RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨§¨¨§§¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» §¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ¨¨§§¨¨¨§§§
§¨¨§§§§§¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§§
¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. §§§§¨¨¨¨¨§
¨§§¨¨§¨¨§§ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨§§¨¨§§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§
¨§§§§§§§§§ §§§§§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§§§§§§§ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING §§§§¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨§§§§§§§ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH §§§¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨§§§§§§ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO §§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM §¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§§§¨¨§§§§ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨¨¨§§§ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨§§¨¨§§¨
¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ¨¨¨§§§§§§§
§§¨¨§§§§¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND §§¨¨§§§§§§
§¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§
¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE §§§§¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨¨¨§§§§¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨§§¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§§§¨¨§§¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§ ¨§§¨¨¨¨§§¨
¨¨¨¨§§§§¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
§§§¨¨§§¨¨§ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨§§¨¨¨¨§§§
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§
§¨¨§§§§§§§ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨¨¨¨§§§§§§ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» §§¨¨§§§§¨¨
§§§¨¨§§§§§ §¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§
§§¨¨¨¨§§§§ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨§§¨¨§§¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» §§§§¨¨§§¨¨
¨¨¨§§§§§§§ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§¨¨§§§§§§ ¨¨¨¨§§§§§§
§¨¨¨¨§§§§§ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» §§§¨¨§§§§§
¨¨§§¨¨§§§§ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» §§¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨¨¨§§¨¨§§¨
§§§§§§¨¨§§ §§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§§§§¨¨¨¨§ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» §¨¨§§§§§§¨
¨¨§§¨¨§§¨¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨¨¨¨§§§§¨¨
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» §§§¨¨§§¨¨§
¨¨§§§§§§§§ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» §§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§¨¨§§§§§§§ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» §¨¨§§§§§§§
¨¨¨¨§§§§§§ ¨¨¨¨§§§§§§
¨§§¨¨§§§§§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨§§¨¨§§§§¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.