RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨&&&¨¨&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨¨&¨&&&&
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨ ¨&¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&&&&¨&&&&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&&¨&¨¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &&¨&&&¨&&¨
&&¨¨&¨&¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&&¨¨&&¨&
¨¨&¨&&&&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&¨&¨&¨&&
&¨&&&¨¨¨&& &¨¨&&&&&&¨
&&&¨¨&¨¨&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨¨&¨&&¨&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨&&&&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&&&¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&¨&¨¨&&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&&¨¨&&¨¨&
&&&&&¨&¨&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&¨&¨&¨&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&&&&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨¨&&&&&&&&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨&&¨¨& &¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&&¨&¨¨¨¨¨
&&&&¨&&&&& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
&¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨&¨&¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨&&¨&&¨¨
&¨&¨&&&&¨¨ OPERATION. ¨&¨&¨&&¨&¨
&&&&&¨¨¨&¨ ¨&&&&&¨&&&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&& &&&&¨¨&&&&
&¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨¨¨&¨&¨¨¨
&&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨&¨¨&&&&¨¨
&¨&¨¨&&¨&& ¨&&¨&¨¨¨&¨
&&&&¨&¨&&¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨&¨&&&¨¨&&
¨¨¨¨&&&&¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &&&&¨¨&¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨&&&&
&¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨
&&¨¨&¨&¨&& &¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&&&&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨&¨¨&&¨&&¨
&&&&&¨¨¨¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &&&¨&¨&&¨&
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨&&&&¨&&
&¨¨¨¨&&¨¨& ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&¨
&&¨¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨&&¨¨&¨&
¨¨&¨¨&&&&& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨¨&¨&¨&&&
&¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨¨&&&&&¨¨
&&&¨&&&¨¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &¨&&&¨¨¨&&
¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨ ¨&&¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨&&&&&&&¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨&¨&¨&&¨&&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.