RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨¨&¨¨&&&¨
&&&¨¨¨&&&& ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨&&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&&&&¨¨&&&
¨&&&&&&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨¨
&¨¨&&¨¨&&& ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&&&&&&¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &&&¨¨&&&&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨¨¨¨&&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&¨¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨¨&&&&&&&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ ¨¨¨¨&&&&&&
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨&&¨¨&&&&&
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &&&&&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&&&&&&& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨&&&&&& OPERATION. &&&¨¨&&&&&
&¨¨¨¨&&&&& &&¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨¨&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&&&&¨¨¨¨ ¨&&&&&&¨¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨&&¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨¨&&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨&&&&& ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &&&&&¨¨&&&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &&&&¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&&&&¨¨&& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨&&¨¨&&¨¨¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨¨¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&&& ¨&&&&&&¨¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨¨&&&&¨¨&&
¨¨&&&&¨¨¨¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« ¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨&&¨¨&&& ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&& ¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&& ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
&&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&&
&&¨¨&&&&&& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&&&&¨¨&&&
&¨¨¨¨&&&&¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &&&&¨¨¨¨&&
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨¨ ¨&&¨¨&&¨¨&
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
---«- - ««- - «- -«
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.