dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,   and  for  a  second 
 everything is  completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then   the  fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all  over  my vision, pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i can  feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my mind. it's  like 
 language, sentences  i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed  in my mind, and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i  realize i can't  hear  anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid melody,  almost  caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my  surroundings are entirely calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel helpless,  but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the  floor searching 
 relief, such is my  nature. turning  the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but time does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen if you  wander too  far, 
 i  guess? i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick  on  the nose, that's 
 what these are. like  you do with a  cat 
 who  comes to close  to your sandwich...