RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#¨¨#¨#¨#¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ##¨¨¨#¨¨¨#
#¨######¨# ¨#¨¨##¨¨#¨
##¨¨¨¨¨### THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ##¨#¨#¨###
¨#¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨######¨¨¨
##¨¨¨##¨¨# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨
¨#¨¨#¨#¨## CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #¨¨¨¨##¨¨#
##¨#####¨# #¨¨¨#¨#¨##
¨##¨¨¨¨##¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #¨¨#####¨¨
#¨#¨¨¨#¨## THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #¨#¨¨¨¨#¨¨
###¨¨###¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ###¨¨¨##¨#
¨¨#¨#¨¨#¨# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨#¨¨#¨##¨
¨####¨###¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨##¨###¨#¨
#¨¨¨##¨¨#¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #¨##¨¨###¨
#¨¨#¨#¨### COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ##¨#¨#¨¨##
#¨#####¨¨# ¨#####¨#¨¨
##¨¨¨¨#¨#¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #¨¨¨¨###¨#
¨#¨¨¨####¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #¨¨¨#¨¨##¨
##¨¨#¨¨¨#¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #¨¨##¨#¨#¨
¨#¨##¨¨### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE #¨#¨######
###¨#¨#¨¨¨ OPERATION. ####¨¨¨¨¨#
¨¨#####¨¨# ¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨
¨#¨¨¨¨#¨#¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨##¨¨¨##¨
##¨¨¨####¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨#¨#¨¨#¨#¨
¨#¨¨#¨¨¨## ####¨#####
##¨##¨¨#¨# »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» ¨¨¨##¨¨¨¨#
¨##¨#¨###¨ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨#¨#¨¨¨#¨
#¨####¨¨#¨ ¨####¨¨##¨
##¨¨¨#¨### »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» #¨¨¨#¨#¨##
¨#¨¨###¨¨¨ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» #¨¨#####¨¨
##¨#¨¨#¨¨# »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» #¨#¨¨¨¨#¨¨
¨###¨##¨## »»# AND AT EASE #»» ###¨¨¨##¨#
#¨¨##¨##¨¨ ¨¨#¨¨#¨###
#¨#¨##¨#¨¨ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨##¨###¨¨¨
####¨###¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» #¨##¨¨#¨¨#
¨¨¨##¨¨#¨# »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ##¨#¨##¨#¨
¨¨#¨#¨#### ¨####¨###¨
¨#####¨¨¨¨ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» #¨¨¨##¨¨#¨
#¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨# »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» #¨¨#¨#¨##¨
#¨¨¨##¨¨## »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» #¨#####¨##
#¨¨#¨#¨#¨# »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ##¨¨¨¨##¨¨
#¨######## »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨#¨¨¨#¨#¨#
##¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ##¨¨#####¨
¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨¨# »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨#¨#¨¨¨¨##
---»- - »»- - »- -»
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ § ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.