RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
¨¨¨¨@¨@@@¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨@@¨¨¨¨@¨@
@¨¨¨@@@¨¨@ ¨@¨@¨¨¨@@@
¨@¨¨@¨¨@¨@ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN @@@@@¨¨@¨¨
¨@@¨@@¨@@@ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. @¨¨¨¨@¨@@¨
¨@¨@@¨@@¨¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL @@¨¨¨@@@¨@
@@@@¨@@¨@¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. @¨@¨¨@¨¨@@
¨¨¨¨@@¨@@@ ¨@@@¨@@¨@¨
¨¨¨¨@¨@@¨¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING @@¨¨@@¨@@@
@¨¨¨@@@¨@¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH ¨¨@¨@¨@@¨¨
@@¨¨@¨¨@@@ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO ¨¨@@@@@¨@¨
@¨@¨@@¨@¨¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM @¨@¨¨¨¨@@@
¨@@@@¨@@@¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE ¨@@@¨¨¨@¨¨
¨@¨¨¨@@¨¨@ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE @@¨¨@¨¨@@¨
¨@@¨¨@¨@¨@ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) @¨@¨@@¨@¨@
@@¨@¨@@@@@ ¨@@@@¨@@@@
¨¨@@@@¨¨¨¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND ¨@¨¨¨@@¨¨¨
¨¨@¨¨¨@¨¨¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR @@@¨¨@¨@¨¨
¨¨@@¨¨@@¨¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE @¨¨@¨@@@@¨
¨¨@¨@¨@¨@¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE ¨@¨@@@¨¨¨@
@¨@@@@@@@@ OPERATION. ¨@@@¨¨@¨¨@
¨@@¨¨¨¨¨¨¨ ¨@¨¨@¨@@¨@
@@¨@¨¨¨¨¨¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY @@@¨@@@¨@@
¨¨@@@¨¨¨¨¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: ¨¨¨@@¨¨@@¨
¨¨@¨¨@¨¨¨¨ @¨¨@¨@¨@¨@
@¨@@¨@@¨¨¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« ¨@¨@@@@@@@
¨@@¨@@¨@¨¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« ¨@@@¨¨¨¨¨¨
¨@¨@@¨@@@¨ ¨@¨¨@¨¨¨¨¨
¨@@@¨@@¨¨@ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« @@@¨@@¨¨¨¨
¨@¨¨@@¨@¨@ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« @¨¨@@¨@¨¨¨
¨@@¨@¨@@@@ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« ¨@¨@¨@@@¨¨
¨@¨@@@@¨¨¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« @@@@@@¨¨@¨
¨@@@¨¨¨@¨¨ @¨¨¨¨¨@¨@@
@@¨¨@¨¨@@¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« @@¨¨¨¨@@@¨
@¨@¨@@¨@¨@ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« @¨@¨¨¨@¨¨@
¨@@@@¨@@@@ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« @@@@¨¨@@¨@
@@¨¨¨@@¨¨¨ ¨¨¨¨@¨@¨@@
¨¨@¨¨@¨@¨¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« @¨¨¨@@@@@¨
¨¨@@¨@@@@¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« @@¨¨@¨¨¨¨@
@¨@¨@@¨¨¨@ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« ¨¨@¨@@¨¨¨@
¨@@@@¨@¨¨@ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« @¨@@@¨@¨¨@
@@¨¨¨@@@¨@ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« @@@¨¨@@@¨@
¨¨@¨¨@¨¨@@ ¨¨¨@¨@¨¨@@
@¨@@¨@@¨@¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« @¨¨@@@@¨@¨
~~~«~ ~ ««~ ~ «~ ~«
~ ~~ ~ ~ ¨ ~¨ ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.