THE   GOLDEN        
               M              
                                          
             LETS HEAR IT FOR             
             MC DONALDS             
                                          
 WHAT     CAN     I     DO     YA     FOR 
                                          
              CHEESEBURGER              
                 NUGGETS                
           DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER          
                  FRIES                 
            CARBONATED WATER            
           BEARNAISE DIP SAUCE          
                BIG MAC                 
                 COFFEE                 
                                          
                               
                                          
 IT  ALL BEGAN  A  THOUSAND YEARS  AGO IN 
 LIKE  THE  EIGHTEENTH  CENTURY.  A  DARK 
 FIGURE  EMERGED FROM  A  TAVERN AFTER  A 
 FEW YEARS APPRENTICESHIP, WITH AN  IDEA. 
 IT  WAS  ILLEGAL TO  SELL  FOOD  IN  THE 
 REGION FOR EVERYBODY EXCEPT THAT TAVERN. 
                                          
         BUT MARIGOLD DIDN'T CARE.        
                                          
 SHE  BEGAN  PUTTING  DRIED  LIZARD  MEAT 
 BETWEEN TWO BREAD SLICES,  OPERATING OUT 
 OF  A CART,  NOT  STAYING  IN  THE  SAME 
 PLACE  LONG.  IN  THE  DAY SHE SLEPT, IN 
 THE EVE  SHE SOLD HER WARES, AND IN  THE 
            NIGHT SHE POACHED.            
                                          
 AFTER A  FEW YEARS, MARIGOLDS  FOOD CART 
 HAD  A   REPUTATION.   SHE   CALLED   IT 
             THE GOLDEN M             
 AND  PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT  THE  GOLDEN M. 
 THE OLD TAVERN  HAD  THEIR MONOPOLY  AND 
      DIDN'T CHANGE THEIR MENU MUCH.      
   MARIGOLDS SECRET LIZARD FOODCART WAS   
              NEW AND FRESH.              
                                          
 HOWEVER,  SHE BECAME  A  LITTLE TOO WELL 
 KNOWN.  THE  TAVERNS  MEN  HOT   ON  HER 
 TRAIL,  SHE  COULD STAY  A  SHORTER  AND 
 SHORTER TIME IN EACH  LOCATION. SHE FELT 
 HUNTED.  AND  SOON  ENOUGH  THERE CAME A 
 TIME WHEN THEY STARTED  WATCHING FOR HER 
 AT   THE   GATES   OF   EVERY   VILLAGE. 
                                          
 SO SHE  HID THE  CART, AND  DISAPPEARED, 
                 FOREVER.                 
                                          
                                   
                                          
 AFTER  THIRTY   YEARS,   A   MAN   NAMED 
 NICHOLAS  FOUND  THE  CART.  HE   WAS  A 
     CURSED ENTREPRENEUR (THEY ALL ARE    
 (CURSED,  I MEAN)) AND  AS  SUCH  HE  OF 
 COURSE THOUGHT IT A GOOD IDEA  TO FOLLOW 
          IN MARIGOLDS FOODSTEPS.         
                                          
 HE WASN'T ALL THAT OF A  COOK,  AND EVEN 
 THOUGH SOME RECOGNIZED THE  GOLDEN M, HE 
 QUICKLY FELL  INTO INFAMITY. HOWEVER  HE 
 WAS  KIND OF A HARDHAT  AND DIDN'T  STOP 
 TRYING.  THE TAVERN DIDN'T CARE FOR  HIM 
 SINCE  NOBODY  BOUGHT  HIS  FOOD  ANYWAY 
 (AND  ALSO   THEY   HAD   EXPANDED   TOO 
  QUICKLY, SUCCUMBED TO CORRUPTION, AND   
 WAS IN THE PROCESS  OF  FALLING  APART). 
                                          
 ANGRY AT EVERYONE FOR NOT  UNDERSTANDING 
 HIS    FOOD,   HE   VOWED    TO    LEAVE 
          KIRUGU VARGIR ENTIERLY.         
                                          
               WHICH HE DID.              
                                          
                                     
                                          
 WE DONT KNOW  MUCH ABOUT HOW HE TRAVELED 
 OR WHERE, BUT EVENTUALLY HE ENDED  UP ON 
          EARTH IN THE FIFTIES.           
 UPON  FINDING  OUT THAT  EARTH  HOLDS NO 
 EDIBLE  LIZARDS, HE SETTLED FOR COW MEAT 
 INSTEAD, AND TO HIS  JOY, THE EARTH FOLK 
                 LIKED IT!                
                                          
 THEN HE GOT SCAMMED OUT OF THE  CART  BY 
 A  MAN NAMED  MICKEY  MAC  DONALDS,  WHO 
   RENAMED THE BUSINESS AFTER HIMSELF.    
  WHILE NICHOLAS QUICKLY PERISHED, MICKEY 
   FUNNELED HIS INHERITED BILLIONS INTO   
 THE PROJECT,  AND  QUICKLY EXPANDED  ALL 
             OVER THE PLANET.             
                                          
                                       
                                          
         AND THE REST IS HISTORY!