RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨@¨¨¨¨¨@@¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @¨@¨¨¨¨@@¨
@@¨¨¨¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨¨¨@¨@¨
¨@¨¨¨@@¨@¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @¨@¨¨@@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ OPERATION. @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
@@¨¨@¨@¨@¨ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
¨@¨@@¨@¨@¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @¨@¨@¨@¨@¨
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.