RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&&¨&¨¨¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&&
¨¨&¨&¨¨&&¨ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ OPERATION. ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&¨&¨&¨ ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨&&¨&¨&¨&¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.