dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and   for  a  second 
 everything is  completely  calm and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start  to  piece   together   my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear   hits  me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there  are circles and crosses inscribed 
 all over my  vision, pressing in,  being 
 almost  hostile. i can feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences i  can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my  mind, and 
            doing damage there.           
                                          
 then  i  realize  i can't  hear anything 
     because there's something there      
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
        particular microtonality.         
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are entirely calm.  it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i  must  try to 
 escape. to crawl on  the floor searching 
 relief, such  is  my nature. turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does noting...  but  time does  -  after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting anything  of  this happened  in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes  are still tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen if you  wander too  far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a prick  on  the nose,  that's 
 what  these are. like you do  with a cat 
 who  comes to close to  your sandwich...