RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#..#####.. »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» .#........
....###... ...######.
###..#..## THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ##..####..
.#........ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. #....##...
...####### ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..##....##
.#..###### CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .....##...
.....##### ####....##
.###..###. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ###..##...
..#....#.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ##......##
....##...# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO #..####...
###....#.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ....##..##
##..##.... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .##......#
#......### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ....####..
..####..#. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ###..##...
#..##..... ##......##
......#### IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #..####..#
.####..### CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ....##....
..##....## COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .##....###
.....##..# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ....##..#.
####...... OPERATION. .##.......
.##..####. ....#####.
......##.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .##..###..
#####..... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ......#..#
####..#### #####.....
.##....##. »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ####..###.
....##.... »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ###....#..
###....### ##..##...#
##..##..## »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» #......#..
.........# »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ..####....
########.. »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» #..##..###
#######... »»# AND AT EASE #»» ........##
######..## #######..#
#####..... »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ######....
.###..#### »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» #####..##.
..#....##. »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» .###......
#...##.... ..#..#####
..#....##. »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ......####
....##.... »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» #####..##.
###....##. »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» .###......
.#..##.... »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ..#..####.
.......### »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ......##..
######..## #####....#
#####..... »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ####..##..
^^^»^ ^ »»^ ^ »^ ^»
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
. . * .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.