RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
¨&¨&&&¨¨&¨ ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨&
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&¨¨&¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&&& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨& ¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨& OPERATION. &¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨ ¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨& ¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨¨ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨&¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨& ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ &&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.