dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is  completely calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to  piece   together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits   me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed  in my mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i  realize  i  can't hear anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic  in it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless, but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on  the floor searching 
 relief,  such is  my nature. turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but time does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything of this  happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what   to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if  you wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick  on  the nose, that's 
 what these  are. like  you do with a cat 
 who comes  to  close to your sandwich...