RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..&....&&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .&&..&....
.&&...&..& &.&.&&....
&.&..&&.&& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &&&&.&....
&&&.&.&&.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ...&&&...&
..&&&&.&.& ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ..&..&..&.
.&...&&&&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. .&&.&&.&&.
&&..&...&& &.&&.&&.&.
.&.&&..&.& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&.&&.&&&&
&&&.&.&&&& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH .&&.&&...&
..&&&&.... IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &.&&.&..&.
.&...&.... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &&.&&&.&&.
&&..&&.... WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&&..&&.&.
.&.&.&...& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &.&.&.&&&&
&&&&&&..&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&&&&&...&
.....&.&&& .....&..&.
....&&&... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ....&&.&&.
...&..&... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ...&.&&.&.
..&&.&&... COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..&&&.&&&.
.&.&&.&... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .&..&&..&.
&&&.&&&... OPERATION. &&.&.&.&&.
..&&..&..& .&&&&&&.&&
.&.&.&&.&& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &.....&&.&
&&&&&.&&.& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &....&.&&&
....&&.&&. &...&&&...
...&.&&.&. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ &..&..&...
..&&&.&&&. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &.&&.&&...
.&..&&..&& &&.&&.&...
&&.&.&.&.& ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ .&&.&&&...
.&&&&&&&&& ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ &.&&..&..&
&......... ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&.&.&&.&&
&......... ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ .&&&&.&&..
&........& &...&&.&.&
&.......&. ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ &..&.&&&&.
&......&&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &.&&&...&&
&.....&..& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &&..&..&..
&....&&.&& .&.&&.&&.&
&...&.&&.. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&&.&&.&&.
&..&&&.&.& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ..&&.&&.&&
&.&..&&&&. ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .&.&&.&&..
&&&.&...&. ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&&.&&.&.&
..&&&..&&& ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ..&&.&&&&.
.&..&.&... .&.&&...&.
&&.&&&&..& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&.&..&&.
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
. . % .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.