RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨&¨&&&¨& ---------------------------------------- ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨&&&&&¨¨&& ¨¨¨&&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨¨¨&&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨&&&&¨&&
¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&&¨¨¨&&¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
&&&¨&&&¨&¨ ¨&&&&&¨&&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&&¨¨¨&¨&¨
¨¨¨&&&&&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨&¨¨&&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&&&&¨&¨¨¨
&&¨&&¨¨¨¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
&¨&&¨&¨¨¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
&&&¨&&&¨¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&¨¨¨&&¨&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨& ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨¨&¨&¨&&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨&&¨&&&¨&
&¨¨&&&&&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&&
¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&&&¨&¨&¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&¨¨&&&&&
&&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨¨&&¨&& &¨¨&&&&¨¨¨
&&&&¨&¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨&&&&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&&&¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨&¨¨¨&& &¨&¨¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &&&&¨&&&&&
&¨&&&¨&¨&& --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&&&¨¨&&&&¨ ¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ¨¨¨¨&&&&¨¨
&&¨&&&&¨¨& --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&¨& --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &¨¨¨&&¨¨&&
¨&&¨&¨¨&&& --# AND AT EASE #-- ¨&¨¨&¨&¨&¨
¨&¨&&&¨&¨¨ ¨&&¨&&&&&&
&&&&¨¨&&&¨ --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨&¨&¨¨& --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &&&&¨&¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨&&&&¨& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&¨&¨&¨¨¨&& &¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
&&&&&&¨¨&¨ --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- &&¨¨&&¨&&¨
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- ¨¨&¨&¨&&¨&
¨&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ¨¨&&&&&¨&&
&&&¨¨¨&¨¨& --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&¨¨&¨¨&&¨& --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ¨¨&&¨¨¨&¨&
¨&¨&&¨&¨&& ¨¨&¨&¨¨&&&
&&&&¨&&&&¨ ---------------------------------------- &¨&&&&¨&¨¨
:::-: : --: : -: :-
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.