RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
@@.@.@.@.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @.@.@.@.@.
@@......@. @.........
@@@......@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @@........
@.@@...... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .@@.......
..@@@..... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .@@@......
..@.@@.... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .@.@@.....
....@@@... ...@@@....
....@.@@.. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @..@.@@...
......@@@. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @@...@@@..
......@.@@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @@@..@.@@.
........@@ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @.@@...@@@
@.......@. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..@@@..@.@
@@........ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..@.@@...@
.@@....... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ....@@@..@
.@@@...... ....@.@@..
.@.@@..... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ......@@@.
...@@@.... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ......@.@@
@..@.@@... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ........@@
@@...@@@.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @.......@.
@@@..@.@@. OPERATION. .@........
@.@@...@@@ ..@.......
..@@@..@.@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @..@......
..@.@@...@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .@..@.....
....@@@..@ ..@..@....
....@.@@.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @..@..@...
......@@@. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .@..@..@..
......@.@@ ..@..@..@.
........@@ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ...@..@..@
@.......@. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ....@..@..
.@........ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ .....@..@.
..@....... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ......@..@
@..@...... @......@..
.@..@..... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ .@......@.
..@..@.... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ..@......@
@..@..@... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ...@......
.@..@..@.. @...@.....
..@..@..@. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ @@...@....
...@..@..@ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ @@@...@...
....@..@.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ @.@@...@..
.....@..@. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ..@@@...@.
......@..@ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ..@.@@...@
@......@.. ....@@@...
.@......@. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ....@.@@..
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.