RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨####¨¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨#¨####¨¨
¨¨#¨¨¨#¨¨# ¨###¨¨¨#¨¨
¨##¨¨##¨#¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #¨¨#¨¨##¨¨
#¨#¨#¨###¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #¨##¨#¨#¨¨
######¨¨#¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ##¨#####¨#
¨¨¨¨¨#¨### CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨##¨¨¨¨##¨
¨¨¨¨###¨¨# #¨#¨¨¨#¨#¨
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨## MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ###¨¨####¨
¨¨##¨###¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨#¨#¨¨¨#¨
¨#¨##¨¨#¨# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨####¨¨##¨
###¨#¨#### THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM #¨¨¨#¨#¨#¨
¨¨####¨¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE #¨¨#######
¨#¨¨¨#¨¨¨# DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨#
##¨¨##¨¨## COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ###¨¨¨¨¨##
¨#¨#¨#¨#¨# ¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨¨
#########¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨##¨¨¨##¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #¨#¨¨#¨#¨#
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨### COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ###¨######
¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨#
¨¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨#¨#¨¨¨¨##
¨¨¨¨#¨#¨¨# ####¨¨¨#¨#
¨¨¨####¨#¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨#¨¨####
¨¨#¨¨¨#### NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨##¨#¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨#¨¨¨# ¨#¨###¨¨##
#¨#¨##¨¨## »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ###¨¨#¨#¨#
####¨#¨#¨¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨#¨#####¨
¨¨¨#####¨# ¨###¨¨¨¨##
¨¨#¨¨¨¨### »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» #¨¨#¨¨¨#¨#
¨##¨¨¨#¨¨¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» #¨##¨¨####
#¨#¨¨##¨¨# »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ##¨#¨#¨¨¨#
###¨#¨#¨## »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨#####¨¨#¨
¨¨######¨¨ #¨¨¨¨#¨###
¨#¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» #¨¨¨###¨¨#
##¨¨¨¨##¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» #¨¨#¨¨#¨##
¨#¨¨¨#¨#¨# »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» #¨##¨###¨¨
##¨¨#####¨ ##¨##¨¨#¨¨
¨#¨#¨¨¨¨#¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨##¨#¨##¨#
####¨¨¨##¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» #¨####¨###
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨## »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» ##¨¨¨##¨¨¨
¨¨##¨###¨# »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨#¨¨#¨#¨¨¨
¨#¨##¨¨##¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ##¨####¨¨¨
###¨#¨#¨## ¨##¨¨¨#¨¨¨
¨¨######¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» #¨#¨¨##¨¨#
:::»: : »»: : »: :»
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.