RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &&¨¨&&&¨¨&
¨¨&&&¨¨&&¨ ¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&&&&¨&&&
¨&&&¨&&&&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨&¨&¨¨&¨&¨
¨&&¨&¨&¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&&&&¨&&&&
&&¨&&&&&¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&&¨¨&¨&¨¨
&&&¨&¨¨¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&¨&¨&&&&¨
&¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨&&&&¨¨¨&
¨&¨&¨¨&¨&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&
&&&&&¨&&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨&&¨¨&&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨&¨&¨&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&&&&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨&&&&& ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨&&¨&&¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨&&¨&¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&¨&&&¨¨¨&
&&¨&&¨&&&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&&¨¨&¨¨&
¨¨&&¨&&¨¨& OPERATION. ¨&&¨&¨&&¨&
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ¨&¨&&&&¨&&
¨&&&&¨&&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&¨¨¨&&¨
¨&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&
&&&¨¨&¨&¨¨ &¨¨¨&&¨&&&
¨¨¨&¨&&&&¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &&¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &¨&¨&&&¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨& &&&&&¨¨&&&
&¨¨&&¨&&¨& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« ¨¨¨¨¨&¨&¨¨
&&¨&¨&&¨&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« ¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨
&¨&&&&¨&&¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨¨&&¨& ««# AND AT EASE #«« &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&&¨&¨¨&¨&& &&¨¨¨&¨&¨&
¨¨&&&¨&&&¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &¨&¨¨&&&&&
&¨&¨¨&&¨¨& ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨&&&¨&¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨&¨&¨& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨&¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&¨¨¨&&&&&& &&&¨&¨¨&¨¨
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &¨¨&&&¨&&¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&¨&¨¨&&¨&
¨&&&&¨&¨¨¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨&&&¨&¨&&
&&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« ¨¨&¨¨&&&&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨¨&¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &¨&&¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨&&¨&& &&&¨&&&¨¨&
&&¨¨&&¨&&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.