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£§£^;«~¨¨¨ I USED TO BE A GOTH, IN MY YOUTH, DOING ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
§£^;«~¨¨¨¨ CRIMES MOSTLY FROM OR IN MY BELOVED AND ¨¨¨¨~«;^£§
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ TRUSTED CAR, AND SOMETIMES MY MOTHERS ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ BARN. WE LIVED JUST OUTSIDE TOWN, A ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ GROVE AT THE END OF A DIRT ROAD, AND ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE BARN WAS PLACED SO YOU COULD JUST ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ MAKE OUT THE SURROUNDING FIELDS THROUGH ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
§£^;«~¨¨¨¨ THE TREES. ¨¨¨¨~«;^£§
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@£§£^;«~¨¨ MY CAR WAS BLACK AND LOUD, BOTH THE ¨¨~«;^£§£@
#@£§£^;«~¨ ENGINE AND THE WAY THE PARTS DIDN'T ¨~«;^£§£@#
@£§£^;«~¨¨ REALLY STICK TOGETHER. I TOOK MY ¨¨~«;^£§£@
£§£^;«~¨¨¨ CRIMEFRIEND FOR RIDES, IN THE DARK, THE ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
§£^;«~¨¨¨¨ ETERNAL DARK THAT SEEMED TO SURROUND ¨¨¨¨~«;^£§
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ US. SHE SEEMED TO CAST THIS VEIL OVER ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ EVERYTHING. HER BLACK SKIRT REACHED TO ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ HER KNEES BUT THEN SOMEHOW ALSO BACK ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ AROUND, ENVELOPING ALL MY MEMORIES OF ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ OUR TIME TOGETHER. ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
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£§£^;«~¨¨¨ THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE. SOMETIMES ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
@£§£^;«~¨¨ THE BLOOD WAS HER RED LIPSTICK OR HER ¨¨~«;^£§£@
#@£§£^;«~¨ CHECKERED SHIRT. SHE WAS ON TELEVISION. ¨~«;^£§£@#
@£§£^;«~¨¨ WE DID CRIME, AND WE MADE WEIRD ¨¨~«;^£§£@
£§£^;«~¨¨¨ STRUCTURES IN THE BARN, TALL PILLARS OF ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
§£^;«~¨¨¨¨ DARK WOOD, LADDERS AND PLATEAUS, FIRES ¨¨¨¨~«;^£§
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ AND FAIRY LIGHTS. WE WOULD SLEEP THERE ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ AND DRINK THERE AND SHE WOULD GO IN THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ TELEVISION. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ AND THEN THE SUN CAME OUT, AND SHE WENT ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
§£^;«~¨¨¨¨ AWAY. EVERYTHING CHANGED... I YEARNED, ¨¨¨¨~«;^£§
£§£^;«~¨¨¨ AND THE WORLD BECAME DULL AROUND ME. ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
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#@£§£^;«~¨ I STOPPED DOING CRIME, EXCEPT WHEN ¨~«;^£§£@#
@£§£^;«~¨¨ NECESSARRY. THINGS SOMEHOW SEEMED LIKE ¨¨~«;^£§£@
£§£^;«~¨¨¨ THEY WERE ALLRIGHT, MOULDED IN PLACE, ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
§£^;«~¨¨¨¨ AND I LOATHED IT ------ I MISSED HER ¨¨¨¨~«;^£§
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ SO MUCH. ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
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£§£^;«~¨¨¨ I SEARCHED FOR HER, BUT NOBODY HAD ANY ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
@£§£^;«~¨¨ MEMORIES OF HER. NOT SO MUCH OF ME ¨¨~«;^£§£@
#@£§£^;«~¨ EITHER, FROM THE TIME WE WERE TOGETHER. ¨~«;^£§£@#
@£§£^;«~¨¨ MY MOTHER SAID I KEPT TO MYSELF IN THE ¨¨~«;^£§£@
£§£^;«~¨¨¨ BARN, OR IN THE CAR. ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
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£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ SOMETIMES I COULD STILL SEE HER ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ FLASHING BY ON THE TV IN THE BARN. ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ EVERYTHING WAS BLACK THEN, FOR A ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ MOMENT. I REMEMBERED HER LAUGH AND KNEW ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ WE HAD DONE CRIMES TOGETHER, THAT IT ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
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£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ WHILE RAMMING THE FENCE TO A MILITARY ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ FACILITY. BY THIS TIME THEY HAD BEEN ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CHASING ME FOR DAYS. I LOST CONTROL ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ OVER THE CAR, CRASHED IT INTO A ROCK ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ WALL AND FLEW OUT THE WINDSHIELD. ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
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£§£^;«~¨¨¨ AND THEN I GOT UP, AND LOOKED AROUND. ¨¨¨~«;^£§£
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#@£§£^;«~¨ BEEN A BRIGHT DAY. AROUND ME WHERE ¨~«;^£§£@#
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;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ AND THEN I REALIZED THAT I KNEW THIS ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;
^;«~¨¨¨¨¨¨ DARKNESS. I KNEW THE WAY THE SKY ¨¨¨¨¨¨~«;^
£^;«~¨¨¨¨¨ TOUCHED THE GROUND. THIS WAS HER DOING! ¨¨¨¨¨~«;^£
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