LIFE                
                                    
                                    
                                          
     A MULTITUDE OF DEFINITIONS     
        DOES   NOT   HELP.   WE       
      CAN     SAY     "LIFE     IS      
        WHAT    WE   ARE,   AND       
       WHAT  THINGS  LIKE  US       
        ARE",   BUT   THEN   WE       
     MUST    ALSO    DEFINE    WHAT     
     "THINGS  LIKE  US"  ACTUALLY     
       ENTAILS, HOW  IT SHOULD      
       BE  MEASURED,   WHO   OR       
     WHAT    IS     THE    ARBITER,     
       AND   SO   INSTEAD  THERE      
           IS   THIS   INTERNATIONALLY 
 SANCTIONED      LIST                  
           OF CRITERIA          
                                          
 - LIFE MUST PRODUCE OR CONSUME MILK      
 - LIFE MUST HAVE A BEGINNING AND AN END  
 - LIFE CAN HAVE DREAMS AND CAN INTERACT  
 - LIFE CAN STEAL                         
 - LIFE CAN BE CURSED