RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
..&.&..&.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ &&..&&&.&&
&....&..&. .&&.&.&.&&
&&....&..& THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&&.....&.
&&&....&.. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. .&&&......
&.&&....&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL .&.&&.....
..&&&....& CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ...&&&....
..&.&&.... &..&.&&...
....&&&... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &&...&&&..
....&.&&.. THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &&&..&.&&.
......&&&. IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &.&&...&&&
&.....&.&& THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&&&..&.&
&&......&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ..&.&&...&
.&&.....&. DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &...&&&..&
.&&&...... COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &&..&.&&..
.&.&&..... .&&...&&&.
...&&&.... IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND .&&&..&.&&
&..&.&&... CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR .&.&&...&&
&&...&&&.. COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ...&&&..&.
&&&..&.&&. WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ...&.&&...
&.&&...&&& OPERATION. .....&&&..
..&&&..&.& .....&.&&.
..&.&&...& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .......&&&
&...&&&..& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: .......&.&
&&..&.&&.. &........&
.&&...&&&. ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .&.......&
.&&&..&.&& ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ..&.......
.&.&&...&& ...&......
...&&&..&. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ &...&.....
...&.&&... ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .&...&....
.....&&&.. ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ ..&...&...
.....&.&&. ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ &..&...&..
.......&&& &&..&...&.
.......&.& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ .&&..&...&
&........& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ .&&&..&...
.&.......& ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ .&.&&..&..
..&....... ...&&&..&.
...&...... ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ ...&.&&..&
&...&..... ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ &....&&&..
.&...&.... ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ &&...&.&&.
..&...&... ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ &&&....&&&
&..&...&.. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ &.&&...&.&
&&..&...&. ..&&&....&
.&&..&...& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ..&.&&...&
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.