RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
##¨¨#¨¨### ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨#¨###¨##¨
###¨¨#¨#¨# ¨¨¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨##¨¨¨¨¨# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #¨¨¨¨¨¨##¨
¨¨###¨¨¨¨# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ##¨¨¨¨¨##¨
¨¨#¨##¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨##¨¨¨¨###
#¨¨¨###¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨###¨¨¨#¨#
##¨¨#¨##¨¨ ¨#¨##¨¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨¨###¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨###¨¨¨#
¨###¨¨#¨## THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨#¨##¨¨¨
¨#¨##¨¨¨## IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨###¨¨
¨¨¨###¨¨#¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨#¨##¨
¨¨¨#¨##¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨###
#¨¨¨¨###¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨#
##¨¨¨#¨##¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨¨¨### ¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨#
¨###¨¨¨#¨# IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨###¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨#¨##¨¨¨¨# CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨#¨##¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨###¨¨¨# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨##¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #¨¨#¨##¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨###¨¨ OPERATION. ##¨¨¨###¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨#¨##¨ ###¨¨#¨##¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨### SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #¨##¨¨¨###
#¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨# NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨###¨¨#¨#
##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# ¨¨#¨##¨¨¨#
¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨# ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨###¨¨#
¨###¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ #¨¨¨#¨##¨¨
¨#¨##¨¨¨¨¨ ¨#¨¨¨¨###¨
¨¨¨###¨¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨#¨¨¨#¨##
#¨¨#¨##¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨##
##¨¨¨###¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨#¨
###¨¨#¨##¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨
#¨##¨¨¨### ¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨
¨¨###¨¨#¨# ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ #¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨
¨¨#¨##¨¨¨# ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ##¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨
¨¨¨¨###¨¨# ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ###¨¨¨¨¨¨#
#¨¨¨#¨##¨¨ #¨##¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨#¨¨¨¨###¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨###¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨#¨¨¨#¨## ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨#¨##¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨## ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ #¨¨¨###¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨#¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ##¨¨#¨##¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨##¨¨¨###¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨ ¨###¨¨#¨##
#¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨#¨##¨¨¨##
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¨ ¨ § ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.