dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and   for  a  second 
 everything is completely calm  and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to   piece   together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear   hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over  my vision, pressing  in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel  them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my mind. it's  like 
 language,  sentences i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed in  my mind,  and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then i  realize i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless, but  i  must  try  to 
 escape. to crawl on the floor  searching 
 relief, such  is my nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of  this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know   what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen  if you wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a  prick on the nose,  that's 
 what these are. like  you  do with a cat 
 who comes to  close to your  sandwich...