RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&&¨&&¨¨&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&¨&¨¨¨&¨
¨&&¨¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨¨&&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& OPERATION. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨¨&¨&¨& &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&¨&&¨&¨& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
...~. . ~~. . ~. .~
. .. . . ¨ .¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.