FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON EARTH  (THE PLANET  WHERE  I  LIVE) A 
 LOT OF  US  HAVE ANTENNAS  ON OUR HOUSES 
 OR  BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE  BUILT   LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE  HAVE 
     BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR      
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO  ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT LARGE AS  FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN  ANTENNA WITH A 
         DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.          
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED  ABOUT OUR POSITION IN THE 
      SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS     
 PLACEMENT   IN   THE   GALAXY,  AND  OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT IN  THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND OUR  LOCAL CLUSTERS PLACE  IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY  AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE GALAXY  AT  VELOCITY AND 
 THE  GALAXY IS MOVING  TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE GALAXY. AND  WE  AS A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND DESPITE  ALL  THIS, DESPITE  ALL OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO PROGRAMMES OUT  IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE SPEED  OF  LIGHT  (LIGHT IS  OUR 
  MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!), 
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
    FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS   
 BEAMING  OF  ALL OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO       ONE       HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST OPPONENTS  TO  INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE UNIVERSE  SAY  IT'S BECAUSE YOU NEED 
 A  CLASS ONE-OR-THE-OTHER STAR  AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE STAR  (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY   ISN'T  THAT  KEEPING   THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I THINK EVERYONE AGREES  THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA  WHAT WE'RE DOING  (AND IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M  GONNA  GO SMOKE MY THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS  YEAR AND TRY TO SNATCH  SOME BEERS 
         FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING