RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION                     
                                                              
¨¨§§¨¨¨§¨¨ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §§§§¨¨§¨§¨
¨§¨§¨¨§§¨§                                          ¨¨¨§¨§§§§¨
§§§§¨§¨§§¨ THE COMPUTER IS A  VERY COMMON  TOOL  IN ¨¨§§§¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨§§§§¨§§ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN  NOW. ¨§¨¨§¨¨§§§
¨¨§¨¨¨§§¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST  AMOUNTS  OF SMALL §§¨§§¨§¨¨§
¨§§¨¨§¨§¨¨ CALCULATIONS IN A  SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. ¨§§¨§§§¨§§
§¨§¨§§§§¨§                                          §¨§§¨¨§§¨§
§§§§¨¨¨§§§ MOST WORK  ON  THE PRINCIPLES  OF POSING §§¨§¨§¨§§¨
¨¨¨§¨¨§¨¨¨ THE  PROBLEM ON  A HILBERT PLANE,  WHICH ¨§§§§§§¨§§
¨¨§§¨§§¨¨¨ IS THEN  FOLDED  OUT  OF  CAUSALITY,  SO §¨¨¨¨¨§§¨§
¨§¨§§¨§¨¨¨ THAT   DAEMONS  CAN  SOLVE  THE  PROBLEM §¨¨¨¨§¨§§§
§§§¨§§§¨¨¨   WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE    §¨¨¨§§§¨¨§
¨¨§§¨¨§¨¨¨ DAEMONS  ARE  UNDER  CONTRACT  WITH  THE §¨¨§¨¨§¨§¨
¨§¨§¨§§¨¨¨         COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.)          §¨§§¨§§§§¨
§§§§§¨§¨¨§                                          §§¨§§¨¨¨§¨
¨¨¨¨§§§¨§¨   IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND   ¨§§¨§¨¨§§§
¨¨¨§¨¨§§§¨ CLERKS TO PRAY  TO THE  "GODS" OF  THEIR §¨§§§¨§¨¨§
¨¨§§¨§¨¨§§ COMPUTER,  OR  TO THE DAEMONS  DOING THE §§¨¨§§§¨§§
¨§¨§§§¨§¨¨ WORK,  FOR  A   QUICK  AND  FAULT   FREE ¨§¨§¨¨§§¨§
§§§¨¨§§§¨¨                OPERATION.                §§§§¨§¨§§§
¨¨§¨§¨¨§¨§                                          ¨¨¨§§§§¨¨¨
¨§§§§¨§§§§      SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY       ¨¨§¨¨¨§¨¨¨
§¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨    NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE:    ¨§§¨¨§§¨¨¨
§¨¨§¨§¨¨¨§                                          §¨§¨§¨§¨¨§
§¨§§§§¨¨§§      ~~# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #~~      §§§§§§§¨§¨
§§¨¨¨§¨§¨¨        ~~# FOR QUIET AND CALM #~~        ¨¨¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨§¨¨§§§§¨¨                                          ¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨¨¨
§§¨§¨¨¨§¨¨     ~~# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #~~     ¨¨¨¨§§¨¨¨¨
¨§§§¨¨§§¨¨    ~~# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #~~    ¨¨¨§¨§¨¨¨§
§¨¨§¨§¨§¨¨     ~~# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #~~     ¨¨§§§§¨¨§§
§¨§§§§§§¨¨            ~~# AND AT EASE #~~           ¨§¨¨¨§¨§¨¨
§§¨¨¨¨¨§¨¨                                          §§¨¨§§§§¨§
¨§¨¨¨¨§§¨§     ~~# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #~~     ¨§¨§¨¨¨§§¨
§§¨¨¨§¨§§§     ~~# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #~~     §§§§¨¨§¨§¨
¨§¨¨§§§¨¨§   ~~# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #~~   ¨¨¨§¨§§§§§
§§¨§¨¨§¨§§                                          ¨¨§§§¨¨¨¨§
¨§§§¨§§§¨¨    ~~# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #~~   ¨§¨¨§¨¨¨§¨
§¨¨§§¨¨§¨¨     ~~# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #~~    §§¨§§¨¨§§¨
§¨§¨§¨§§¨§    ~~# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #~~     ¨§§¨§¨§¨§§
§§§§§§¨§§§      ~~# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #~~     §¨§§§§§§¨¨
¨¨¨¨¨§§¨¨§        ~~# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #~~       §§¨¨¨¨¨§¨§
¨¨¨¨§¨§¨§§                                          ¨§¨¨¨¨§§§§
¨¨¨§§§§§¨§ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ §§¨¨¨§¨¨¨§
           ,,,~,     ,   ~~,   ,            ~,   ,~           
           ,     ,,     ,     ,      ¨     ,¨     ¨           
           ¨            ¨                  *      ¨           
                               ¨                              
                                                              
                                                              
           WOULD    YOU    CONSIDER    CODE    GOLF           
           TO     BE    A     KIND    OF    PRAYER?           
           AS   IN,   YOU   MAKE   A    CONVOLUTED,           
           INTRICATE,   BEAUTIFUL,   AND    USELESS           
           ARTIFACT.  AS  IN,   YOU'RE  USING  YOUR           
           SKILLS    TO    ASK    FOR    SOMETHING,           
                                                              
           ...I'D   ASK  FOR  A  HANDFUL  OF  BUGS?           
                                                              
           CODE   HAS    BUGS,    LOTS    OF    IT.