RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨§¨ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§¨
§§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨ §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨§§§§§ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN §§¨¨§§§§§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. §¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨
§§§§§¨¨§§§ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL ¨¨§§¨¨§¨¨§
§§§§¨¨¨¨§§ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. §¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§§¨¨§§¨¨¨ ¨¨§§§§§§§¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING §¨¨§§§§§¨¨
§§§§§§§¨¨¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨¨¨§§§¨¨§
§§§§§§¨¨§§ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨¨
¨§§§§¨¨¨¨§ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨
¨¨§§¨¨§§¨¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE §§§§§§¨¨¨¨
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE §§§§§¨¨§§§
¨¨§§§§§§¨¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) §§§§¨¨¨¨§§
¨¨¨§§§§¨¨¨ §§§¨¨§§¨¨¨
§§¨¨§§¨¨§§ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND §§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR §¨¨§§§§¨¨§
¨¨§§§§§§§§ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
§¨¨§§§§§§§ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨§§¨¨¨¨§§§
¨¨¨¨§§§§§§ OPERATION. ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§
¨§§¨¨§§§§¨ §§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY §§¨¨§§§§§§
¨§§§§¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: §¨¨¨¨§§§§¨
¨¨§§¨¨§§§§ ¨¨§§¨¨§§¨¨
§¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§ »»# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #»» §¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§
¨¨§§§§¨¨§§ »»# FOR QUIET AND CALM #»» ¨¨§§§§§§¨¨
§¨¨§§¨¨¨¨§ §¨¨§§§§¨¨§
¨¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨ »»# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #»» ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
§§§§§¨¨¨¨§ »»# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #»» ¨§§¨¨¨¨§§§
§§§§¨¨§§¨¨ »»# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #»» ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§§
§§§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ »»# AND AT EASE #»» ¨§§¨¨¨¨¨¨§
§§¨¨§§§§§§ ¨¨¨¨§§§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§§§§ »»# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #»» ¨§§¨¨§§¨¨¨
§§§§¨¨§§§§ »»# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #»» ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§§
§§§¨¨¨¨§§§ »»# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #»» ¨§§§§§§¨¨§
§§¨¨§§¨¨§§ ¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨§ »»# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #»» ¨¨¨§§¨¨§§¨
§§§§§§§§¨¨ »»# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #»» §§¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨§§§§§§¨¨§ »»# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #»» §¨¨§§§§§§¨
¨¨§§§§¨¨¨¨ »»# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #»» ¨¨¨¨§§§§¨¨
§¨¨§§¨¨§§¨ »»# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #»» ¨§§¨¨§§¨¨§
¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨¨
§§§§§§§§§§ »»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»» §§§§§§§§§§
^^^»^ ^ »»^ ^ »^ ^»
^ ^^ ^ ^ ¨ ^¨ ¨
¨ ¨ % ¨
¨
WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.