RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..@..@..@@ ---------------------------------------- @@.@...@..
...@..@.@@ @@..@...@.
....@...@@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @@@..@...@
@....@..@. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @.@@..@...
.@....@... ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..@@@..@..
..@....@.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..@.@@..@.
...@....@. ....@@@..@
@...@....@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ....@.@@..
.@...@.... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ......@@@.
..@...@... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ......@.@@
@..@...@.. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ........@@
@@..@...@. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @.......@.
@@@..@...@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@........
@.@@..@... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .@@.......
..@@@..@.. .@@@......
..@.@@..@. IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .@.@@.....
....@@@..@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...@@@....
....@.@@.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ...@.@@...
......@@@. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .....@@@..
......@.@@ OPERATION. .....@.@@.
........@@ @......@@@
@.......@. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .@.....@.@
@@........ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ..@......@
.@@....... ...@.....@
.@@@...... --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- ....@.....
.@.@@..... --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- .....@....
...@@@.... ......@...
...@.@@... --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- .......@..
.....@@@.. --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- ........@.
.....@.@@. --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- .........@
@......@@@ --# AND AT EASE #-- ..........
.@.....@.@ @.........
..@......@ --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- .@........
...@.....@ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- ..@.......
....@..... --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- @..@......
.....@.... @@..@.....
......@... --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- .@@..@....
.......@.. --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- .@@@..@...
........@. --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- .@.@@..@..
.........@ --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- ...@@@..@.
.......... --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- ...@.@@..@
@......... .....@@@..
.@........ ---------------------------------------- .....@.@@.
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.