dreams          
                          
                                   
                                          
                                       
                                 
                                       
                                          
         internal visionary state         
                                          
            the spirit travels            
                                          
                          
                                       
                                          
                  a cost                  
                (anecdote)                
                                          
                                        
                                          
 i  wake  suddenly,  and  for  a   second 
 everything  is completely calm  and dead 
 silent.  it's  dark,  and  warm,  and  i 
 slowly   start  to  piece   together  my 
        consciousness and my body.        
                                          
 then  the  fear  hits   me  and  i  feel 
    acutely sick. something is wrong.   
                                          
                                        
                                          
 there are circles and crosses  inscribed 
 all over my  vision,  pressing in, being 
 almost hostile. i can feel them  squirm, 
     their internal logic changing and    
 grinding trenches  in my mind. it's like 
 language, sentences  i  can't hide from, 
 forcefully  transcribed in my mind,  and 
           doing damage there.            
                                          
 then  i realize i  can't  hear  anything 
      because there's something there     
    already, droning everything out, a    
 rapid  melody, almost  caustic  in  it's 
         particular microtonality.        
                                          
                                        
                                          
 my surroundings are  entirely calm. it's 
              almost mocking.             
                                          
 i  feel  helpless,  but  i must  try  to 
 escape.  to crawl on the floor searching 
 relief, such is my  nature.  turning the 
     lights on does nothing... getting    
  outside does nothing... drinking water  
 does  noting...  but  time  does - after 
     thirty seconds i'm normal again,     
 doubting  anything  of  this happened in 
             the first place.             
                                          
 my eyes are still  tense though, scared. 
 i    don't    know    what    to   make. 
                                          
              but i'm tired.              
                                          
                                         
                                   
                                         
                                          
 this  can happen if you  wander too far, 
 i  guess? i  shouldn't  be  so  reckless 
              when dreaming?              
 i imagine a  prick on the  nose,  that's 
 what these are. like you  do with  a cat 
 who comes to close to  your  sandwich...