RITUALS FOR COMPUTER OPERATION
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« ¨&&¨¨¨¨¨¨&
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &¨&¨¨¨¨¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ THE COMPUTER IS A VERY COMMON TOOL IN &¨&¨¨¨¨&&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ THE FUTURES, AND IN SOME WAYS EVEN NOW. &¨&¨¨¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ITS JOB IS TO DO VAST AMOUNTS OF SMALL &¨&¨¨&&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ CALCULATIONS IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ MOST WORK ON THE PRINCIPLES OF POSING &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ THE PROBLEM ON A HILBERT PLANE, WHICH &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ IS THEN FOLDED OUT OF CAUSALITY, SO &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ THAT DAEMONS CAN SOLVE THE PROBLEM &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ WITHOUT AFFECTING REAL LIFE. (THESE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ DAEMONS ARE UNDER CONTRACT WITH THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER MANUFACTURER.) &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ IT'S COMMONPLACE FOR PROGRAMMERS AND &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ CLERKS TO PRAY TO THE "GODS" OF THEIR &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ COMPUTER, OR TO THE DAEMONS DOING THE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ WORK, FOR A QUICK AND FAULT FREE &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ OPERATION. &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ SOME UBIQUITOUS AND GENERALLY &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ NON-CONTROVERSIAL RITUALS INCLUDE: &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# LIGHT A SCENTED CANDLE #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ ««# FOR QUIET AND CALM #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ ««# RECITE A MANTRA OR OTHER #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# REASSURING MESSAGE TO MAKE #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ ««# THE COMPUTER COMFORTABLE #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# AND AT EASE #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# SOME LIKE TO SAY A BRIEF #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ ««# PRAYER FOR SOLACE, TO BE #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# LEFT ALONE DURING THEIR WORK #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# OFFER A CUP OF STEAMING TEA #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ ««# OR A MEAL TO THE MACHINES #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# (SOMETIMES, BY FEY RULES, #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ ««# THE DAEMONS ARE ALLOWED #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ ««# TO RESPOND TO THIS) #«« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨&&¨&¨&&¨ &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
&¨¨&¨&¨¨&¨ «««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««««« &¨&¨&¨&¨&¨
,,,«, , ««, , «, ,«
, ,, , , ¨ ,¨ ¨
¨ ¨ † ¨
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER CODE GOLF
TO BE A KIND OF PRAYER?
AS IN, YOU MAKE A CONVOLUTED,
INTRICATE, BEAUTIFUL, AND USELESS
ARTIFACT. AS IN, YOU'RE USING YOUR
SKILLS TO ASK FOR SOMETHING,
...I'D ASK FOR A HANDFUL OF BUGS?
CODE HAS BUGS, LOTS OF IT.