RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION           
                                          
  
                                          
 THE  COMPUTER  IS  A VERY COMMON TOOL IN 
 THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME  WAYS EVEN NOW. 
 ITS JOB IS TO DO  VAST  AMOUNTS OF SMALL 
 CALCULATIONS  IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. 
                                          
 MOST WORK  ON  THE  PRINCIPLES OF POSING 
 THE  PROBLEM ON  A  HILBERT PLANE, WHICH 
 IS  THEN  FOLDED  OUT  OF  CAUSALITY, SO 
 THAT  DAEMONS  CAN   SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM 
   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    
 DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE 
         COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)          
                                          
   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   
 CLERKS TO  PRAY TO THE "GODS"  OF  THEIR 
 COMPUTER,  OR TO  THE DAEMONS DOING  THE 
 WORK,   FOR   A  QUICK  AND  FAULT  FREE 
                OPERATION.                
                                          
      SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY       
    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    
                                          
       LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE       
         FOR QUIET AND CALM         
                                          
      RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER      
     REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE     
      THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE      
             AND AT EASE            
                                          
      SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF      
      PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE      
    LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK    
                                          
     OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA    
      OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES     
     (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES,      
       THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED      
        TO RESPOND TO THIS)         
                                          
  
                            
                                 
                                      
                                         
                                          
                                          
 WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF 
 TO    BE    A    KIND     OF     PRAYER? 
 AS    IN,   YOU   MAKE   A   CONVOLUTED, 
 INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,   AND    USELESS 
 ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,  YOU'RE  USING   YOUR 
 SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING, 
                                          
 ...I'D   ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL  OF  BUGS? 
                                          
 CODE   HAS    BUGS,    LOTS    OF    IT.