dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything is completely  calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and  i   feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are  circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over my vision,  pressing in,  being 
 almost hostile. i  can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language,  sentences i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my  mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize i can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost  caustic in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely calm.  it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief,  such is my nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of  this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are  still tense though, scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen if you  wander too  far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a prick on  the  nose, that's 
 what  these  are. like you do with a cat 
 who comes to  close to your  sandwich...