RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&&&¨¨& ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& ¨¨&&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨&&&¨ &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨&¨&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨ &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨
~~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~ ~~ ~~
~ ~~ ~ ~ ¨ ~¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.