RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&¨&&&¨& ======================================== ¨&&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&&& &¨&&¨&¨&&¨
¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨&&&&¨&¨
&&¨&&&&¨&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨&&¨¨¨&&&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&¨¨&¨¨&&
&¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&¨&&¨&¨&
&&&¨&&¨&&¨ ¨¨&&¨&&&&¨
¨¨&&¨&&¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&&
¨&¨&&¨&&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&¨&¨¨&¨&
&&&¨&&¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨&&&¨&&&&
¨¨&&¨&¨¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&&¨¨&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨&¨&¨¨¨¨
&&&¨¨&¨&&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&&¨&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&&¨¨ &¨¨¨&&¨¨&&
&¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&&&&&&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&&&&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨&¨¨¨¨&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨& OPERATION. &&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨&&¨¨&¨ ¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨&
&&¨&¨&¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨¨&&&&&&
¨&&&&&&¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ &&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨&& ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&&¨&¨& ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&&&&& ¨&¨&¨¨¨&&&
&¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== &&&&¨¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ¨¨&&&¨&¨&¨
&&&¨&¨¨¨¨& ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨&¨¨&&&&&¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&& &&¨&¨¨¨¨&&
¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨& ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== ¨&&&¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨&&¨&&&& ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== &¨¨&¨¨&&&&
¨&&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== &¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨ &&¨&&&¨¨¨¨
&&¨&&&¨¨¨¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨& ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== &¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== &&&&¨&¨&&¨
&&&&¨&¨&&& ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ¨¨¨&&&&¨&&
¨¨¨&&&&¨¨& ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&& ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨¨
¨&&¨¨&&&¨¨ ======================================== &¨&¨&&&&¨¨
---=- - ==- - =- -=
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.