RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨#¨#¨¨## ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨#¨¨¨#¨¨#
¨¨####¨#¨¨ ###¨¨##¨##
¨#¨¨¨###¨# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨#¨#¨##¨#
##¨¨#¨¨##¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨#####¨###
¨#¨##¨#¨## ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨
###¨####¨# CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #¨¨¨#¨#¨¨¨
¨¨##¨¨¨##¨ #¨¨####¨¨#
¨#¨#¨¨#¨## MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING #¨#¨¨¨#¨##
####¨###¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ###¨¨###¨#
¨¨¨##¨¨#¨# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨#¨#¨¨##¨
¨¨#¨#¨###¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨####¨#¨#¨
¨#####¨¨#¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE #¨¨¨#####¨
#¨¨¨¨#¨### DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE #¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨
#¨¨¨###¨¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) #¨##¨¨¨###
#¨¨#¨¨#¨¨# ##¨#¨¨#¨¨¨
#¨##¨##¨## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨###¨##¨¨#
##¨##¨##¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR #¨¨##¨#¨#¨
¨##¨##¨#¨# COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #¨#¨######
#¨##¨##### WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ####¨¨¨¨¨#
##¨##¨¨¨¨¨ OPERATION. ¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨
¨##¨#¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨##¨¨¨###
#¨###¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨#¨#¨¨#¨¨#
##¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ####¨##¨#¨
¨#¨##¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨##¨####
###¨#¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨#¨##¨¨¨#
¨¨###¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ¨###¨#¨¨#¨
¨#¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨ #¨¨###¨##¨
##¨##¨¨¨¨# ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #¨#¨¨##¨#¨
¨##¨#¨¨¨## ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ###¨#¨####
#¨###¨¨#¨# ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨####¨¨¨#
##¨¨#¨###¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨#¨¨¨#¨¨#¨
¨#¨###¨¨#¨ ##¨¨##¨###
###¨¨#¨### ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨#¨#¨##¨¨#
¨¨#¨###¨¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ #####¨#¨#¨
¨###¨¨#¨¨# ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨¨#####¨
#¨¨#¨##¨#¨ ¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨#¨
#¨###¨###¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨##¨¨¨###
##¨¨##¨¨#¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨#¨#¨¨#¨¨¨
¨#¨#¨#¨### ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ####¨##¨¨#
#######¨¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨¨##¨#¨##
¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨# ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨#¨####¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨##¨## ¨###¨¨¨#¨¨
¨¨¨¨#¨##¨# ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨¨#¨¨##¨¨
---~- - ~~- - ~- -~
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.