RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.....&&&.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ......&.&&
&....&.&&. ........&&
&&.....&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ........&.
&&&....&.& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..........
&.&&...... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..........
..&&&..... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &.........
..&.&&.... .&........
....&&&... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ..&.......
....&.&&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &..&......
......&&&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&..&.....
......&.&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .&&..&....
........&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&&&..&...
........&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .&.&&..&..
.......... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ...&&&..&.
.......... ...&.&&..&
&......... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .....&&&..
.&........ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .....&.&&.
..&....... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .......&&&
&..&...... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .......&.&
&&..&..... OPERATION. .........&
.&&..&.... &........&
.&&&..&... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&........
.&.&&..&.. NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..&.......
...&&&..&. ...&......
...&.&&..& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ....&.....
.....&&&.. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ .....&....
.....&.&&. &.....&...
.......&&& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .&.....&..
.......&.& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ..&.....&.
.........& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &..&.....&
&........& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &&..&.....
.&........ .&&..&....
..&....... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ .&&&..&...
...&...... ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .&.&&..&..
....&..... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ...&&&..&.
.....&.... ...&.&&..&
&.....&... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &....&&&..
.&.....&.. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .&...&.&&.
..&.....&. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ..&....&&&
&..&.....& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ...&...&.&
&&..&..... ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &...&....&
.&&..&.... &&...&...&
.&&&..&... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .&&...&...
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.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.