RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
.&.&&&..&& ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...&&.&&..
&&&..&.&.& ..&.&&.&..
..&.&&&&&. THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN .&&&.&&&.&
.&&&....&. THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &..&&..&&&
&..&...&&. ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &.&.&.&..&
&.&&..&.&. CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &&&&&&&.&.
&&.&.&&&&& ......&&&&
.&&&&..... MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING .....&....
&...&..... THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ....&&....
&..&&....& IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ...&.&...&
&.&.&...&. THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ..&&&&..&.
&&&&&..&&& WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE .&...&.&&&
....&.&..& DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &&..&&&...
...&&&&.&. COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) .&.&..&...
..&...&&&. &&&&.&&...
.&&..&..&& IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ...&&.&...
&.&.&&.&.& CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR ..&.&&&...
&&&&.&&&&& COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE .&&&..&..&
...&&..... WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &..&.&&.&.
..&.&....& OPERATION. &.&&&.&&&.
.&&&&...&& &&..&&..&.
&...&..&.& SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY .&.&.&.&&.
&..&&.&&&& NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &&&&&&&.&&
&.&.&&.... ......&&..
&&&&.&...& ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~ .....&.&.&
...&&&..&. ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~ ....&&&&&.
..&..&.&&. ...&....&.
.&&.&&&.&. ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~ ..&&...&&.
&.&&..&&&. ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~ .&.&..&.&.
&&.&.&..&& ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~ &&&&.&&&&&
.&&&&&.&.& ~~# AND AT EASE #~~ ...&&.....
&....&&&&& ..&.&.....
&...&....& ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~ .&&&&....&
&..&&...&& ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~ &...&...&.
&.&.&..&.. ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~ &..&&..&&&
&&&&&.&&.. &.&.&.&...
....&&.&.. ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~ &&&&&&&..&
...&.&&&.& ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~ ......&.&&
..&&&..&&& ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~ .....&&&.&
.&..&.&..& ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~ ....&..&&&
&&.&&&&.&. ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~ ...&&.&..&
.&&...&&&. ..&.&&&.&.
&.&..&..&. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .&&&..&&&.
^^^~^ ^ ~~^ ^ ~^ ^~
^ ^^ ^ ^ . ^. .
. . % .
.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.