RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&&&&&&¨ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&&&&&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&¨¨&&&&&&
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
&&&&&&&&&& &&¨¨&&¨¨¨&
&&&&&&&&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&&&&&&&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&&&¨¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&¨¨&¨¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&&&¨¨&¨
&&&&&&&&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&&&&&& ¨¨&&¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&&&&&&&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨&&&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&&&&¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&&¨¨&¨¨
&&&¨¨&&&¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨¨& OPERATION. ¨&&¨¨&&&¨¨
¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨&&&&¨¨¨&&
&¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&& --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&¨ --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ &&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&¨¨& --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- ¨&&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ¨¨&&&&&&&&
&&&&&¨¨&&¨ --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &¨¨&&&&&&&
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ --# AND AT EASE #-- ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
&&&¨¨&&&&¨ &&&¨¨&&&&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &&¨¨¨¨&&&&
&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &¨¨&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&& --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨&&&&¨¨&&& ¨&&&&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ¨¨&&&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&&¨¨&&&&¨ --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨& &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ ---------------------------------------- ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
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- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.