dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything is  completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start   to  piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear   hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all over my  vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences i  can't hide  from, 
 forcefully transcribed in my  mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then i  realize  i  can't hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic  in it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless, but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief, such  is my  nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting... but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything of  this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what   to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can  happen if you wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a  prick on  the nose, that's 
 what these  are. like you do with  a cat 
 who  comes to close to your  sandwich...