RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.....@.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...@@...@.
@@@@...@@@ .@....@...
.@@..@..@@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ...@@...@.
.........@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @@....@...
@@@@@@@@.. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @..@@...@@
@@@@@@@... CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ......@..@
@@@@@@..@@ @@@@@.....
.@@@@..... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @@@@..@@@.
..@@..@@@@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @@@....@..
@......@@@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @@..@@...@
..@@@@..@@ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @......@..
@..@@..... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..@@@@...@
......@@@@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ...@@..@..
@@@@@..@@@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @@.......@
@@@@....@@ ...@@@@@..
.@@..@@... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @@..@@@...
........@@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .....@..@@
.@@@@@@..@ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE @@@@......
..@@@@.... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .@@..@@@@@
...@@..@@@ OPERATION. ......@@@.
@@......@@ .@@@@..@..
...@@@@... SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..@@......
@@..@@..@@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: @....@@@@@
@........@ ..@@..@@@@
..@@@@@@.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @......@@@
...@@@@... ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ..@@@@..@.
@@..@@..@@ ...@@.....
.......... ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ @@....@@@.
@@@@@@@@@@ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ @..@@..@..
.@@@@@@@@. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ..........
..@@@@@@.. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ @@@@@@@@@@
...@@@@..@ @@@@@@@@@.
@@..@@.... ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ .@@@@@@@..
.......@@. ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ..@@@@@...
@@@@@@.... ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ...@@@..@@
@@@@@..@@. @@..@....@
@@@@...... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ......@@..
.@@..@@@@. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ @@@@@.....
......@@.. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ @@@@..@@@@
.@@@@..... ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ @@@....@@.
..@@..@@@@ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ @@..@@....
@......@@@ @......@@@
..@@@@..@@ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..@@@@..@@
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.