RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
....@..@.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @.@....@.@
...@@.@@.@ @@@...@@@@
..@.@@.@@@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ..@..@...@
.@@@.@@..@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .@@.@@..@@
@..@@.@.@. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @.@@.@.@.@
@.@.@@@@@@ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @@.@@@@@@.
@@@@.....@ .@@.....@@
...@....@@ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @.@....@..
..@@...@.@ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH @@@...@@..
.@.@..@@@@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ..@..@.@..
@@@@.@.... THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM .@@.@@@@..
...@@@...@ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE @.@@...@.@
..@..@..@@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@.@..@@@@
.@@.@@.@.. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .@@@.@...@
@.@@.@@@.. @..@@@..@@
@@.@@..@.@ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND @.@..@.@..
.@@.@.@@@. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @@@.@@@@.@
@.@@@@..@. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ..@@...@@@
@@...@.@@@ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE .@.@..@...
.@..@@@... OPERATION. @@@@.@@..@
@@.@..@... ...@@.@.@@
.@@@.@@..@ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ..@.@@@@..
@..@@.@.@@ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .@@@...@..
@.@.@@@@.. @..@..@@.@
@@@@...@.. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ @.@@.@.@@.
...@..@@.. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ @@.@@@@.@@
..@@.@.@.@ .@@...@@.@
.@.@@@@@@@ ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ @.@..@.@@@
@@@....... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ @@@.@@@..@
..@......@ ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ..@@..@.@.
.@@.....@. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ .@.@.@@@@.
@.@....@@. @@@@@...@.
@@@...@.@@ ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ ....@..@@@
..@..@@@.@ ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ ...@@.@...
.@@.@..@@@ ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ ..@.@@@...
@.@@@.@..@ .@@@..@...
@@..@@@.@. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ @..@.@@..@
.@.@..@@@. ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ @.@@@.@.@.
@@@@.@..@@ ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ @@..@@@@@.
...@@@.@.@ ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ .@.@....@@
..@..@@@@@ ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ @@@@...@.@
.@@.@..... ...@..@@@@
@.@@@..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..@@.@...@
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.