RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..&....... ======================================== .....&&..&
....&&&&&& &&&&......
&&&..&&&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&..&&&&&
&&....&&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&....&&&&
&..&&..&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ...&&..&&&
........&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&......&&
.&&&&&&..& ...&&&&...
..&&&&.... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&..&&..&&
...&&..&&. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &.........
&&........ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..&&&&&&&&
&..&&&&&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &..&&&&&&&
....&&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ....&&&&&&
.&&..&&&&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&&..&&&&.
......&&.. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ......&&..
&&&&&....& &&&&&....&
&&&&..&&.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&&&..&&..
.&&....... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .&&.......
....&&&&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ....&&&&&&
.&&..&&&&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&&..&&&&.
......&&.. OPERATION. ......&&..
&&&&&....& .&&&&....&
&&&&..&&.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..&&..&&..
.&&......& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..........
....&&&&.. &&&&&&&&&&
.&&..&&... ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== .&&&&&&&&.
........&& ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ..&&&&&&..
&&&&&&&..& &..&&&&..&
&&&&&&.... ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ....&&....
.&&&&..&&. ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== .&&....&&.
..&&...... ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ....&&....
&....&&&&. ==# AND AT EASE #== &&&....&&&
..&&..&&.. &&..&&..&&
.......... ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ..........
&&&&&&&&&& ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&& ======================================== &&&&&&&&&&
~~~=~ ~ ==~ ~ =~ ~=
~ ~~ ~ ~ . ~. .
. . * .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.