RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&&&¨¨¨&&&& &&&¨¨¨¨&&&
&&¨¨&¨¨&&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&¨¨&&¨¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&&&&&&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&&&&&&¨¨
&¨¨&&&&&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨&&&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨&&&&&& &&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
&&&¨¨&&&&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&&¨¨¨¨&&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨&&&&¨¨&&
&¨¨&&¨¨&&& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&&&&&&¨¨&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨ &&&&¨¨&&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&&&&&&&&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨&&&&&&¨¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨&&&&&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨&&& OPERATION. ¨¨&&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
¨&&&&&&¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨&&&¨¨¨¨&&
&¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨¨&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨¨&&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&&¨ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &¨¨&&&&&&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
&&&&&&&¨¨& ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨&&¨¨&&&&&
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&&&&¨¨&&& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
&&&&¨¨¨¨&& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
&&&¨¨&&¨¨¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& &&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨&&¨¨&&&&¨
&&¨¨&&¨¨&& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ¨¨&&¨¨&&&&
&&&&&&&&&¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&&&&&&&&¨¨ ¨¨&&&&¨¨&&
&&&&&&&¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.