RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&&&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨& ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨¨&¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨ OPERATION. &&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨ &&&¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&&¨¨&¨¨&
&¨¨¨&&&¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
&¨¨&¨¨&¨&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨&& &¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &&¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&&¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨&¨¨& ¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨¨&¨&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.