RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
....@@@... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..@...@...
....@.@@.. @..@...@..
......@@@. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .@..@...@.
......@.@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..@..@...@
@.......@@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ...@..@...
.@......@. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ....@..@..
..@....... .....@..@.
...@...... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ......@..@
@...@..... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .......@..
.@...@.... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ........@.
..@...@... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @........@
@..@...@.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @@........
.@..@...@. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@@.......
..@..@...@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @.@@......
...@..@... ..@@@.....
....@..@.. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ..@.@@....
.....@..@. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @...@@@...
......@..@ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE @@..@.@@..
.......@.. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .@@...@@@.
........@. OPERATION. .@@@..@.@@
@........@ .@.@@...@@
@@........ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ...@@@..@.
@@@....... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @..@.@@...
@.@@...... @@...@@@..
..@@@..... ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @@@..@.@@.
..@.@@.... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ @.@@...@@@
@...@@@... ..@@@..@.@
@@..@.@@.. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ..@.@@...@
.@@...@@@. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ....@@@..@
.@@@..@.@@ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ....@.@@..
.@.@@...@@ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ......@@@.
...@@@..@. ......@.@@
@..@.@@... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ........@@
@@...@@@.. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ @.......@.
@@@..@.@@. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ @@........
@.@@...@@@ .@@.......
..@@@..@.@ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ .@@@......
..@.@@...@ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ .@.@@.....
....@@@..@ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ...@@@....
....@.@@.. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ @..@.@@...
......@@@. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ .@...@@@..
......@.@@ ..@..@.@@.
........@@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @..@...@@@
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- -- - - . -. .
. . % .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.