dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and   for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to   piece  together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits  me   and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all  over my  vision, pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i  can feel them squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in  my mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then i  realize i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must try  to 
 escape. to  crawl on the floor searching 
 relief, such is my  nature.  turning the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i   don't    know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can  happen if you wander too  far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't  be so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i  imagine a prick  on the nose,  that's 
 what these are. like you do  with a  cat 
 who comes to close  to  your sandwich...