RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&&&&¨¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨&¨&&&¨&&¨ &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
¨&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨¨&&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ OPERATION. &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨&¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&&¨&¨&¨&
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ $ ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.