RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&&&....&& ======================================== &.&..&&...
.&.&&...&& &..&.&&&..
...&&&..&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&...&.&&.
...&.&&... THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&&....&&&
&....&&&.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&&&...&.&
&&...&.&&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .&.&&....&
.&&....&&& ...&&&...&
.&&&...&.& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &..&.&&...
.&.&&....& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&...&&&..
...&&&...& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..&..&.&&.
...&.&&... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ...&...&&&
&....&&&.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ....&..&.&
&&...&.&&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .....&...&
.&&....&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ......&..&
.&&&...&.& .......&..
.&.&&....& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &.......&.
...&&&...& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .&.......&
&..&.&&... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..&.......
.&...&&&.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &..&......
..&..&.&&. OPERATION. &&..&.....
...&...&&& &&&..&....
....&..&.& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &.&&..&...
.....&...& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..&&&..&..
......&..& ..&.&&..&.
.......&.. ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== ....&&&..&
&.......&. ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== ....&.&&..
.&.......& ......&&&.
..&....... ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== &.....&.&&
&..&...... ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== .&......&&
&&..&..... ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== ..&.....&.
&&&..&.... ==# AND AT EASE #== ...&......
&.&&..&... ....&.....
..&&&..&.. ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== &....&....
..&.&&..&. ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== .&....&...
....&&&..& ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ..&....&..
....&.&&.. &..&....&.
......&&&. ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== &&..&....&
&.....&.&& ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== &&&..&....
.&......&& ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== &.&&..&...
..&.....&. ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== ..&&&..&..
...&...... ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== ..&.&&..&.
....&..... ....&&&..&
&....&.... ======================================== ....&.&&..
...=. . ==. . =. .=
. .. . . . .. .
. . % .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.