RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨&¨&&&¨&&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨&¨&&¨&&¨
¨&&&¨¨&&¨& &¨&&&¨&&¨&
&&¨¨&¨&¨&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨&&¨¨&&¨&&
¨¨&¨&&&&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨&¨&¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&&&&&&&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨¨¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
¨&&&¨&&¨¨& &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨&¨¨&&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&&¨&¨&&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨&&&&¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&&
¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨&¨&&¨¨¨&¨
¨&&&&¨¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &&&&¨&¨¨&&
&&¨¨¨&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨¨&&&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&&&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨&¨¨&¨¨&&&
¨&&&¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨&&¨&&¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨&&&¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨&&¨&&&¨
¨&&¨&¨¨&¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨&&¨&&¨¨&
&&¨&&&¨&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨&¨&&¨&¨&
¨¨&&¨¨&&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&&&¨&&&&
&¨&¨&¨&¨&& OPERATION. ¨&&¨¨&&¨¨¨
&&&&&&&&&¨ ¨&¨&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &&&&&&&&&¨
&&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& &&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨& ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨&¨¨¨¨& ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&&¨&&&¨¨¨& ¨¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨¨&&¨¨&¨¨& ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &¨&&&&¨¨¨&
&¨&¨&¨&&¨& ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« ¨&&¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&&&&&¨&& ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &&¨&¨¨&&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨¨&&¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« &¨&&&¨&¨&&
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨& ¨&&¨¨&&&&¨
¨¨&&¨¨¨&&& ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ¨&¨&¨&¨¨¨&
&¨&¨&¨¨&¨¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &&&&&&&¨¨&
¨&&&&&¨&&¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨¨¨&&¨& &¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&& ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&&¨¨&&&¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &&&¨¨¨¨&&¨
¨¨&¨&¨&¨¨& ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &¨¨&¨¨¨&¨&
&¨&&&&&&¨& ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &&¨&&¨¨&&&
¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&& ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
¨&¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ &&&¨&&&&&¨
¨&&&&¨¨¨&& «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨¨¨&&¨¨¨¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.