RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..#######. «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« #....##..#
...#####.. ..##......
##..###... THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN #....#####
#....#..## THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. ..##..####
..##.....# ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL #......###
.....###.. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ..####..#.
####..#... ...##.....
.##.....## MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING ##....###.
....###... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ...##..#..
###..#..## IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ##.......#
##.......# THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM #..#####..
...#####.. WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ....###...
##..###... DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE .##..#..##
#....#..## COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .........#
..##...... ########..
#....##### IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND #######..#
..##..###. CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ######....
#......#.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE #####..###
..####...# WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ####....##
...##..#.. OPERATION. ###..##...
##.......# ##......##
#..#####.. SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY #..####..#
....###... NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ....##....
###..#..## ###....###
##........ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ##..##..##
#..####### ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« #........#
....#####. ..######..
###..###.. ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« #..####..#
##....#..# ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« ....##....
...##..... ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« .##....##.
##....#### ««# AND AT EASE #«« ....##....
...##..### ###....##.
##......## ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« ##..##....
...####..# ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« .......##.
##..##.... ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« ######....
.......### #####..##.
######..#. ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« ####......
.####..... ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« .##..####.
..##..###. ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ......##..
#......#.. ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« #####....#
..####...# ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« ####..##..
#..##..#.. .##......#
.......... «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ....####..
^^^«^ ^ ««^ ^ «^ ^«
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
. . † .
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.