party,  bathroom,  door  locked,  lights 
 off, shower curtains  drawn. floor  full 
 of  dirty clothes, of garbage,  and as i 
 start to unzip  my pants, she  steps out 
 of   the  shower   and   pushes  me   to 
 theground. 
  
 i   wish   to   be  contacted  by   some 
 [god,  alien] who  would bestow upon  me 
 some  incredible  power  that  will  set 
 everything right forever.  what  i don't 
 know  is   that  this  happens  multiple 
 times  per second  - they ask  me: "when 
 you said  the  world egg was  your ideal 
 body  type, did you  mean it"?  i answer 
 "not really, but i can act  like it  for 
 you,  if  you'd  like".  at  this  point 
 however  they  have  already  erased  my 
 memory  of  the encounter  and moved on. 
 subconsciously,   this   is   where   my 
 sadnesscomesfrom