dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake   suddenly,  and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me  and   i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in  my mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then i  realize i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody, almost  caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely  calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on  the floor searching 
 relief,  such  is my nature. turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but  time does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen  if you wander too far, 
 i guess?  i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a prick on the  nose,  that's 
 what these are. like  you do with a  cat 
 who comes to  close to  your sandwich...