RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ---------------------------------------- &¨¨&¨¨&&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ OPERATION. &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #-- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ --# FOR QUIET AND CALM #-- &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ --# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #-- &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #-- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ --# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #-- &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# AND AT EASE #-- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #-- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ --# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #-- &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #-- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #-- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ --# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #-- &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #-- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ --# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #-- &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ --# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #-- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
&¨&¨¨&¨&&¨ &¨&&¨&¨&¨¨
&¨&¨&&¨¨&¨ ---------------------------------------- &¨¨&¨&¨&¨&
----- - --- - -- --
- -- - - ¨ -¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.