dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,   and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then   the  fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over my vision, pressing  in,  being 
 almost hostile. i  can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my mind.  it's like 
 language,  sentences i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my mind,  and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then i  realize i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl  on the floor searching 
 relief,  such is my nature.  turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't    know   what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine  a  prick  on the nose, that's 
 what  these are. like  you do with a cat 
 who comes to close  to  your sandwich...