FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 ON  EARTH  (THE PLANET WHERE  I LIVE)  A 
 LOT OF US  HAVE  ANTENNAS  ON OUR HOUSES 
 OR   BALCONIES,   WE  HAVE  BUILT  LARGE 
 ANTENNAS FOR  LARGER  BANDWITH,  WE HAVE 
      BUILD SPECIALIZED ANTENNAES FOR     
   SPECIFIC WAVELENGTHS (AND SENT THEM    
 INTO ORBIT), WE'VE BUILT  LARGE  AS FUCK 
              ANTENNA ARRAYS              
 WE'VE VIRTUALLY BUILT AN ANTENNA  WITH A 
          DISH AS LARGE AS EARTH.         
                                          
 WE'VE LEARNED ABOUT OUR POSITION  IN THE 
     SOLAR SYSTEM, OUR SOLAR SYSTEMS      
 PLACEMENT   IN   THE  GALAXY,   AND  OUR 
 GALAXYS PLACEMENT  IN THE LOCAL CLUSTER, 
 AND  OUR  LOCAL CLUSTERS PLACE IN  THE 
          GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS          
                                          
 AND  WE'RE  MOVING  AROUND  THE  SUN  AT 
 VELOCITY AND THE SUNS MOVING AROUND  THE 
 CENTER  OF  THE  GALAXY  AT VELOCITY AND 
 THE GALAXY  IS  MOVING TOWARD  ANDROMEDA 
   AND WE'RE BOTH MOVING ANTICLOCKWISE    
 AROUND THE GALAXY. AND  WE AS  A SPECIES 
 HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE ALL THAT IN ACCOUNT 
                                          
 AND  DESPITE  ALL THIS, DESPITE  ALL OUR 
   (CLICHE) BEAMING OF FUCKING STELLAR    
 RADIO PROGRAMMES OUT  IN  FUCKING  SPACE 
 AT  THE SPEED  OF  LIGHT (LIGHT  IS  OUR 
 MEDIUM! GOODSPEED YOU, BLACK EMPEROR!),  
      DESPITE GHOSTS HELPING AND THE      
     COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS LOWPASS     
   FILTERING, DESPITE OUR VERY OBVIOUS    
 BEAMING  OF  ALL OUR  SECRETS  IN  EVERY 
          DIRECTION KNOWN TO US,          
                                          
 NO        ONE      HAS       ANSWERED 
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
              SO WHY IS THAT?             
                                          
 MOST  OPPONENTS  TO INTELLIGENT LIFE  IN 
 THE  UNIVERSE SAY IT'S BECAUSE YOU  NEED 
 A  CLASS  ONE-OR-THE-OTHER STAR AND  THE 
 PLANET  NEEDS  TO  BE  AT  A  SEE-AND-SO 
 DISTANCE AWAY  FROM THE STAR (LIKE THERE 
           HAS TO BE A PLANET!)           
                                          
 BUT  REALLY  ISN'T   THAT  KEEPING   THE 
      DEFINITION OF LIFE REALLY LAX?      
                                          
 I  THINK EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE HAVE NO 
 IDEA  WHAT WE'RE DOING (AND  IT PROBABLY 
                  SHOWS)                  
                                          
                          
      FERMI'S PARADOX       
                          
                                          
 I'M GONNA  GO SMOKE MY  THIRD  CIGARETTE 
 THIS YEAR AND  TRY TO  SNATCH SOME BEERS 
        FROM THE LOCAL BEER THING