RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@ ======================================== @@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
@@@@@@@¨¨¨ @¨¨@@@@@@@
@@@@@@¨¨@@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨¨@@@@@@
@@@@@¨¨¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @@@¨¨@@@@@
@@@@¨¨@@@@ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨@¨¨¨¨@@@@
@@@¨¨¨¨@@@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨¨¨@@¨¨@@@
@@¨¨@@¨¨@@ ¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨@@
@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨@@@@¨¨@
¨¨@@@@@@¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @@¨¨@@¨¨¨¨
@¨¨@@@@¨¨@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO @¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@
¨¨¨¨@@¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨@@@@¨¨@@
¨@@¨¨¨¨@@@ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨@@¨¨@@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@¨¨¨¨@@@@
¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @¨¨@@¨¨@@¨
¨¨¨¨@@@@¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
@@@¨¨@@¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @@@@@@@@@@
@@¨¨¨¨¨¨@@ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @@@@@@@@@@
@¨¨@@@@¨¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨@@@@@@@@@
¨¨¨¨@@¨¨@@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨@@@@@@@@
¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨@ OPERATION. @¨¨@@@@@@¨
¨¨¨¨@@@@¨¨ ¨¨¨¨@@@@¨¨
@@@¨¨@@¨¨@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨@@¨¨@@¨¨@
@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨@@@@@@¨ @@@@@@@@@¨
@@¨¨@@@@¨¨ ==# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #== @@@@@@@@¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨@@¨¨@ ==# FOR QUIET AND CALM #== @@@@@@@¨¨¨
@@@@¨¨¨¨¨¨ @@@@@@¨¨@@
@@@¨¨@@@@¨ ==# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #== ¨@@@@¨¨¨¨@
@@¨¨¨¨@@¨¨ ==# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #== ¨¨@@¨¨@@¨¨
¨¨¨@@¨¨¨¨@ ==# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #== @¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
@@¨¨¨¨@@¨¨ ==# AND AT EASE #== ¨¨@@@@@@@@
@¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨@@@@@@@
¨¨¨¨¨¨@@@@ ==# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #== @@¨¨@@@@@@
¨@@@@¨¨@@¨ ==# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #== @¨¨¨¨@@@@¨
¨¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨ ==# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #== ¨¨@@¨¨@@¨¨
@¨¨¨¨@@@@¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@
¨¨@@¨¨@@¨¨ ==# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #== @@@@@@@@¨¨
@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@ ==# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #== @@@@@@@¨¨@
¨¨@@@@@@¨¨ ==# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #== @@@@@@¨¨¨¨
@¨¨@@@@¨¨¨ ==# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #== @@@@@¨¨@@@
¨¨¨¨@@¨¨@@ ==# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #== @@@@¨¨¨¨@@
¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨@@¨¨@@¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨@@@@@@ ======================================== ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨@@
:::=: : ==: : =: :=
: :: : : ¨ :¨ ¨
¨ ¨ * ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.