RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &¨¨¨¨&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨¨&¨¨&¨&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨& ¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨&
¨&&&¨¨&¨¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨
¨&¨&&¨¨&¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&&&¨¨&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&
&¨¨&¨&&¨¨& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&&&¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&&& COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨&¨¨&¨& &¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨&¨¨¨& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨& OPERATION. ¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨& ¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&&
&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&&
&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&&&¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
&¨&&¨¨&¨¨¨ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&&&¨¨&¨¨ ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&&&¨¨& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨ ¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&&&¨ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨&¨ ¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &&¨¨¨¨¨&¨¨
¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨¨ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ¨&&&¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨¨ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ¨&¨&&¨¨¨¨¨
¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨¨ ¨¨¨&&&¨¨¨¨
¨¨&¨¨¨¨&¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ¨¨¨&¨&&¨¨¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.