RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&& &&&&&&&&¨¨
&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&&&¨¨&&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&&&&&&¨¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&¨¨&&&&¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&&&&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&¨¨&&&&&&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&¨¨&&¨¨
&&&¨¨&&¨¨¨ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨¨&&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
&&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ &¨¨¨¨&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨&&¨¨&&&&
¨&&&&&&&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨&&&&&&&& ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&&&&&&¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &¨¨&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨&&¨¨&&¨¨& &&&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &&&&&&¨¨&&
¨&&&&&&&&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&&&&&& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &&&&¨¨&&&&
¨¨¨&&&&&&¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« &&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨&&&&¨¨ &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&&&& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &¨¨&&¨¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&¨¨&&¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&&¨¨&&&&& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&&&&&&&&&
&¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &&&&&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ &&&&&&&&&&
¨&&&&&&&&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&&&&&&&&¨
---«- - ««- - «- -«
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.