RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&......& ---------------------------------------- ..&&..&...
....&&&&.. &.......&&
.&&..&&..& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..&&&&&...
.......... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &..&&&..&&
.&&&&&&&&& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ....&.....
..&&&&&&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&...&&&&
...&&&&&&& &&..&..&&.
&&..&&&&&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &.........
.....&&&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ..&&&&&&&.
&&&&..&..& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...&&&&&..
.&&....... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&..&&&...
....&&&&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .....&..&&
.&&..&&&&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&&&......
......&&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&&..&&&&&
.&&&&..&&& ......&&&.
..&&....&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&&&..&..
&....&&..& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ..&&.....&
..&&...... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &....&&&..
&....&&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ..&&..&..&
..&&..&&&& OPERATION. &.........
&......&&& ..&&&&&&&&
..&&&&..&. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &..&&&&&&&
...&&..... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ....&&&&&.
&&....&&&& .&&..&&&..
...&&..&&& --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ......&...
&&......&. --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &&&&&...&&
&..&&&&... &&&&..&..&
....&&..&. --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- .&&.......
&&&....... --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ....&&&&&&
&&..&&&&&. --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &&&..&&&&&
&....&&&.. --# AND AT EASE #-- &&....&&&&
..&&..&..& ...&&..&&&
.......... --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &&......&.
&&&&&&&&&. --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &..&&&&...
.&&&&&&&.. --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- ....&&..&.
..&&&&&... .&&.......
&..&&&..&& --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- ....&&&&&&
....&....& --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- .&&..&&&&&
.&&...&&.. --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- ......&&&.
....&....& --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &&&&&..&..
&&&...&&.. --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &&&&.....&
&&..&....& &&&..&&&..
......&&.. ---------------------------------------- .&....&...
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.