RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION                     
                                                              
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» §¨¨¨§§§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨                                          ¨§¨¨§¨§§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS  A VERY  COMMON  TOOL IN ¨¨§¨¨¨§§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN  SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨§¨¨§¨§§
§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO  VAST AMOUNTS  OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§§
§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT  OF TIME. §¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨
§§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨                                          ¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨
§¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON  THE  PRINCIPLES  OF POSING ¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨§§§¨¨§¨¨ THE PROBLEM  ON A  HILBERT PLANE,  WHICH §¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨§¨§§¨¨§¨ IS  THEN  FOLDED  OUT OF  CAUSALITY,  SO §§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨§§§¨¨§ THAT  DAEMONS  CAN  SOLVE   THE  PROBLEM ¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨§¨§§¨¨    WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE   ¨§§§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨§§§¨ DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE ¨§¨§§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨§¨§§         COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)          ¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨§§                                          ¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   ¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨ CLERKS TO  PRAY  TO THE  "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨ COMPUTER,  OR TO  THE  DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§
§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨ WORK,  FOR   A  QUICK   AND  FAULT  FREE §¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨§
§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§                OPERATION.                ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨                                          ¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨§§§¨¨§¨¨¨      SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY       ¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§¨§§¨¨§¨¨    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    ¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨                                          §¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨§      »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»»      ¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨        »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»»        ¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§¨§§¨                                          §¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§     »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»»     §§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨§    »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»»    ¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§     »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»»     ¨§§§¨¨§¨¨¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§           »»# AND AT EASE #»»            ¨§¨§§¨¨§¨¨
¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨                                          ¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨     »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»»     ¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨§
§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨     »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»»     §¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨
¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨   »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»»   §§¨¨¨§¨§§¨
¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨¨                                          §§§¨¨¨¨§§§
§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§¨    »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»»   §¨§§¨¨¨§¨§
§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨§    »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»»     ¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨§
¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨     »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»»    ¨¨§¨§§¨¨¨§
¨§§§¨¨§¨¨¨     »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»»      §¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨
¨§¨§§¨¨§¨¨       »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»»        §§¨¨§¨§§¨¨
¨¨¨§§§¨¨§¨                                          ¨§§¨¨¨§§§¨
¨¨¨§¨§§¨¨§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨§§§¨¨§¨§§
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           WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF           
           TO     BE    A    KIND     OF    PRAYER?           
           AS   IN,   YOU    MAKE   A   CONVOLUTED,           
           INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,    AND   USELESS           
           ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,  YOU'RE   USING  YOUR           
           SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING,           
                                                              
           ...I'D  ASK  FOR   A  HANDFUL  OF  BUGS?           
                                                              
           CODE    HAS    BUGS,   LOTS    OF    IT.