FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH (THE  PLANET WHERE  I  LIVE) A 
 LOT  OF US  HAVE ANTENNAS ON  OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE   BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER BANDWITH,  WE  HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO  ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT  AN ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT  OUR POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT  IN   THE  GALAXY,   AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN THE  LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR LOCAL CLUSTERS  PLACE  IN THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND  THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE  GALAXY AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE  GALAXY  IS MOVING TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE  GALAXY. AND WE  AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE  ALL  THIS, DESPITE ALL OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO  PROGRAMMES  OUT IN FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT IS OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO      ONE       HAS        ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
             SO WHY IS THAT?              
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS TO  INTELLIGENT  LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY IT'S  BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE  AWAY FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT   REALLY  ISN'T  THAT  KEEPING   THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT  WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA  WHAT WE'RE DOING (AND  IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO  SMOKE MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING