FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH  (THE  PLANET WHERE I  LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF  US HAVE  ANTENNAS ON OUR  HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
    SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM   
 INTO ORBIT),  WE'VE BUILT LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA WITH  A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT  OUR POSITION IN THE 
      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     
 PLACEMENT   IN  THE   GALAXY,  AND   OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT  IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR  LOCAL CLUSTERS PLACE  IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE  SUNS MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER OF  THE  GALAXY  AT VELOCITY  AND 
 THE  GALAXY IS  MOVING  TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE GALAXY.  AND  WE AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE  ALL  THIS,  DESPITE ALL OUR 
    (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR   
 RADIO PROGRAMMES  OUT IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT IS OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
    FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS   
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR  SECRETS IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO      ONE       HAS        ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT  LIFE IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY IT'S BECAUSE  YOU NEED 
 A CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER STAR  AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM  THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY   ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE  HAVE NO 
 IDEA WHAT WE'RE  DOING  (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA  GO SMOKE MY  THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR AND TRY  TO SNATCH SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING