FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH (THE PLANET  WHERE  I  LIVE) A 
 LOT  OF US HAVE  ANTENNAS  ON OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE   BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER BANDWITH,  WE  HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
    SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM   
 INTO  ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT  LARGE AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT  AN ANTENNA WITH A 
          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED  ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT   IN   THE  GALAXY,   AND  OUR 
 GALAXYS  PLACEMENT IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR LOCAL CLUSTERS PLACE  IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS  MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE  GALAXY  AT VELOCITY AND 
 THE  GALAXY  IS  MOVING TOWARD ANDROMEDA 
    AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE   
 AROUND THE GALAXY. AND  WE AS  A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE ALL  THIS, DESPITE  ALL  OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO PROGRAMMES  OUT  IN FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE  SPEED  OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT IS OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF  ALL  OUR SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
       FERMI'S PARADOX      
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT  LIFE IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY  IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER  STAR AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE  STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY   ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING  THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE  NO 
 IDEA  WHAT  WE'RE DOING (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO SMOKE  MY  THIRD CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING