RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.......... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..##.....#
.######### #....###..
..######## THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..##..#..#
...####### THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..........
##..###### ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ##########
#....##### CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ##########
..##..#### .#########
.......##. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ..#######.
######.... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...#####..
.####..##. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ##..###...
..##...... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .....#..##
.....##### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ####......
####..#### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .##..#####
###....##. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ......####
##..##.... .####..###
#......### IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..##....##
..####..## CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #....##..#
...##..... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..##......
##....#### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .....#####
#..##..### OPERATION. ####..####
........## .##....###
.######..# SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ....##..#.
..####.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .##.......
#..##..##. ....######
.......... ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .##..#####
.######### ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ......###.
..######## #####..#..
#..######. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ####.....#
....####.. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ###..###..
###..##... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ##....#..#
##......## ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ...##.....
...####... ##....###.
##..##..## ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #..##..#..
.......... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ..........
########## ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ##########
########## ##########
########## ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ##########
########## ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ##########
########## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ##########
########## ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ##########
########## ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ##########
########## ##########
########## ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ##########
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.