RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨&&¨&¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨ &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& OPERATION. ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&¨¨&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&&¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨&&& &¨&&¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨&¨& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&¨&&¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&¨& &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.