dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,   and  for  a  second 
 everything  is completely calm and  dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly  start   to  piece   together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the   fear  hits  me  and  i  feel 
   acutely sick. something is wrong.    
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles  and crosses inscribed 
 all over my vision,  pressing in,  being 
 almost hostile. i can  feel them squirm, 
    their internal logic changing and     
 grinding trenches in my  mind. it's like 
 language, sentences i  can't  hide from, 
 forcefully transcribed  in my mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i realize  i can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody,  almost caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings  are entirely calm. it's 
             almost mocking.              
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but i  must  try  to 
 escape.  to crawl on the floor searching 
 relief, such is my nature.  turning  the 
    lights on does nothing... getting     
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting... but  time  does  - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of this  happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still tense though,  scared. 
 i    don't   know    what    to    make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this can happen  if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess?  i  shouldn't be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick on  the  nose, that's 
 what these are. like  you  do with a cat 
 who  comes to close to  your sandwich...