dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything is  completely  calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and  i   feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all  over  my vision, pressing in, being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language,  sentences  i can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed in my  mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize  i  can't hear anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely calm.  it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief, such  is my nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting... but  time  does -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't    know   what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick on  the  nose, that's 
 what these are.  like  you do with a cat 
 who  comes  to close to your sandwich...