LIFE                
                                    
                                    
                                          
    A MULTITUDE OF DEFINITIONS      
       DOES   NOT   HELP.   WE        
      CAN     SAY     "LIFE     IS      
       WHAT    WE    ARE,   AND       
       WHAT  THINGS  LIKE  US       
        ARE",   BUT   THEN   WE       
     MUST    ALSO    DEFINE    WHAT     
     "THINGS  LIKE  US"  ACTUALLY     
       ENTAILS, HOW  IT  SHOULD     
       BE   MEASURED,   WHO   OR      
     WHAT    IS     THE    ARBITER,     
       AND   SO  INSTEAD   THERE      
          IS   THIS    INTERNATIONALLY 
 SANCTIONED      LIST                  
          OF  CRITERIA          
                                          
 - LIFE MUST PRODUCE OR CONSUME MILK      
 - LIFE MUST HAVE A BEGINNING AND AN END  
 - LIFE CAN HAVE DREAMS AND CAN INTERACT  
 - LIFE CAN STEAL                         
 - LIFE CAN BE CURSED