METALS                  
                                    
                                          
 HEY HUM.  METALS  ARE  USED FOR MAGIC OR 
 CONSTRUCTION OF LARGE OR SPECIAL THINGS. 
                                          
                                         
                                          
 COPPER    USED  FOR  CLOCKS  AND BELLS, 
 COMMUNICATING  WITH OLD  BEINGS, AND  BY 
         IDIOTS FOR KILLING TREES         
                                          
 MERCURY    USED  FOR  PROLONGING  LIFE, 
  TRANSFERRING INTO OTHER DIMENSIONS, AND 
           FOR ELECTRICAL LIGHTS          
                                          
 SILVER   THE MOON  METAL, USED TO  LURE 
 AND  COMMUNICATE  WITH  CANINES, AND  TO 
     KEEP SAFE DURING MOONLIT NIGHTS      
                                          
           BRONZE IS ALSO GOOD.           
                                          
           IRON IS A NOOB METAL