RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
#¨####¨#¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨##¨#¨¨##¨
###¨¨¨###¨ ¨#¨###¨#¨#
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨¨# THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨###¨¨####
#¨¨##¨##¨# THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨#¨¨#¨#¨¨¨
##¨#¨##¨## ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ###¨####¨¨
#¨####¨##¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. #¨¨##¨¨¨#¨
###¨¨¨##¨# ##¨#¨#¨¨##
¨¨¨#¨¨#¨## MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨#####¨#¨
¨¨¨##¨###¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH #¨#¨¨¨¨###
#¨¨#¨##¨¨# IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨###¨¨¨#¨¨
##¨###¨#¨# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨#¨¨#¨¨##¨
#¨##¨¨#### WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨##¨##¨#¨#
¨##¨#¨#¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ##¨##¨####
##¨#####¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) #¨##¨##¨¨¨
#¨##¨¨¨¨#¨ ¨##¨##¨#¨¨
###¨#¨¨¨## IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨#¨##¨###¨
#¨¨###¨¨#¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ####¨##¨¨#
¨#¨#¨¨#¨## COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #¨¨¨##¨#¨#
#####¨###¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ##¨¨#¨####
¨¨¨¨¨##¨¨# OPERATION. #¨#¨###¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨#¨#¨# ¨####¨¨#¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨##### SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ##¨¨¨#¨##¨
¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨#¨¨###¨#
#¨¨¨¨##¨¨¨ #¨##¨#¨¨##
¨#¨¨¨#¨#¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨##¨###¨#¨
¨##¨¨####¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ##¨##¨¨###
##¨#¨#¨¨¨# ¨¨##¨#¨#¨¨
#¨#####¨¨# ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ #¨#¨#####¨
###¨¨¨¨#¨# ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨####¨¨¨¨#
¨¨¨#¨¨¨### ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨#¨¨¨#¨¨¨#
#¨¨##¨¨#¨¨ ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ###¨¨##¨¨#
¨#¨#¨#¨##¨ ¨¨¨#¨#¨#¨#
########¨# ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨¨#######
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨## ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ #¨¨##¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨## ¨#¨#¨#¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ¨######¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨## ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ##¨¨¨¨¨#¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨¨#¨¨¨¨##¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨## ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨¨##¨¨¨#¨#
#¨¨¨¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨¨#¨#¨¨###
¨#¨¨¨¨¨¨## ¨¨####¨#¨¨
¨##¨¨¨¨¨#¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ #¨#¨¨¨###¨
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~ ~~ ~ ~ ¨ ~¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.