RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
§§§¨¨¨¨§¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§
§§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨ ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN ¨¨¨§§§§¨¨§
¨¨§§§§¨¨§¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ¨§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨§§§§§¨¨§§
¨§§§§¨¨§§§ ¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING §¨¨§¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§§§¨¨¨¨§¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO §§§§§§¨¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨§§¨¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM §§§§§¨¨§§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§§¨¨¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE §§§¨¨§§§§§
§§§§§§¨¨§¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) ¨§¨¨¨¨§§§§
§§§§§¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨§§¨¨§§§
§§§§¨¨§§§§ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
§§§¨¨¨¨§§§ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ¨¨¨§§§§¨¨§
§§¨¨§§¨¨§¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
§§§§§§§§§§ OPERATION. §§§§§§¨¨¨¨
¨§§§§§§§§§ §§§§§¨¨§§¨
¨¨§§§§§§§¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY ¨§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
§¨¨§§§§§¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨§¨¨§§§§§
¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨§§¨¨§¨¨§§ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» §§§§§¨¨§§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§§§¨¨ ¨¨§¨¨§§§§§
§§§§§§§¨¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» §¨¨¨¨¨§§§§
§§§§§§¨¨§§ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨¨§§§¨¨§§§
§§§§§¨¨¨¨¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨§§
§§§§¨¨§§§§ »»# AND AT EASE #»» §§¨¨¨§§¨¨§
§§§¨¨¨¨§§§ §¨¨§¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§¨¨§§¨¨§§ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» §§§§¨¨§§¨¨
§§§§§§§§§§ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
§§§§§§§§§§ §§¨¨§§§§¨¨
¨§§§§§§§§§ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» §¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨
¨¨§§§§§§§¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§§
¨¨¨§§§§§¨¨ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» §¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨
§§¨¨§§§¨¨§ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§§
§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» §¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§
¨¨§§¨¨¨§§¨ ¨¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨
§¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.