RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.....&&... »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ...&......
&&&&....&. &&...&&&&&
&&&..&&... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &..&..&&&&
&&......&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .......&&&
&..&&&&... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&&&..&&
....&&..&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&....&
.&&....... &&&&..&&..
....&&&&&. MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&&......&
.&&..&&&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&..&&&&..
......&... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &....&&..&
.&&&&...&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&&......
..&&..&... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &....&&&&&
........&& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ..&&..&&&.
&&&&&&&... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .......&..
.&&&&&..&& &&&&&&....
..&&&..... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&&&..&&&
...&..&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ..&&....&.
&&.....&&. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .....&&...
...&&&.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &&&&....&.
&&..&..&&& OPERATION. &&&..&&...
........&& &&......&.
&&&&&&&..& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...&&&&...
.&&&&&.... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&..&&..&.
..&&&..&&& ..........
&..&....&& »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» &&&&&&&&&&
.....&&... »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» &&&&&&&&&&
.&&&....&& &&&&&&&&&.
..&..&&... »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» &&&&&&&&..
&.......&& »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» &&&&&&&..&
..&&&&&..& »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» &&&&&&....
&..&&&.... »»# AND AT EASE #»» &&&&&..&&&
....&..&&& &&&&....&&
.&&.....&& »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» &&&..&&...
....&&&..& »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» &&......&&
.&&..&.... »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» &..&&&&...
.......&&& ....&&..&&
.&&&&&..&& »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» .&&.......
..&&&..... »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ....&&&&&&
...&..&&&& »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» &&&..&&&&.
&&.....&&. »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» &&....&&..
...&&&.... »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ...&&.....
&&..&..&&. &&....&&&&
&......... »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ...&&..&&&
^^^»^ ^ »»^ ^ »^ ^»
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
. . % .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.