..#.##
#.#..#.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ...#.###.#
###.##...# ..###..##.
..##.#..## ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .#..#.#.##
.#.###.#.# ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ##.#####.#
###..####. .##....###
..#.#...## ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #.#...#...
.####..#.# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ###..##...
#...#.###. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ..#.#.#...
#..###..## ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ .######..#
#.#..#.#.# #.....#.#.
###.###### ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #....#####
..##...... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #...#.....
.#.#...... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ #..##.....
####...... #.#.#.....
...#.....# ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ #####....#
..##....## ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ....#...##
.#.#...#.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ...##..#.#
####..##.# ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..#.#.####
...#.#.### ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ .#####....
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.